


Shadows Conquered, Lights Extinguished

by Frostre



Category: Guardians of Childhood - William Joyce, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Golden Age AU, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Lots of frotting (with uniforms on), M/M, Masturbation, Possession, Recovery, Trauma, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-02-24 12:33:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2581586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frostre/pseuds/Frostre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it weren’t for the loyal cadet who remained by his side, things could have gone terribly different for General Kozmotis Pitchiner indeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue ∾ The New Cadet

The galaxies were on the cusp of war. The Dream Pirates grew bolder with each passing day and it was high time to put an end to their all-consuming hunger for dreams and power. General Kozmotis Pitchiner was not alone in thinking this. The Constellations and their rulers all saw the increasing danger too. Stars were being snuffed out and to stop it, they decided to put together the greatest fleet ever to sail the known universe. Kozmotis was put in charge of it, having proven himself a great leader, and although some members of the crew were chosen for him—the best and brightest from every Constellation—for the most part Kozmotis was allowed to put the crew of his own flagship together himself.

Which was what brought him to the Golden Army Academy today for one last member.

There were a lot of eyes on him as he strode through the grand hallway, leaving awed murmurs of “Lord Pitch!” in his wake. It made him grimace slightly. ‘Lord Pitch’ was the name his crew had started calling him by and it sounded far too high and mighty for his taste. He considered himself a humble man, only wanting to protect and ensure a bright future for his family, but with the tremendous task he was charged with, he supposed titles couldn’t be helped.

He entered the great hall where lines of cadets were assembled for him and the face of his old teacher (and former commander, Ashok) greeted him with a smile.

“Kozmotis, my boy! That’s quite the promotion you got. Told you you were destined for great things, didn’t I?”

“Indeed you did, sir.”

All formalities were momentarily discarded as Ashok gave him a one-armed embrace, making quite a number of the cadets boggle at the blatant display of informality. Kozmotis clapped the man on his back before pulling back.

“What have you got for me?”

Ashok had always taken great pride in his recruits and that obviously hadn’t changed. The enthusiastic gesture he made at the cadets nearly knocked one over.

“My best students! I think you’ll find yourself having a hard time choosing just one!”

“Consider the challenge accepted,” Kozmotis said indulgently, falling into step with Ashok as he started moving down the line, introducing every fresh-faced, nervous-looking recruit. None of them could really look him in the eyes for long, too nervous.

Except for one.

A boy with windswept white hair and piercing blue eyes met his gaze steadily, mischief painted all over his features. Compared to the rest of his fellow cadets, he was positively relaxed. There was a wildness about him that Kozmotis recognised, he’d seen it often enough in his daughter’s eyes and, occasionally, in the mirror. Kozmotis was already intrigued before Ashok had a chance to speak.

“What is your name?”

The boy straightened a little though the slope of his shoulders remained loose, a fearless grin on his face.

“Jackson Overland Frost.”

The boy—Jackson—barely looked of age so when he spoke, the deep voice surprised Kozmotis.

“Jackson-”

“Just Jack,” the boy interrupted, earning a quiet gasp of surprise of the cadet next to him at the sheer insolence.

Ashok narrowed his eyes and then laughed.

“Fearless and a troublemaker, that one,” he said, ushering Kozmotis along to the next recruit.

Kozmotis refused to budge until he’d inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement at the boy, his tone low and amused.

“Jack.”

“Sir.” The boy’s eyes seemed to sparkle impishly, his gaze locked with Kozmotis’ as he inclined his head in return. Somehow he managed to make the word sound impolite.

It looked like Ashok’s challenge wasn’t going to be much of a challenge at all. Fearless was exactly what Kozmotis was looking for. It was much needed in the war to come.

He was led and introduced to the rest of the cadets, his mind already mostly made up, before they were dismissed for lunch. He and Ashok joined them, taking up a table that gave them a prime view of the recruits so Kozmotis had a chance to observe them while Ashok continued to speak about them at length. He perused the files about the cadets on the pad he’d been given while he listened, occasionally glancing up to watch them.

The chatter was subdued in his presence. Most talked in hushed, respectful voices. All except for one, of course. Jack talked normally and his laughter rang loudest in the room.

“What about him?” Kozmotis asked with a nod at Jack, interrupting Ashok.

“Ah, Jack? Well, the boy is brilliant, there’s no doubt about that. I could even call him my best student … ”

There was a hesitation there, a frown creasing Ashok’s forehead.

“But?” Kozmotis gently prompted.

“Like I said, Jack is a troublemaker. He has an inordinate fondness for playing games and tricks and a tendency of not listening to authority. He’s not the easiest to handle. That said, the boy’s skills are undeniable. Here,” Ashok took the pad, flicking over to Jack’s file and tapping a recording.

Kozmotis watched with interest as the video played, showing Jack on a Solar Surfer maneuvering around obstacles and dodging projectiles flawlessly with reckless abandon.

“It’s like he can speak with the winds themselves.” There was a note of fondness in Ashok’s voice and that only made Kozmotis more convinced of his choice. “He reminds me a lot of you, actually.”

“Was I that much of an upstart?”

“Yes. Yes, you were,” Ashok said with a pointed look that made Kozmotis chuckle.

“I’m guessing you’ve made up your mind then.”

Kozmotis nodded, glancing down at the recruits again only to find himself staring straight into piercing blue eyes.

“Yes, I have.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

* * *

 

That same afternoon, Jack was brought aboard his ship and his crew was finally complete. To his own mild surprise, Jack’s reputation was already known among some of his sailors and the news that the boy was joining their crew garnered a wide variety of reactions. Some dismayed, others disbelieving or confused and then there were those who were highly amused. Like his second-in-command and good friend, Caelem.

“Somehow I’m not surprised by your choice at all.” Caelem was half-lounging on his desk, flicking the ponytail he kept his dark curly hair in as he turned his head to look at Kozmotis. The long red officer’s coat combined with Caelem’s rugged looks and darker complexion made him look more the part of a pirate than a military man. Getting him to look more professional had never worked for any commanding officer and Kozmotis never even bothered to try himself. He didn’t need to hear the tale of how changing Caelem’s style would be a galactic tragedy for all.

“Is that your approval then?” Kozmotis kept shuffling through his files, only briefly glancing up to see Caelem slide off his desk at the sound of approaching footsteps.

“Eh, too early to say. If he’s anything like how you were back in the day then I’m going to say no. Experiencing one of you in a lifetime was bad enough.”

“I assure you, from what I’ve heard he’s much worse than I ever was.” Kozmotis grinned, setting aside his reports.

Before Caelem could do anything other than make an expression of mock-despair, there was a knock on the door. The door swung open, forcing Caelem to step aside to let in Jack and his escort.

Although the escort turned and left again after a brief greeting, Caelem was still standing by the door, glancing at Jack’s back and then up to Kozmotis. Kozmotis raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. Caelem’s eyes widened before he mouthed ‘ _he’s cute._ ’

Kozmotis resisted the urge to make a very rude gesture right there in front of a new recruit and instead waved Caelem off with an impatient motion of his hand. Caelem slipped through the door with a grin, closing it behind him and leaving Kozmotis alone with Jack.

The boy—young man, really—had already been put in uniform, the blue suited him though the clothes were a little too big on his slight frame. Just like at the Academy, Jack showed no sign of being nervous. He looked calm and confident, the spark of mischief in his eyes apparently an ever-constant thing.

Kozmotis motioned for him to take a seat across his desk, waiting until Jack was seated before speaking up.

“I take it you’ve been informed of the rules and your duties aboard this ship?”

“Oh yeah,” Jack wrinkled his nose, smiling wryly. “Do they always make you repeat everything they say?”

“Supposedly it’s the best way to make the information stick,” Kozmotis said with a returning smile.

Jack raised an eyebrow, looking almost challenging as if daring Kozmotis to ask him to repeat everything and prove that it didn’t stick at all. Kozmotis didn’t indulge, instead he sat back and steepled his fingers together, fixing Jack with a considering look.

“Tell me about yourself. I know all about your skills and reputation, but very little about you individually.”

For the first time Jack faltered, obviously having been taken off guard.

“Well … it’s all there in the file, isn’t it?”

A nice attempt at deflection. Just not good enough for Kozmotis to actually be dissuaded.

“It is, but I like getting to know my crew personally.”

Jack almost fidgeted in his seat, an uncertain expression on his face that revealed more to Kozmotis than any words could have.

“Uh, I come from the constellation Delphinus which- well, you probably already know that the moons there got destroyed by Dream Pirates. So we escaped to Zeus, my mother, sister and I, and I joined the Academy there. I’ve never really known my father, he died when I was young.”

Apparently talking about himself like this made the boy uncomfortable, considering the way Jack tapered off and shrugged his shoulders awkwardly.

“I see. So did you join with the hope of getting revenge for your fallen home?”

Jack blinked as though such a thought had never even occurred to him. “No.”

“Then why did you join?”

The impish grin made a reappearance, lighting up Jack’s face so that every trace of his previous hesitation and uncertainty disappeared.

“The army has the best ships.”

It was Kozmotis’ turn to blink in brief surprise then he chuckled, conceding.

“That it does. So, your love for sailing brought you here?”

Jack’s grin widened, seeing the words as approval, and he nodded.

“Fair enough. Your talents will be of great use here, I’m sure you will make an excellent scout.”

“I will,” Jack said, a conviction behind his words that made the confidence real rather than bravado.

“That will be all then. We’re setting sail first thing tomorrow.”

Jack rose to his feet, giving him a wild grin and a lazy salute that was more a wave of his fingers than anything. Then he turned to leave.

“Oh, and Jack?” Kozmotis waited for Jack to look over his shoulder before continuing, fixing the boy with a half-stern, half-amused look. “Try not to cause too much trouble on your first night.”

“I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises, captain.”

Kozmotis shook his head as Jack left his quarters. He felt confident about his choice, there was much he saw of his younger self in Jack (penchant for mischief aside), though convincing the rest of the crew might be a difficult task to come.

 

* * *

 

Only mere hours later Kozmotis had to wonder if Jack had tried very hard at all. A commotion on deck had drawn him out of his cabin and the scene he found himself looking at wasn’t impressive in the slightest. Some of the crew were covered with food and Jack was sporting a bloody nose, being held by Caelem who sported an equally bloody nose, his coat dripping with soup.

Supposedly a prank had led to an exchanging of blows. Kozmotis sighed.

“For wasting food, the cook will decide your punishment,” he said to Jack before crooking his finger at Caelem and turning around to move back into his cabin, Caelem on his heels.

When he turned to face his friend inside the cabin, he wasn’t expecting Caelem to be grinning, much less the words he offered.

“You made the right choice.”

Hopefully Caelem was right.

At least the rest of the night continued to pass peacefully. Kozmotis didn’t sleep, he stayed up drawing courses and getting the details of his plans down. The endeavour they were about to undertake was vast and it would require much thorough planning if they wanted to rid the entire universe from the plague of the Dream Pirates. By the time he checked the dial for time, it would only be a few more hours until cast off.

Deciding a small break was in order, he left his cabin to check on his crew. They were sleeping below deck. Or well, most of them were. One was missing.

Jack.

A quick stroll around the deck didn’t yield any results as to the boy’s whereabouts so eventually Kozmotis moved below deck again, venturing toward the kitchen area.

Jack was there, polishing piles of cutlery and plates. Kozmotis wasn’t overly surprised to find him there. The cook never took kindly to people wasting food. Rightly so. It seemed the cook had gone for a harsh approach right off the bat, no doubt thanks to Jack’s reputation.

The boy looked half asleep where he stood, eyes drooping and hands moving in automatic grabbing and circular motions. He didn’t notice Kozmotis’ presence, not even when Kozmotis approached and stopped right behind him.

This wouldn’t do, the boy would need his sleep.

Gently he grabbed Jack’s wrists just as he’d put down a fork, trying to steer him away when the contact suddenly made Jack more aware and he resisted. “No, no, no, I’m almost done,” he slurred, blinking hard.

“Jack, it’s alright.”

“I gotta finish.” Jack shook his head stubbornly, freeing his wrists and grabbing the next plate. The boy hardly seemed awake, swaying on his feet.

Kozmotis watched for a moment, utterly bemused, before rolling up his sleeves and picking up a cloth himself. He joined Jack’s side, grabbing a plate.

Jack finally paused in his automatic movements, glancing at Kozmotis as if he only just realised who exactly was standing next to him. Confusion was written all over his young, sleep-deprived face.

Kozmotis offered him a steady smile, one Jack slowly returned.

“You’re too nice, Koz,” Jack said as he started polishing again.

“So I’ve been told,” Kozmotis countered casually, not caring for the highly insolent nickname (it was a nice change of pace) and giving Jack a nudge with his elbow that made the boy’s grin grow brighter. “Be glad I am.”

Jack didn’t say anything, but his eyes softened and that said enough. They worked in companionable silence and together they finished more quickly than Jack could have on his own. Once they were done he ushered the boy off to bed and retreated back to his cabin.

They had some long journeys ahead of them.


	2. The Sting of Loss

In the end, Jack’s presence aboard the ship was a blessing. Even though at first not everyone would have agreed to that statement. Jack brought good cheer with him regardless of what went on. At first his antics had bonded his crew together against a common ‘annoyance’, but as they sailed to every corner of the universe and the war turned more bloody and vicious as the Dream Pirates grew more wily and cruel in their desperation to keep hold of their power, Jack’s lightheartedness was like a ray of bright moonlight aboard the ship. He could always make the crew laugh and his skills on a Solar Surfer had saved them more than a few times.

The moment Kozmotis was completely convinced of his choice was much earlier on in the war though.

As his campaign grew more successful, Kozmotis’ reputation as a great hero—Lord High General of the Galaxies—spread which put his family at risk. To that end, he had them moved to the Constellation Orion and when he was there, he’d taken Jack with him to keep him from causing trouble on the ship in his absence. He’d sent the boy to watch over his daughter while he caught up with his wife.

When he’d caught up sufficiently and gone to check on his beautiful daughter, he found Emily Jane and Jack on his daughter’s schooner in an enthusiastic debate about the best ways to sail. Emily Jane had taken an unusual, immediate shine to Jack and that was what cinched it.

Saying goodbye had been hard after that, but it had to be done. The war wasn’t over yet.

It only grew more ferocious and assassination attempts on his life were almost a daily occurrence. It did absolutely nothing to deter Kozmotis. If anything, it encouraged him to keep going. The Dream Pirates seeing him as such a threat they felt the need to try and assassinate him meant that his campaign was working.

Regardless of their vile attempts, Kozmotis stayed fair in his ways. The growing hatred that started fueling the war was not the way to go about it in his mind though he did understand. He found it important to stay kind and try to get the pirates to renounce their ways. Such fairness was what distinguished them from their enemies, it wouldn’t do to stoop to their level of cruelty. Not everyone in the crew was of the same mind, there were those who wanted revenge for all the planets destroyed and lives lost at the hands of the Dream Pirates. Kozmotis made them see things his way and so fair treatment of their enemies became the norm.

In hindsight, that kind of thinking was arrogance.

Visits to his family were few and far between so Kozmotis cherished every single one of them (often Jack insisted on coming along and Kozmotis allowed it for if he didn’t, Emily Jane would keep asking for him) and it was during one of those visits that fate struck.

Sightings of Dream Pirates near Orion sent Kozmotis off to face them. For as well defended as his home was, he would feel better taking care of the threat himself. Saying goodbye was harder than ever, but the silver locket Emily Jane gave him lifted his heart just a bit. Now he had a piece of his daughter that he could carry around with him. Jack was gifted a flower crown of brilliant, glowing Lunar flowers that he wore with unadulterated pride. He went on ahead so Kozmotis had time to say goodbye to his family in private. Kisses, hugs and reassurances were exchanged and Kozmotis left convinced that his family would be safe.

If he had known what was to come, he never would have left. Or if he’d even had the slightest inkling, he would have left Jack behind for the boy was the swiftest fighter on the crew.

But he didn’t know and he walked straight into a trap.

By the time news reached him of how his home had been infiltrated by a small group of Dream Pirates rather than the large attack Kozmotis had been expecting, it was far too late.

Faster than they have ever gone before, he directed his fleet back home where the smouldering remains of his palace awaited him. The dread and horror he felt couldn’t be expressed in words. All the same he kept his composure, ordering for the capture of the Dream Pirates. There was a chance his wife and child were still alive among them and he banked all his hopes on that.

It didn’t take long for the Dream Pirates to be caught and brought on board his ship, their numbers too small to stand any chance. They surrendered without a fight. As he demanded answers from the pirate captain, his hope was fast dwindling at the ones he received.

“They are dead. Your lady so feared our company that she threw herself to her doom, and the child with her.”

His beautiful wife and his wild, free daughter; gone just like that. His home was burned down to the ground, nothing left but ashes and the wreckage of moonstone. He would never even be able to retrieve their bodies. The whirlwind of emotions that rose up left him hardly able to speak.

“Is this true?”

“‘Tis true, my lord. I saw it myself. As did we all.”

The other pirates nodded in confirmation, their faces cruel and mocking. The despair and anger that overtook Kozmotis was so quick and sudden, he couldn’t even feel it. His expression turned stoic and cold as he leaned in close to the pirate captain’s face, his voice unerringly calm.

“Then feast your eyes on mine. They are the last things you will ever see.”

His body moved on its own, his awareness seemingly outside of himself, as he drew his sword and with one swift movement, he cut off the captain’s head. Without pausing, he moved on to the next pirate, repeating the motion while the prisoners suddenly struggled in their chains. The way their faces went from mocking to wholehearted fear was a grimly satisfying sight to see. Behind him he heard his crew shuffle and murmur, Caelem uncertainly calling his name. Kozmotis paid them no mind.

He moved mechanically down the line, chopping off heads and sending them rolling down the deck. _’No more mercy’_ was all he could think. He nearly reached the last of the pirates at the end of the line when there was a sudden commotion behind him.

“STOP IT!”

A shrill voice called out and a small figure darted from the crowd to stand between Kozmotis and his next target. Kozmotis only barely managed to stop swinging his sword in time. The blade halted in mid-air mere inches away from a pale neck. Kozmotis found himself staring into blue eyes.

“Move aside, Jack.” If he was more aware, Kozmotis wouldn’t have recognised his own voice. The cold cruelty of it distorted it into something not his own.

Jack didn’t budge.

“Please stop,” the boy pleaded, voice trembling with barely contained emotions. His eyes shined with unshed tears, making them seem more brightly blue and haunting in the starlight. The flower crown on his head was knocked askew in his haste. “This isn’t you. Don’t let them get to you.”

“ _Move_.”

Jack stared resolutely at him, his gaze almost accusing as he spoke his next words slowly and pointedly. “She wouldn’t want you to become this.”

The crew collectively held their breath as Kozmotis narrowed his eyes dangerously at Jack. The urge to knock the boy aside was there until his eyes moved to the flower crown. The stab of pain he felt in his heart made his shoulders droop, his resolve wavering and his sword lowering slowly as a result.

Jack inched forward carefully as though approaching a wild unpredictable creature, very gently reaching out and prying the sword from his hand. Kozmotis could only stare, lost and forlorn, as Jack offered a wan smile before the boy’s expression abruptly hardened. His eyes seemed to turn to ice and without warning, Jack whirled around and sliced the next pirate’s head clean off.

Kozmotis watched, numb, as Jack methodically finished what he started, killing every single pirate on the ship.

 

* * *

 

If asked, Kozmotis would have no answer as to what happened after that. All he knew was that he somehow found his way back to his cabin where he was left alone. Possibly by his own request or perhaps none of his crew dared approach him now. He existed in a state of shock, sitting still as a statue as he stared unseeing at the map on his table. He was only vaguely aware of time passing, though it must have been hours before someone entered his cabin.

Kozmotis didn’t move a muscle to see who it was until a glass of water was held in his line of sight.

“Drink,” Jack’s soft voice urged. Kozmotis took the glass, his limbs protesting at the movement after sitting still in the same position for so long. Kozmotis ignored the ache and downed the glass in one go. He wasn’t sure why he was listening beyond a vague feeling that he owed Jack at least that much.

He set the glass down on his desk.

“You didn’t even cry.”

Kozmotis finally looked up at that. Jack’s eyes were reddened and the smile on his face was a wretched thing. It could hardly be called a smile at all with all the sadness it contained.

He didn’t know what to say so he simply shook his head.

“You should, Koz.” Jack moved closer, crouching down next to him so he could peer up into his face when Kozmotis dropped his head again. “You can’t keep that all in.”

Kozmotis didn’t want to look in those big blue earnest eyes or see the flower crown on Jack’s head, yet he found himself unable to look away.

“Jack,” he started then winced at the sound of his own voice, cracked and broken. He cleared his throat to no avail, his voice now laced with hopelessness. “I’m the captain.”

He had no other way to explain it. He was a commander, a leader they all looked up to, he couldn’t break down now. He was a gentleman of the Golden Age.

“That’s crap and you know it.” Jack’s face hardened, his eyes narrowing into a glare. “You just lost your _family._ ”

Kozmotis finally tore his gaze away at that, mouth pulling into a taut line as he stared into the opposite direction. It was as if Jack had grabbed him by the throat and squeezed. Hearing someone say it made it seem more real and he didn’t want it to be.

_It couldn’t be._

“Koz,” Jack’s voice had gentled, soft and urgent. “I’m going to hug you now, okay?”

Kozmotis refused to look at the boy or say anything. Perhaps he would go away if he ignored him. Kozmotis couldn’t deal with this, he didn’t want to feel his loss and all that encompassed.

Sadly Jack wasn’t dissuaded by his silence. He heard the young cadet shift and before he could turn his head to look at him, two arms had wrapped around his neck and a weight was tentatively pressed against him. Slight, just like his daughter. Not as small as her, but the reminder was a dagger twist in his heart all the same.

He’d hugged his daughter just earlier today and that was the last time he would ever hold her again. If he’d known, he never would have let go.

His resolve shattered as reality truly sunk in and his face crumbled. He hid it against Jack’s shoulder though it did nothing to actually conceal his sorrow. His entire body seemed to lurch and shudder, his hands trembling as they gripped the back of Jack’s coat. Try as he might to keep some semblance of composure, it was a futile effort. The dam had burst and there was no stopping it now.

Jack was muttering things in a tight, shaky voice though Kozmotis couldn’t make out the words. His very bones seemed to rattle as he shook, making it impossible to hear anything other than his own hitching breaths and the noises of misery that escaped him. The grief slammed into him so sudden and hard that there was no hope of holding back the tears. His awareness was quickly dimming until he could only feel his pain and nothing else and eventually his world just dimmed completely.

 

* * *

 

When he came to, the first thing Kozmotis noticed was that there was something pressed against his leg and holding his hand. A careful tightening of his grip told him it was another hand, smaller than his own. It wasn’t his daughter’s, it was too big for that, and it wasn’t his wife’s because the fingers he could feel weren’t the long, slender fingers he’d grown so familiar with.

Opening his eyes took effort, they hurt and his head was pounding with a dull ache, yet he managed it somehow. Glancing down, he was greeted by the sight of messy white hair.

Jack was holding his hand.

There was a rustling sound when he moved his head and Kozmotis gingerly reached up with his free hand to pull whatever it was from his head. A flower crown, the kind Emily Jane always loved making.

It took a slow blink before the memories came back to him and he was reminded of the fact he would never hold his daughter’s or wife’s hand again or watch Emily Jane make her beloved crowns. He shied away from those thoughts as best as he could, instead setting the crown down on his desk and trying to focus on what happened. He must have … cried for a long while before passing out. Long enough that Jack had slipped down to the floor at the lack of a proper seat next to Kozmotis. The boy was curled up against the chair, partially leaning against Kozmotis’ leg, one arm resting on Kozmotis’ lap to keep hold of his hand.

Kozmotis figured he should wake him, it hardly looked like a comfortable position. Except he didn’t want to just yet. Jack looked so peaceful and _young_ in his sleep. It was hard to imagine this was the same boy who regularly caused a great deal of trouble and mischief. Not to mention things would probably be very awkward taking into consideration how he broke down in front of his youngest subordinate.

Perhaps it would be better to let him sleep a little longer.

With great care so as not to disturb Jack too much, Kozmotis tried to lower Jack’s arm in an attempt to make him at least a little bit more comfortable until Jack stirred, the action rousing him. Kozmotis froze and held his breath, hoping against all hope that Jack wouldn’t wake just yet.

Unfortunately the fates weren’t with him.

Jack lifted his head, blinking drowsily and flexing his fingers in Kozmotis’ hand. A look of mild confusion flitted across the boy’s face before it was replaced with a tiny, sleep-addled smile when he turned his head and saw his captain.

“Hey,” he greeted with a hoarse voice.

“‘Morning,” Kozmotis replied, uncertain what else to say. His voice was just as scratchy as Jack’s, if not more so. His throat felt oddly raw.

“How do you feel?”

Good question. Kozmotis didn’t know. Wretched, miserable, awful? No word felt strong enough to describe the gaping hole left in his soul, the despair and rage that clawed at his insides. He grimaced.

Jack caught on.

“Ah, that was kind of a terrible question, wasn’t it? Sorry, forget I asked.”

Jack squeezed his hand before letting go of him to stretch himself out, wincing and trying to work a kink out of his neck.

“It’s alright,” Kozmotis muttered softly. For once he felt utterly unsure around one of his crew. He owed Jack his gratitude—for stopping him, for taking on his burden, for being here—he knew that much for sure. He just didn’t know how to go about it. Words were possibly a good start. Maybe.

“Jack, I-”

A knock interrupted him before he could even find the proper words and the door swung open without waiting for permission.

Both he and Jack startled and glanced toward the door, Jack having to shift to his knees to peer over the edge of the table.

Caelem took one look at them and then snorted.

“You both look like shit.”

“Thanks,” Jack said ruefully, slowly getting to his feet with stiff movements and a lot of flinching.

“You don’t say,” Kozmotis remarked dryly, drawing Caelem’s eye by speaking up. Caelem’s expression immediately turned sympathetic as he strode over to his side to place a hand on his shoulder.

“Kozmotis, I don’t know what to say,” Caelem murmured, squeezing Kozmotis’ shoulder firmly. “I’m so sorry.”

Kozmotis shook his head, silencing any further halted words that couldn’t convey enough, and placed his hand over Caelem’s in acceptance of the gesture. Caelem nodded solemnly. That was all that was needed between them.

After a moment, Caelem drew his hand back and cleared his throat, voice shifting to the kind he used as second-in-command.

“I’ve set our course back to Zeus.”

“Why?” The question came out a little more sharply than Kozmotis intended, eyes narrowing at Caelem. “We should continue our campaign.”

The words earned an incredulous look from Caelem.

“I would think the ‘why’ is rather obvious.”

“He’s right,” Jack suddenly spoke up before Kozmotis could, cutting in. “I think a break is needed. I mean, you’re hurting a lot and … ”

 _’You can’t go on another wrathful rampage’_ was left unspoken, but Kozmotis got the message loud and clear.

He glanced between the both of them with a sullen glare. Unfortunately for him, neither wilted under his gaze so Kozmotis ended up sighing in defeat.

“Fine.”

The idea of having to ‘take a break’ did not sit well with him, he’d much rather throw his all in pursuing the Dream Pirates with more determination than ever before than having to pause and consider his loss. He knew better than to argue with Caelem though. And it wasn’t like he currently had the heart for it either way. If they went back to Zeus, they could resupply and Kozmotis could always distract himself with that task instead.

“Good man,” Caelem said, patting his shoulder before turning and leaving.

Jack was still staring at him with a look that Kozmotis read as concern.

“Isn’t there work you should be returning to?” Kozmotis quipped half-heartedly.

As lackluster as his attempt was, it still made Jack grin.

“Yeah, probably. But you-”

“I’ll be alright.” Kozmotis tried to sound convincing as he waved his hand dismissively. It wasn’t really working if the skepticism on Jack’s face was anything to go by. “I won’t be an accomplice in your duty shirking ways.”

 _That_ brought back the grin, banter seemingly more convincing than anything else he could say in actual reassurance.

Jack nodded and turned to move away. That’s when Kozmotis remembered there was something he had to do first before he let Jack go. The boy was about to take a step when Kozmotis’ hand shot out and grabbed hold of his wrist, making him pause and glance back.

“Jack,” Kozmotis started then immediately faltered. His gaze flicked away, hesitant, and back again as Kozmotis figured out the only thing he could say. “Thank you.”

There was a brief glimpse of surprise in Jack’s eyes that was quickly smoothed away when he smiled a smile that was sad yet warm.

“Of course.”

There was a heartfelt sincerity in those two simple words that touched Kozmotis irregardless of how he tried shutting out his emotions. He nodded in response as it was the only kind of reply he could think of. He let go of Jack’s wrist after which the boy reluctantly left him alone with his heavy thoughts.

Things were going to be different from now on.

Very different.


	3. Ten Years Later

Things changed after that. Of course they did, Kozmotis had lost the very reason he was fighting the war in the first place. Only the thought that no other family should suffer as he did kept him going. Hate had taken hold of his heart, fueling his determination, and he went after the Dream Pirates with a vengeance. His mercy had died with his family and although he did not kill his prisoners like he had that time, he showed no remorse sending them off to the newly built planet-sized lead prison on the other side of the cosmos. It was a fate he considered worse than death, especially considering that the Dream Pirates were not the only ones imprisoned there. Other dark creatures—Fearlings and Nightmare Men—were held within it and that’s what made the prison the most terrifying place to be. If anyone trapped in there were to come out, they would most assuredly not be the same; they would be just another shadow.

Kozmotis was relentless in his pursuit, sailing his ships throughout the entire galaxy and leaving no planet, star or moon unturned. Some had feared he’d gone mad with grief though that was not the case. He might have, were it not for the braver ones in his crew tempering him. Jack in particular was a steadfast presence by his side, never afraid to stand up to Kozmotis and question his decisions when it was needed. They all stood behind him and his goal: to rid the galaxy of the darkness that tainted it.

The Golden Age would be safe again.

And after ten long years it was.

The last of the Dream Pirates and Fearlings were captured and thrown into the prison. Kozmotis’ flagship was on its way back to Constellation Zeus to share the good news, a party being held on deck by the crew.

Kozmotis was in his cabin, feeling oddly empty after finally accomplishing what he’d set out to do all those years ago. He should be feeling happy, and he was to some extent, but now that he had gotten rid of all evil, he no longer had purpose. Without purpose and without his family, he had nothing left. It created an odd conflicting feeling of accomplishment and bleak emptiness that felt at odds with the celebration going on outside so he stayed where he was, not wanting to ruin the good mood of his sailors. They were used to him keeping to himself nowadays anyway.

Naturally that just wasn’t meant to be for it wasn’t long before Jack came bursting in, cheeks rosy from drink and laughter.

“C’mon Koz, you’re missing out on all the fun!” Jack crowed, dancing over on bare feet to a tune that was drifting in through the opened door.

“I’m fine here, thanks.” It was a paltry attempt at trying to deflect Jack when Kozmotis knew full well Jack would not relent when it came to having fun. The young man could make fun seem as if it were an infectious disease there was no escaping from until it had been passed on to someone else.

“I know you’ve really gotten into this brooding thing and all, which okay, does make you seem all mysterious and that suits you. But you gotta join us.”

“I’m sure there will be another party back in Zeus.”

“Yeah, but this one is with _us_.”

With just that Jack managed to make him feel guilty enough to concede even before Jack continued on with his other reasons.

“Besides, two celebrations is always better than one! Double the parties, double the fun!”

“Alright, alright.”

Kozmotis got to his feet with a defeated smile and moved around his desk. The moment he got near enough, Jack grabbed hold of his arm and proceeded to drag him out onto the deck. Only when he got near enough to the crew to be spotted did Jack let go of him though his freedom didn’t last long.

In a blur of red movement his face was grabbed, two hands pressing against both his cheeks. Kozmotis found himself blinking at Caelem’s joyful face, the scars Caelem had recently acquired across his cheek did nothing to make him appear any less handsome especially now that he was practically radiating with happiness.

“You did it,” Caelem said, voice brimming with barely contained emotions, and he kissed Kozmotis’ forehead before he burst out laughing.

“ _We_ did it,” Kozmotis corrected and the entire crew cheered loudly. It was impossible not to smile at that.

As if that was a cue, he was pulled along into the heart of the circle the crew was seated in and a glass was pressed into his hands. Caelem had one arm around his shoulders, he raised the other to hold up a glass of his own.

“To our captain, who never once faltered!”

Glasses were raised and Kozmotis quickly cut in before he could be toasted to, raising his own.

“To the best crew in all of the galaxies.”

“HEAR!” Voices called in unison and the glasses of star spice wine were downed in one go.

As soon as he had emptied his glass, Kozmotis was dragged into the empty space in the centre by Caelem as the enthusiastic chatter, laughter and music started up again. Although he shot his friend a warning look, when Caelem moved into position, Kozmotis did the same, ignoring thoughts of how the last time he danced he'd been dancing with his wife. Caelem knew this and Kozmotis suspected that’s exactly why Caelem did it. Regardless of that, he went along with it and danced to the music and the cheers of his crew.

It made him feel a little less empty although it also brought on a sadness that came with the realisation that this would mean saying goodbye to his loyal crew also. He would truly have nothing left.

Jack was quick to take Kozmotis’ mind off it when he and Caelem switched partners and suddenly he had an armful of exhilarated cadet.

“See? Having fun doesn’t kill you.”

Kozmotis hummed thoughtfully as he fell into step with Jack, amused.

“You don’t know that, I could’ve been allergic.”

“Ha, I know you’re not,” Jack said and Kozmotis was given no chance to retort as Jack quickened the pace of the dance and Kozmotis was forced to keep up or stumble.

He spent the rest of the journey with the crew in their celebrations, indulgently dancing with any one of them who felt courageous enough to ask, actually rather enjoying the bittersweet last moments he would get to spend with them before they went home to their families.

 

* * *

 

The news was well-received in Zeus, the first Constellation to hear of the victory though that was a given considering it was the centre of the Golden Age, and celebrations broke out pretty much instantly on every planet in the vicinity. While the people celebrated, Kozmotis and his crew were led aboard the Moon Clipper to be received by the Tsar and Tsarina Lunanoff themselves who were currently staying in Zeus.

And sure enough, it wasn’t long until a figure in a splendid white dress hurried out on deck. The sight made Kozmotis’ heart ache, the Tsarina so resembled his departed wife. (Of course in Kozmotis’ biased mind, the Tsarina wasn’t nearly as beautiful as his wife and daughter had been.) The Tsar was following closely on her heels, delight painted on both their faces.

“Lord Pitch you’ve done it!” The Tsarina’s melodious voice called out as she reached him, gratefully taking both his hands in hers.

“I couldn’t have done it without my devoted crew.” Kozmotis inclined his head respectfully, smiling as she beamed up at him. She let go and stepped aside to make room for her husband who grabbed his hand to shake it heartily while the Tsarina moved to greet the crew individually.

“We can’t thank you enough,” the Tsar said, apparently trying to convey the depth of his gratitude through the firm grip he had on Kozmotis’ hand.

Kozmotis shook his head to show that words of thanks were unnecessary, about to reply when something glowing by the door the Lunanoffs had come through distracted him. He tilted his head slightly to see it better, the Tsar glancing over as well when he noticed Kozmotis’ diverted attention.

There was a small boy seemingly made out of moonlight itself peering around the doorway, cradling something in his arms. A baby.

Ah, that’s right. Kozmotis had heard about that a year ago.

“Congratulations on your son.”

The words made the Tsar look back to him, his entire face lighting up even more at the mention of his son. The spectral boy shot away now that he’d been spotted.

“You’ve made the universe a safer place for him. Truly, you have our eternal gratitude. If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.”

“Live happily, that is all I ask,” Kozmotis replied with equal sincerity in his voice to match the Tsar’s. It made the Tsar nod and pat his shoulder appreciatively before he turned to lead them all inside where a feast would be prepared for them. The Tsarina moved to her husband’s side, leaving an almost bashful-looking Jack in her wake to Kozmotis’ mild surprise.

Kozmotis followed, catching another glimpse of the glowing boy as he darted into a new hiding place with a playful giggle.

“Nightlight,” the Tsarina elaborated, having spotted Kozmotis’ curious look. “Lunar’s personal guard.”

Kozmotis nodded his understanding, not bothering to question the wisdom of having a child look after another child when it was so obvious that Nightlight was no normal boy. Anything made up out of light would do well to fend off any dark creature. Not that it was necessary anymore with all of those imprisoned. Still, Kozmotis could see the logic behind such a decision.

The patter of hurried steps drew Kozmotis’ focus away and he glanced to his side to find Jack keeping pace with him, an excited grin on his face.

“Are we really having a feast with the House of Lunanoff?”

“Well, we _are_ getting quite the hero’s welcome here.”

Jack looked so awestruck and thus young at that reply that Kozmotis couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and ruffle Jack’s hair good-naturedly. Jack could no longer truly be considered a boy, but he was still short of stature, his frame slight and lean which suited his agile ways. As Jack had grown over the years, Kozmotis had come to see him more as an equal than anything.

Jack snorted, batting his hand away though there was relief in those blue eyes at seeing Kozmotis in a better mood.

Kozmotis had never doubted they would accomplish their goal so there was no surprise for him when they managed it unlike some of his crew. The only surprise in the past ten years was how close he’d grown to Jack, he’d been a constant by his side. Saying goodbye to Jack when he went home would be probably be the hardest thing of all when Kozmotis had grown so used to his constant presence and mischief.

The feast was a rather intimate affair despite how elaborate the food and dishes served were. It was just the sailors from his flagship (the last of the great fleet to sail out and capture the remaining Dream Pirates) and the Lunanoff family. It wasn’t as huge as it could have been and Kozmotis was rather thankful for it.

At least until there was talk of parades and medal award ceremonies then Kozmotis rather wanted to excuse himself and sail away as fast as he could, never to look back. Sadly Jack’s and Caelem’s eyes were on him so any attempt at escaping was sure to be thwarted. Plus, there was another important matter that needed to be discussed.

“About the guarding of the prison … ” He started awkwardly once he caught the Tsar’s eye.

“We’ll call a meeting with the other Houses about that later on,” the Tsar replied with a reassuring gesture. “Until then I’m sure the Moonbots stationed there can handle it.”

Kozmotis was in the process of reluctantly nodding when Jack kicked him under the table, staring at him with a look that had the threat _’shut up and just enjoy yourself’_ written all over it. Kozmotis stared back at him with strong disapproval.

Perhaps there were certain insolent behaviours of Jack that Kozmotis wouldn’t miss.

 

* * *

 

The promised meeting didn’t take place until after a parade and an awarding ceremony for the entire fleet to be given medals. Both were rather ghastly and extravagant events in Kozmotis’ opinion though the parade was more so. Being flown around the Constellation like a trophy to be shown off wasn’t his idea of ‘fun’ (as Jack would put it) and the only thing that made up for it was the genuine happiness the people showed as they traveled freely between planets without fear for any attacks. That was all he needed to see, it was what he’d been fighting for all this time; safety for all.

Luckily for Kozmotis, Jack mostly stole the show during the parade by sailing along on his Solar Surfer and performing tricks, drawing the attention away from Kozmotis. He would have thanked Jack for it if the upstart didn’t genuinely enjoy the whole thing so much, clearly doing it for his own benefit of showing off and soaking up the attention. Not to be outdone by Jack, Caelem had pulled out all the stops and tried to charm and woo as many people as he possible could. That had worked in Kozmotis' favour too. the spotlight on his subordinates rather than him.

So Kozmotis had simply taken the opportunity to enjoy the company of his crew while he still could. It wasn’t as though the army would be entirely disbanded, but with no threats to fight there was no point in continuing to sail together. Most would likely go home and some might take up different positions maintaining the peace among the Constellations.

Either way it didn’t matter for what Kozmotis had in mind for himself would keep him away from his crew, possibly for good. So he cherished their company one last time.

The awarding ceremony was slightly more tolerable. Beyond having to hold a few speeches and receiving some medals himself—ones he didn’t quite feel he deserved because the thought that this wasn’t worth the loss of his family was one that haunted him and filled him with guilt despite the fact Jack had already scolded him for it ( _’of course it’s not worth the loss’_ ) when he’d voiced the thought aloud once—he didn’t have to do much. Watching his fellow officers be awarded was much more satisfying, they truly deserved it and he was proud of every single one of them. His crew most of all.

Perhaps he would have enjoyed all the fanfare once. Not anymore. The loss of his family had broken something fundamental inside of him and his world had seemed dimmer ever since, the bright spots in life harder to find. The war had given him purpose and a goal to focus on. Without it he felt adrift and as much as he wished he could enjoy the celebrations the same way everyone else did, he couldn’t. He found himself guiltily wishing he still had something to chase and that only soured his mood. It didn’t help that the sight of so many happy families made him keenly feel the loss of his own.

He needed something to _do_.

Which was why the meeting could not come soon enough.

Most of his crew had already dispersed to go see their loved ones and Caelem had found himself a new fling to spend time with so it was a surprise when Jack joined him on the way to the meeting on the Moon Clipper, once more a steadfast presence by his side.

“I would have thought you’d want to spend time with your family.”

“I already did for a bit. You wouldn’t believe how much my sister has grown,” Jack said casually, meeting Kozmotis’ suspicious gaze with a twinkle in his eyes. “Did you really think I would let you go alone? C’mon Koz, you know me better than that.”

_’I know you’re hurting.’_

Jack didn’t say that out loud. It wasn’t necessary to speak those words when Kozmotis knew perfectly well that the somewhat happy facade he’d been putting on the past few days would not fool Jack. It never did.

So Kozmotis had one more thing to feel guilty for: drawing Jack away from his family.

Hopefully that would not last long though he couldn’t imagine Jack reacting well to what Kozmotis was planning. Or maybe Jack already suspected it and that was why he decided to come along. Whatever the case, Kozmotis didn’t have it in him to send Jack away. He selfishly wanted to enjoy the brightness of Jack’s company for as long as possible. Soon there would be no place for that brightness in his life anymore.

Greetings and congratulations were exchanged among those gathered and once everyone settled down, some smaller topics were discussed first before they finally got to the subject of the prison now holding all of the universe’s evil.

“I want to stand guard,” Kozmotis declared, purposely not looking at Jack who was seated beside him and keeping uncharacteristically quiet.

There was some brief surprise in the room that was quick to pass. The rulers murmured to each other and the general sound of it was approving. It was Tsar Lunanoff who spoke after the others were done murmuring.

“An excellent idea. No prisoner would ever escape with our greatest hero standing guard!”

All the leaders nodded, voicing their approval.

Kozmotis was about to feel satisfied about that answer when suddenly Jack got to his feet so swiftly he knocked his own chair over in his haste, the noise and movement instantly drawing everyone’s attention.

“Are you all insane!? After everything he’s done for you, you want to send him off to the worst place in the universe? Where’s the gratitude in _that_?”

Jack’s outburst shocked the entire room into silence, even Kozmotis was shocked by the sheer venom in Jack’s voice. From where he sat he could see Jack trembling in his rage and before he had a chance to reach out and stop him, one of the ladies recovered enough to speak up, deeply offended and indignant.

“How dare you, questioning Lord Pitch’s valiant offer-”

“It’s not _valiant_ , it’s self-sacrificing and stupid!”

Kozmotis’ own temper rose and he only barely kept himself from slamming his hands down on the table and getting to his feet. His voice took on the dangerous edge that all his sailors had known better than to defy.

“Jack. _Enough._ ”

Naturally Jack took no heed, whirling around to turn his fury on Kozmotis.

“No! I’m not letting you do this to yourself! No way! The Moonbots work just _fine._ ”

Kozmotis was close to snapping, his composure fracturing a little as he reached out and grabbed Jack’s arm, squeezing _hard_ in warning.

“This is my decision, Jack, and mine alone.”

Jack met his gaze unflinchingly, the defiance stronger than Kozmotis had ever seen before, but there was something in those blue eyes that took a moment for Kozmotis to recognise.

Hurt.

“You’re only doing it because you think you have nothing left, but you’re wrong.”

“Oh?” The threatening tone hadn’t left his voice even as Kozmotis felt his heart constricting.

“You have _me_.”

Jack’s expression crumbled abruptly, turning pleading and desperate. Kozmotis had to look away.

“And the crew. We’re your friends, Koz. Just let us _help_.”

There were faces staring at them, tense and uncomfortable, reminding Kozmotis exactly where they were and how highly inappropriate Jack’s display was. Allowing him to come along had been a mistake. Kozmotis took a breath, bracing himself and hardening his heart in order to regain his composure, and then spoke calmly.

“Leave.”

“But-”

Kozmotis looked back at Jack, steel in his eyes.

“ _Now._ That’s an order, Mr. Frost.”

Jack momentarily faltered, genuine hurt flashing across his face until the anger from mere moments earlier made a return, turning his gaze icy to match Kozmotis’ steel.

“Fine, _sir_.” Jack practically spat out the words before turning on his heel and storming off with a lot of undue noise.

Guilt gnawed at him though Kozmotis staunchly ignored it, telling himself that chasing Jack off back to his family was the right thing to do. As much as he loathed to part on such bad terms, it was better this way.

Now he truly had nothing left.

Kozmotis was quick to make apologies on behalf of his wayward subordinate and steer the discussion back on track. Jack had left doubts in some of the leaders present. Kozmotis was quick to convince them that letting him stand guard was the best thing to do. Who else would keep the darklings at bay if necessary? The Moonbots could not fight like he could, he was their best bet as the stalwart hero of the Golden Age.

And so Kozmotis left the meeting, having gotten his way and yet he did not feel good about it at all.

He would leave early next dawn.

 

* * *

 

Facing his crew to share the news wasn’t something Kozmotis could do for fear that his resolve would falter and he would let himself be talked out of it, so he wrote letters instead. To Caelem wishing him the best and Jack …. it took a good while to think of what to write to Jack. The young man hadn’t been there when Kozmotis had left the Moon Clipper and it was highly unlikely he would see Jack again before leaving, so a letter would have to do.

In the end Kozmotis wrote an apology and tried to express his gratitude for all that Jack had done for him with meager words on paper. It did not feel like enough (of course it wasn’t) and he was half-tempted to tear it apart and leave without any words at all if it weren’t for the fact that Jack deserved better than that.

He left the letters to be found in places Kozmotis knew Jack and Caelem would find them and made his way to the airship docks early. He took the extra time he had to go back to his flagship and walk around on deck, feeling the smooth banisters underneath his hands one last time. The ship had been home to him for over ten years and he felt the need to roam around on it even if it made him feel terribly nostalgic and guilty for being nostalgic about _war._

A part of him was hoping that he would still run into Jack, that he could say he was sorry and thank him in person because that would feel more sincere than a letter, but alas. Jack was not on the docks or on the ship. He was probably with his family, where he belonged.

It was better that way. For both him and Jack.

When it was time to board the small sail ship that would take him to his new duty, it was with a heavier heart than he imagined.

But he refused to look back once the ship cast off. He’d made his mind up even before the last of the Dream Pirates were caught, he wasn’t going to change that now. This would be his new mission and he could not look back when the last time he’d done so, it had cost him dearly. He only had his determination left and that was not something he could afford to lose.

He retreated into the cabin, completely oblivious to the white-haired figure he left behind running on the docks and calling out desperately.


	4. A Surprise Appearance

The journey to the prison was an entirely uneventful trip, the only thing of note being the overly chatty captain who was quite eager to have a hero on board. Kozmotis considered it good practise for what was to come. No doubt his days would be filled with nothing but ‘uneventful’. He would have considered it torture in the past, sitting still had never suited him, but now his bleak outlook on life merely left him resigned to such a fate. Standing guard was the only use left for him, the one way he could personally ensure his hard work would not be ruined.

The happiness the newfound safety provided was for everyone else to enjoy, Kozmotis had lost his happiness a long time ago and he would not find it again in safety when he found himself longing for the old war days.

This was exactly what he deserved.

The ship’s captain stayed on board, too uneasy about being anywhere near the prison to even consider stepping foot on the planet. As Kozmotis strode forward to where the single door to the prison was, he couldn’t blame the man. The closer he got to the door, the more he could hear the whispering of the Dream Pirates, Fearlings and Nightmare Men trapped inside. The noise started as a drone and then changed in volume before dropping down to a low hum again, pulsating as if the creatures within had become one living, writhing mass. It was an eerie, unsettling sound.

He better get used to it, he thought grimly. It would be the only sound he would hear from now on.

He was led around the meager guard station by the Moonbots before he walked them to the ship, composing a quick list of supplies he wanted that the station was currently lacking. Once he helped the Moonbots aboard and had given his list, he turned to the captain.

“Rather you than I,” the captain said, glancing at the prison’s door and then back to Kozmotis sympathetically. “I could never be as brave as you.”

Jack’s words at the meeting rung through his head at that.

_’I’m not. I’m a coward.’_

Kozmotis kept that reply to himself as he smiled tightly.

The captain said goodbye and left with the promise to be back with Kozmotis’ supplies as soon as possible (considering he had to go to the other side of the cosmos, that would take a while), leaving Kozmotis alone with his sworn enemies.

With all the determination he could muster, he took up his post by the door, trying his best to ignore how the darklings inside had sensed his presence and had started muttering his name in a rising crescendo. The fury and hatred were palpable in the air, it was there in every hiss and spit of his name spoken like a curse, and that at least brought some satisfaction.

The whispers and mutterings were pretty faint where he stood, the prison keeping most sound in so no one would hear them unless they were standing as close as Kozmotis was, but over time they seemed to get louder and louder.

Occasionally he had to walk forward, making the noise fade a bit, just to remind himself that the voices weren’t in his head and that they weren’t actually as loud as Kozmotis perceived them to be. It was just the effect of standing there and having nothing else to listen to. It made it rather hard to ignore though he refused to reply. He may not have a choice in having to endure the horrid, twisted jabbering, he did have one in responding and he responded with resolute silence.

Despite his determination, it did wear at him as the days passed. The noise never ceased, it worked its way into his mind insidiously. Sometimes the voices pleaded, sometimes they cursed his existence, other times they whispered his fears and guilts out loud, taunting.

The only reprieve Kozmotis had discovered was that of looking at the locket his daughter had given him ten years ago that he never once stopped wearing since. Seeing the picture of her face in the locket gave him strength. Where it had been a painful bittersweet reminder previously, it now was a tether to his sanity and his resolution. It helped him remember why he was standing guard.

It served as a wonderful tonic that dispelled the hold the continuous stream of voices occasionally had on him. Shadowy claws that sunk their way into his brain, tainting thoughts and making his growing weariness more pronounced. Looking at Emily Jane’s face caused a momentary brightness that chased the shadows away and kept them at bay for as long as he looked at the locket.

If he didn’t have it, Kozmotis was certain he would have been lost to madness by now.

Still, he tried not to look at it too often. He was afraid the Fearlings would somehow catch on even though they had no way of seeing what he was doing and that they would then use it against him somehow. He could not let the memory of his beloved daughter be tainted in any way.

Thus Kozmotis looked at it as briefly and scarcely as he could manage, trying not to stare and remember his daughter’s face as vividly as possible for too long. It was getting harder to resist the temptation to look and be temporarily soothed the more time went on.

Kozmotis wasn’t actually sure how much time was passing. Out here it was always dark and although he could check, he saw no point in doing so. Time mattered very little now and with every day the same, the days just blurred and blended together.

It must have been some time because one day, he saw a small sailship approaching. That could only mean his requested supplies arriving.

Grateful to be pulled away from the temptation of looking at his daughter’s photograph yet again, he moved from the guard’s station to greet his ‘guest’. The distraction it provided would be very much welcome as well, to hear something other than treacherous voices continually whispering to him was probably going to be music to his ears.

With a weary albeit genuine smile he walked toward the small dock of the prison planet to receive his supplies. He’d asked for some good old-fashioned pen and paper to maybe write down his thoughts and memories to pass the time and keep himself together.

That seemed like a great idea right about now, he needed something other than the locket to help retain his sanity.

“Koz!”

Kozmotis halted in his steps, freezing up at the sound of a very familiar voice. It _must_ be his imagination or some Fearling trick.

Only it wasn't.

Jumping over the ship’s railing and nimbly landing on the dock was none other than Jackson Overland Frost.

Maybe he really had gone mad after all, Kozmotis thought desperately.

He blinked once. Twice. Jack was still standing there, his usual carefree grin in place as he glanced from Kozmotis to the ship’s captain, accepting the things the captain was handing him.

Kozmotis was so shocked to see Jack, words escaped him. It was as if someone had dunked his head in Neptune’s icy waters. It took a moment to get the gears in his head going again and to stop gawking. By then Jack was already bounding over with armfuls of supplies, beaming like it was just another regular day aboard his old flagship.

It wasn’t.

“What are you … ?”

“Doing here? Same as you!” Jack replied, perfectly chipper. He quickly elaborated before Kozmotis could get mad about the flippant remark. “I talked the Tsar and Tsarina into letting me stand guard with you. They agreed you shouldn’t be out here alone with all those Fearlings. What if you lost your mind? Anyone would around here. So we figured some company might help.”

The sheer surprise at the whole situation left Kozmotis unbalanced, slow to comprehend the words. From the corner of his eye he saw the captain about to cast off to leave again.

He couldn’t. Not without Jack.

“Wait-!”

Jack blocked his way so he couldn’t dart forward, casually glancing over his shoulder at the captain.

“It’s alright! You can go!”

The captain hesitated, looking from Kozmotis to Jack and then the prison door behind them. The latter seemed to be most persuasive of all, he gave an apologetic smile and shouted he’d be back when the next supply run came around before turning tail and sailing off.

Kozmotis was left staring at Jack in shock and rising anger with a dash of panic.

Jack merely shrugged nonchalantly and moved around Kozmotis to bring the supplies to the guard’s station. Kozmotis trailed after him, gesticulating wildly.

“You _can’t_ do this!”

“Can’t I? I’m doing it right now.” Jack’s steps faltered briefly as he neared the prison door, apparently finally noticing the faint noise coming from behind it. Kozmotis hoped that maybe that would be enough to scare Jack off … to no avail. All the young man did was mutter “huh, creepy” and then carried on, dumping the supplies on the desk.

“Jack, think about your _family_ -”

“They’re right here with me,” Jack said as he turned to face Kozmotis, a calm smile on his face.

Kozmotis gave him a lost, confused look, the wind knocked out of his sails by Jack’s odd statement.

Jack took pity and explained, pulling something that resembled a round compact mirror from his pocket. Kozmotis instantly recognised it for what it was: a communication device. The kind that had been popular during the height of the war for family members to warn and keep tabs on each other.

“See? My sister gave this to me so we can keep talking.”

Kozmotis wavered, knowing perfectly well that Jack’s mind was made up and he couldn’t be convinced, but still feeling the need to try.

“Jack, you’re _young_ , there’s so much for you out there. You should find someone, do anything you want-”

“I am doing what I want. I want to be right here.” The resolve shone through blue eyes, unflinching, and Kozmotis knew the battle was lost before it even properly started.

“Jack, _please_ ,” Kozmotis pleaded, reaching up to run his hands over his own face in frustration born out of desperation and instead winding up with his face in his hands, voice breaking. “Don’t do this. Don’t stay here, you don’t deserve this.”

“Neither do you.” Jack’s voice was hard and unforgiving with conviction.

Kozmotis wanted to tell him he was wrong and he fully intended to do so. Just as soon as his throat stopped feeling so constricted and he could get himself to lower his hands from his face.

“Oh, _Koz_.” Jack’s voice had suddenly gentled and Kozmotis could hear him step closer before two arms were slipping around his shoulders and he was gently tugged closer.

His resolve broke along with his composure and he ended up dropping his arms so he could move them around Jack’s slim waist and clutch at his back, burying his face against Jack’s shoulder.

He hated that Jack could do this to him so easily.

But as much as it broke his heart, it also felt good to hold and be held by someone again. Jack smelled as he always did, like stellar winds. It was familiar and profoundly comforting. It made his will crumble further.

“I missed you. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, voice tight, and Jack squeezed him too hard to be comfortable in response though Kozmotis had a difficult time caring about that.

“I know. Me too,” Jack replied shakily.

Kozmotis pulled back after a moment, noticing Jack’s watery eyes and reaching up to brush a stray tear away.

“You’re such an idiot, the biggest one in all the galaxies,” Jack laughed suddenly in an attempt to regain composure. “Caelem said to tell you that.”

“He got it wrong. He was already talking to the biggest fool in the universe.” Kozmotis said wryly, earning a slight dig in his ribs courtesy of Jack’s elbow.

For a moment they just stared at each other. Kozmotis felt terribly conflicted. Seeing Jack and having his presence near again was a great comfort. It made everything seem a little less bleak. Selfishly he was glad for the company, but then he also wanted Jack as far away as possible from here. He shouldn’t be sacrificing himself on Kozmotis’ behalf.

Kozmotis didn’t understand why Jack was doing it in the first place. Doing something for your superior or a friend was one thing, but this? This went above and beyond any call and Kozmotis had a hard time trying to fathom it.

“I’ll be here until you change your mind.”

Jack’s voice pulled him from his internal conflict, making him cant his head to one side in question.

“Change my mind?”

“About standing guard.”

Then Jack had come to persuade him to come back? If he went, Jack would come along, surely …

“And don’t you even dare thinking about leaving just for my sake. I’ll know if that’s the case. Do it for yourself when you feel ready.” Jack was letting go of him and stepping back, flashing him a cocky smirk accompanied by a wink. “Take as long as you need.”

Kozmotis frowned, not entirely certain how to take that. Not that he was given much chance to formulate a response, Jack was jumping right on to the next topic.

“C’mon, I brought some great food along.”

Compared to the atmosphere around them and the emotional turmoil waging inside Kozmotis, it seemed like such an absurdly _normal_ thing to talk about and thus inappropriate for their current setting and situation. Count on Jack to make light of it in the best way possible. Kozmotis snorted, incredulous.

“Really?”

“Really. Food is important! And every little pleasure counts, right?” Jack glanced at the door, his expression darkening as the noise rose to a crescendo. “Especially here.”

Kozmotis realised that for the first time ever, he’d been able to tune out the voices. He’d been so focused on Jack, they had been nothing but distant background noise.

“Yes,” he quietly admitted, following Jack into the guard’s station.

It turned out that Jack had brought some sun fruits and moon peaches with him. Those would spoil quickly without any source of light and since the prison didn’t have any orbiting suns or moons, they had to eat them fast. Not that Kozmotis particularly minded, his first bite into a moon peach nearly had him moaning at the rich taste flooding his tongue as well as the sensation of swallowing actual moonlight it provided. (Which in turn caused a tranquil feeling) Jack grinned knowingly at him the entire time.

Only once they had taken up their guard posts by either side of the door did the weight of being near the prison finally seem to dawn on Jack. He kept furtively glancing over his shoulder until Kozmotis advised him to try and ignore the voices.

So instead Jack chatted. A lot.

About anything and everything, whatever inane topic that come to mind. He talked about how and what some of the crew were doing now, his family, rumours about who was going to marry who among the royals, how he spent time with the baby prince’s (“totally awesome”) guard when he went to meet the Tsar and Tsarina, and even the latest fashion trends sweeping the Constellation Zeus.

For Kozmotis it was a pleasant change of pace to hear someone else’s voice, especially a familiar one, regardless of topic. Having nothing to contribute himself what with nothing new ever happening out here in this desolate place, he mostly listened.

It soon became obvious Jack kept talking in an attempt to drown out the noise behind him. His voice was growing hoarse and he kept stopping only to start again a minute later. Kozmotis could tell by Jack’s drawn face that the young man was only succeeding in exhausting himself so he took pity and sent Jack to the station to get some rest with the warning that actually sleeping was inadvisable.

The proximity to the Fearlings, Nightmare Men and Dream Pirates caused nightmares even though they could not feed on them from behind the dark matter door. It was a lesson Kozmotis had learned very quickly and, just like the constant cacophony, was something he had resigned himself to. Still, he slept as little as possible if he could help it.

Kozmotis stood alone for a while, feeling surprisingly lighter with the knowledge that Jack was near—which also made him feel guilty and the fearlings took advantage of it almost immediately, whispering about what a life ruiner he was—and a little more heartened, until a scream sounded from the station.

Jack must have fallen asleep despite his warning.

Kozmotis couldn’t blame him for it, the prison had a way of draining a person. The first day had been his hardest too.

Briefly abandoning his post, he entered the guard’s station to check on Jack, finding him sitting up and curled in on himself, trembling.

Kozmotis sat down on the edge of the bed carefully and placed a steadying hand on Jack’s back.

Jack stiffened, then leaned into the touch with a soft whimper.

Kozmotis moved his hand up and down soothingly in a gesture that came to him like an instinct. A father’s instinct.

Slowly Jack’s trembling stopped and Kozmotis could feel him relax under his hand, the tension gradually seeping from Jack’s smaller frame. He didn’t bother asking whether Jack was alright (the answer was rather obvious) or ask about what nightmare Jack might have had since a man’s nightmares were his own, he merely offered silent support until Jack seemed to have recovered somewhat. Kozmotis couldn’t tell entirely because Jack kept his face hidden against his knees.

But Jack was no longer shaking, his breathing had evened out and he didn’t feel tense anymore. So Kozmotis decided to speak up.

“You should go back.”

Jack lifted his head, eyes narrowed in a fierce glare that was startling in its intensity.

“ _No._ ”

Perhaps Jack would change his mind after a few days of being out here, Kozmotis could hope. It seemed unlikely though, Jack’s determination was equal to his own and a force to be reckoned with. Kozmotis sighed, looking away from those accusing blue eyes.

He gave Jack’s back one last rub before getting to his feet with the intention of returning to his post.

“Wait, don’t go!”

Jack’s desperate tone stopped Kozmotis even before the actual words did. He looked back in surprise, seeing Jack staring down at his own hands clutching the sheets in embarrassment at his outburst. He watched as Jack chewed his bottom lip nervously for a few seconds and then eventually looked up again, expression sheepish and beseeching.

“Just … just a little longer?”

Well, Kozmotis wasn’t exactly in a hurry to get back and he could see the door perfectly fine from the guard’s station so … it couldn’t hurt to stay a little while longer.

Kozmotis sat down again and Jack flashed him a small, grateful smile and then proceeded to burrow against his side, tossing the blanket over Kozmotis’ shoulders so they were both underneath it. He didn’t object, drawing comfort from the close contact. The noise was more distant from the guard’s station, making it easy to focus on the sound of their breathing as they slowly fell in sync.

Jack must be doing the same because he kept quiet. They simply sat in companionable silence, pressed against each other. It was as soothing a tonic as looking at the picture of his daughter was. The guilty thought that maybe with Jack here he wouldn’t have to look at it so often anymore flashed through his mind before he vehemently squashed it down.

He couldn’t use Jack like that nor should he get used to the idea of Jack being around. He needed Jack to go back home as soon as possible to make sure that this place didn’t have a chance of getting to him and taking away any of Jack’s brightness, tainting that wonderful vibrancy that made Jack _Jack_.

He had to think of a way to get Jack to go and not come back.

But for the moment, he gave in and indulged in the desperately needed comfort.

 

* * *

 

Over the days that passed, Jack had found a new way of keeping them both occupied and distracted from the prisoners’ noise. Rather than talking until his throat got too hoarse to continue, Jack thought up games for them to play. He’d all but commandeered the supplies of pen and paper Kozmotis had intended to use for a journal and used it to make cards or figures for whatever game he thought of.

More often than not they sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the prison door, engaging in games. Jack taught him games he used to play with his sister, simple card and board games, and in turn Kozmotis taught Jack more strategic games. Jack had an aptitude for them if he put his mind to it which sadly he was not often in the mood to do. Still, Jack actually managed to make them have a little fun in spite of the place they were stuck in. He’d even made Kozmotis laugh once or twice.

Kozmotis couldn’t deny that having Jack near made things a lot more bearable.

However, the price for it was that Jack did suffer being stuck on the prison planet. He grew more quiet and thoughtful, seeming almost melancholic at times. It made Kozmotis try harder at pretending to be fine, to hide the way this place was affecting him. Staying strong for his subordinates had grown into something of an automatic habit.

The one thing that helped Jack the most were the talks he had with his sister, he always came back a little brighter. Once a day he would retreat to the guard’s station and chat with his sister through the compact mirror. Kozmotis always remained by the door, respectfully keeping his distance and giving Jack what little privacy he could offer by not listening in.

The very first time Jack had briefly called him over because his sister had something to say to him. She had been a lovely, sweet young lady who was as fiercely protective of her older brother as he was of her. (“Take care of my brother and don’t hurt his feelings, alright?” Kozmotis wasn’t sure what she’d meant with that last bit, but he’d agreed all the same.)

It was during one of Jack’s chats with his sister, taking longer than usual, that Kozmotis felt the need to open his locket again for the first time in a while. Because it had been so long and because it seemed like Jack was going to take some time, he gave in to the urge and soon found himself smiling sadly down at his daughter’s face.

“I miss her.”

Jack’s voice suddenly spoke up right beside him, startling Kozmotis. He’d gotten so engrossed staring at the picture, he hadn’t noticed Jack’s conversation ending and his subsequent return at all. He was leaning over slightly, also looking at Emily Jane’s picture. Kozmotis was struck with the absurd impulse of shutting the locket and hiding it away until he remembered that Jack had been a good friend to his daughter.

“Me too,” he said, looking back down at the locket with longing.

“Bet she’d be very pretty now.” Jack’s tone had a hint of good-natured playfulness to it, obviously trying to make Kozmotis feel better while not shying away from the loss.

“Oh yes,” Kozmotis agreed, finding it surprisingly easy to imagine what Emily Jane might have looked like had she lived. The image that sprung to mind was one of a wild, fierce young woman. “As beautiful as her mother.”

“Probably even prettier because she’s got your genes too.”

That made Kozmotis glance up at Jack again, the start of a frown gracing his face along with a mildly quizzical look.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, trying for nonchalant but only looking awkward, a tinge of red rising to his cheeks.

“I’m just saying, you’re quite a looker too, y’know.”

His first knee-jerk reaction was to say thanks and hurriedly change the subject before the situation got any more uncomfortable, but then a revelation struck him hard and sudden that changed his entire perspective on Jack.

“Jack, why are you here?” He blurted the question out before he could think better of it, clearly taking Jack off guard.

“I already told you.”

The surprise of his realisation left him unable to think of a tactful way to put his next question so he blurted that out as well, staring at Jack with wide eyes while his fellow jailer regarded him as though he’d gone nuts.

“Do you … have a crush on me?”

The effect that query had on Jack was instantaneous. Briefly he looked startled, the red of his cheeks growing more obvious as he quickly laughed and waved a hand to cover his embarrassment.

“Uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, pretty much everyone in the crew did.”

It was Kozmotis' turn to look startled.

“What?”

After a surprised beat, his response sent Jack off in a genuine laughing fit, nearly doubling over in his mirth.

“Oh my stars, you actually never noticed? _Koz_!”

It was entirely new information to Kozmotis. Information that was rather hard to process because it was hard to imagine. Although … maybe that did explain some things.

But that was besides the point, he wouldn’t see his old crew anymore. Jack, however, was right here with him. Kozmotis focused on that instead of the flabbergasting new information Jack had just provided.

“So you do too?”

Jack paused, straightening slowly as he seemed to consider how to answer. In the end, he apparently went with the most honest response, giving Kozmotis a sheepish, almost _shy_ smile.

“Well, yes.”

Suddenly Jack’s sister’s words made sense. Kozmotis had no idea how to react to that. Was Jack here simply because he harboured feelings for him? That thought rather baffled and scared him at the same time.

Jack apparently read his mind or perhaps something showed on his expression because he continued speaking soon after.

“But I’m here because you’re my friend and you need someone.”

Kozmotis nodded, not entirely certain how to deal with the realisation that Jack had feelings for him.

“Look, it’s not a big deal, alright? I never brought it up, no one ever did, because it’s nothing, really. Just forget about it.”

Apparently his continued silence was giving Jack the wrong impression seeing as his tone had turned slightly desperate and the look he was giving Kozmotis bordered on being pleading. Kozmotis cleared his throat.

“Jack, it’s fine.”

Jack still didn’t really look convinced until Kozmotis gave him a playful nudge with his elbow, the relief was visible in Jack’s demeanour at the casual contact and gesture though some fearfulness remained in his tone.

“This won’t change anything, right?”

“No, of course not,” Kozmotis said, making sure to let his tone sound certain. He did wonder what signs he must have missed—clearly a lot if Jack wasn’t exaggerating about the crew—though it wasn’t worth the trouble fussing about. Jack was his only company here and it wasn’t worth losing their companionable time together over a harmless crush.

He added a smile for extra reassurance, making Jack beam back at him.

“Okay, good,” Jack exclaimed, giving the locket one last look—his grin fading to a sad smile—before moving away to his side of the door.

Kozmotis gazed down at the picture one last time, considering the thought of what his daughter would be like now and what she would think of Jack and his crush on him and to his own surprise, the thinking about her didn’t hurt as much as it used to. She would probably tease Jack mercilessly.

With a fond smile he finally closed the locket, the thought making him feel better and making Jack’s feelings for him easier to accept somehow.

When he looked next to him, Jack was grinning at him with his usual grin. The smudged darkness underneath Jack’s eyes made it seem less bright, though it was no less _Jack._

“So, you wanna play another game? You still haven’t managed to even the score.”

That was a challenge if Kozmotis ever heard one and he could always appreciate a good challenge despite not always being the most graceful of losers. Jack wasn’t either so it was always interesting. Their little inane squabbles were a nice way of returning to normalcy.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before Kozmotis was standing on his own by the door again, Jack having gone to catch up on sleep in the guard’s station. Both of them avoided sleep as much as possible, not wanting to suffer from the nightmares that plagued them whenever they gave in and got some shut-eye. It led to moments where they crashed and had no choice but to sleep and they took turns while the other rested.

Frankly Kozmotis was due for a crash as well. But he could hold on for a while longer, Jack had looked more dead on his feet than he did. He felt more susceptible to the voices when sleep-deprived so it didn’t take much time before he found himself staring at his daughter’s picture. Jack seemed to be taking much longer than usual and Kozmotis did not have the heart to wake him, goodness knew they needed all the sleep they could get, so he fell back on his old comfort.

That’s when he heard an intimately familiar voice that was not his own or Jack’s.

“Please, Daddy,” it pleaded. “Please, please, please, open the door.”


	5. Distraction Tactics

Kozmotis would have recognised that voice anywhere. _Emily Jane._

A momentary spark of hope made him look up until he decided that, no, he must be imagining it … Or more likely it was a Fearling trick. It had to be.

“Daddy, I’m trapped in here with these shadows, and I’m scared. Please open the door. Help me, Daddy, please.”

His heart lurched in his chest. The voice was really there and it couldn’t be the Fearlings, could it? They hadn’t heard the sound of his daughter’s voice in ten years and it sounded exactly like how he remembered it. She _had_ to be in there with them.

Panic suddenly seized him and hope caught his heart in a vice-like grip, making him convinced that his daughter was in there and he had to save her. There was no room for clear thought or the logic that would tell him that it wasn’t possible, that his daughter was dead. _Somehow_ she was in there.

Kozmotis whirled around, reaching for the door when something caught him around the middle and hauled him back.

“Koz, no! _It’s not her!_ ”

Jack.

He was trying to hold him back and Kozmotis was having none of it, struggling in Jack’s grip.

“No, no, it’s her. _It’s her_. I have to save her!” His voice was on the verge of hysteria as the pleas behind the door turned into screams.

“She’s dead, Koz!”

Jack didn’t relent, maneuvering his body between Kozmotis and the door without losing his grip. It was an impressive feat considering Jack’s slighter body and the fact he wasn’t as strong as Kozmotis.

Kozmotis’ desperation hit a new level as the scream turned into a soul-piercing wail. Jack suddenly let go of him, nearly making Kozmotis lose his balance and fall over, only to grab his face with both hands.

Admittedly Kozmotis wasn’t paying attention to Jack at all, his eyes fixated on the door, so when soft lips were pressed against his, he didn’t see the kiss coming. His body froze up, the sensation feeling almost foreign after so long and his brain was abruptly halted long enough for some sense to return to him when it finally caught up to him again.

He kept still and Jack broke the kiss after realising Kozmotis had stopped resisting.

“She’s dead,” Jack whispered desperately, tears in his eyes.

Just as quickly as the hope had risen, it was snuffed out. He glanced from Jack to the door and back to the tear-stained face again, utterly lost. Realisation was rapidly dawning on him and the weight of what he had been about to do hit him like a punch to the gut.

Jack had to let go of his face as Kozmotis fell to his knees, desolation taking hold and stripping him of all feeling. He’d nearly ruined everything he had worked so hard for himself because of some Fearling trick. If Jack hadn’t been there …

“I … ”

Words failed him completely, he could only stare at his hands with the deepest sense of failure. Smaller hands covered his own as Jack sunk down to his knees in front of him.

“Koz, it’s alright.”

Kozmotis shook his head vehemently. It was anything but alright.

The shrieking in the background trailed off, the noise returning to its usual eerie pulsing. It was a momentary relief until Kozmotis wondered if that’s what his daughter sounded like as she fell to her death.

Jack’s grip on his hands suddenly tightened and Kozmotis noticed he himself was shaking.

“You failed, Daddy.”

Suddenly Emily Jane’s voice spoke again, this time twisted and distorted with the echo of thousands of Fearlings. As if she was possessed by them.

“You failed and killed me. I’m dead because of you.”

Kozmotis felt all colour drain from his face. The Fearlings had taunted him with that accusation many times before and as much as he’d grown used to that, hearing it said in his daughter’s voice was a slap in the face. He’d always believed it was his fault and this only made that conviction so much stronger.

“Don’t listen.”

Jack’s tone was frantic, the look on his face absolutely horrified. He let go of Kozmotis’ hands to cover his ears instead. Everything grew muffled, though the damage was already done. Kozmotis felt as if all his insides had been gutted out to be replaced with a creature of guilt that was left to writhe around in the hollowed space with no escape.

Jack leaned in close, their foreheads and noses nearly touching, so Kozmotis’ vision was filled with nothing but Jack’s pleading face and he couldn’t look at the door anymore. Jack was mouthing words that Kozmotis couldn’t make out through the haze of tears. He didn’t even know when he started crying.

He just wanted to escape from the feeling of grief of renewed.

In a desperate bid to feel anything else, he tilted his head up and captured Jack’s lips with his own. Jack went still for a beat before slowly reciprocating. It started with just a press of lips, Jack leaning in, and then Jack tentatively moved his lips against his own. Tentative movements quickly spiraled into fervent and heated until Kozmotis found himself parting his lips to allow Jack’s prying tongue entry.

Jack’s hands slipped away from his ears so he could wrap his arms around Kozmotis’ neck and press closer. If the Fearlings were still using his daughter’s voice, Kozmotis couldn’t hear it over the noises their actions were creating. There was blood rushing in his ears, the rustling of fabric from their uniforms as they shifted, the wet indecent noises from their tongues sliding together and the sound of harsh breathing that filled the air.

Jack was coaxing him to lean backward and Kozmotis complied, his back soon pressed against one of the pillars as he sat back. Jack wasted no time using the new position to his advantage, settling himself into Kozmotis’ lap. Kozmotis had to tip his head back to keep the kiss from breaking, his arms finding their way around Jack’s slim waist. His actions rucked up Jack’s shirt, exposing a bit of bare skin that he was quick to pursue. He slipped a hand under the shirt, drawing out a moan from Jack. The sound went straight to his cock, the sharp spike of arousal after so long making Kozmotis moan in turn.

Jack took it as encouragement to grind down, forcing Kozmotis to break the kiss as he gasped.

Jack kept his face close, regarding Kozmotis with lust-blown pupils and an anxious look. The both of them panting hard. It took Kozmotis a moment before he understood the silent question behind that look. _Is this okay?_

Frankly he wasn’t in the space of mind to actually consider the question consciously. He went with what felt right and at the moment right was gripping Jack tighter to keep him slightly aloft while he parted his legs, creating just enough space for Jack to settle in.

Jack caught on instantly, easing himself into it as one corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked grin. The sight of it combined with Jack’s kiss-swollen lips and lustful half-lidded gaze made it so that Kozmotis really was too turned on to think coherently.

It wasn’t the most comfortable position, Jack’s slender legs ending up on either side of him, but their clothed crotches pressed together was a pleasurable sensation. He could feel how hard Jack was already and the friction was delicious when Jack leaned forward to kiss his neck. Kozmotis closed his eyes and leaned his head back, groaning through gritted teeth.

Jack’s movements were still on the hesitant side as he started moving his hips until Kozmotis moved one arm lower, gripping Jack’s backside and guiding him into firmer contact. He kept his other hand splayed on the bare skin of Jack’s back.

Jack’s inhibitions rapidly disappeared at that, his movements turning eager. Jack pulled away from his neck and changed his grip. His hands were clutching at Kozmotis’ shoulders for leverage as he rocked against Kozmotis shamelessly. When Kozmotis opened his eyes and let his head fall forward, he was greeted by the lovely sight of Jack lost in pleasure, mouth slack and eyelids fluttering, his breathing ragged and occasionally punctuated by small moans.

Kozmotis surged forward to kiss Jack, drawing him into a rough kiss as his own restraint was starting to falter. It would be better if they at least moved this to the guard’s station, but those few feet seemed too far away. Not to mention the enthusiastic way Jack gave in to the kiss worked very dissuading.

Distantly he thought that Jack’s crush wasn’t so innocent after all and he had to wonder how Jack had gotten so good at kissing.

They were thoughts that didn’t linger long as the pleasure kept building with every shift of Jack’s hips, blissfully wiping his mind of all thought. He was getting closer and closer to the peak and Jack must be too for the kiss turned sloppy and Jack’s movements more uncoordinated and desperate.

That’s when Jack stopped and shifted back, breaking the contact and enjoyable friction.

Kozmotis was about to heavily protest until Jack let go of his shoulders and moved his hands to his belt, his intentions becoming very clear. Kozmotis swallowed his protest, watching Jack’s flushed face avidly as Jack struggled to unbuckle his belt with unsteady hands.

“C’mon,” Jack muttered under his breath, voice hoarse. Kozmotis would have considered helping Jack if he weren’t so busy being captivated.

Jack managed to unbuckle his belt without his help anyway, a triumphant little grin on his face, and he was starting to fumble with Kozmotis’ trousers when suddenly a cacophony of warped voices pulled them out of the moment.

It made Jack pause, fingers stilling as he huffed out a laugh.

“That’s really a moodkiller.”

Kozmotis would agree if he wasn’t so ridiculously turned on and in desperate need of release. He no longer had the patience to wait for Jack to gather himself and continue with what he was doing and he didn’t care that his trousers were uncomfortably tight, bordering on downright painful.

“Jack,” he was all but pleading, his desperate tone immediately catching all of Jack’s attention. “Don’t stop.”

Jack was swallowing hard, biting his lower lip and staring at him in either surprise or shock before nodding hastily. He moved back to his previous position, only this time wrapping his arms firmly around Kozmotis' neck and pressing their bodies flush together before he started rocking again, their cheeks pressed together and making it so that Jack was moaning directly into Kozmotis’ ear. Kozmotis moved his arms so they were both holding each other tightly, grinding up against Jack and turning the pace hard and fast.

Jack was quickly reduced to a whimpering mess of noises, clutching at Kozmotis as though letting go would mean falling into the void of space. It wasn’t long before Jack was keening out his name as he came. It took a few more thrusts for Kozmotis to follow suit, Jack’s soft whimpering sending him right over the edge.

They were left panting and clutching at each other like a lifeline, their hold gradually loosening until Jack was a limp weight against him and Kozmotis sagged back against the pillar. Once the glow of orgasm passed and he caught his breath, Kozmotis was left with the uncomfortable reality of sticky trousers, sweat making his uniform stick to his skin and aching limbs.

Despite that, it was Jack who moved first when Kozmotis couldn’t get himself to budge. He pulled back enough to briefly catch Kozmotis’ lips in a kiss, soft and sweet, before leaning back further so he could properly look at Kozmotis.

Jack looked like a dishevelled mess. Kozmotis imagined he must look quite the same and Jack’s amused up and down flicker of his gaze confirmed his suspicion.

“We should um … get clean,” Jack suggested sheepishly.

“You go first,” Kozmotis said with a half-hearted wave in the direction of the guard’s station. His limbs still weren’t entirely obeying him yet.

Jack gave him a very pointed look.

“You really think I’m going to leave out here alone again? No way, you’re going first.”

Kozmotis suppressed a guilty flinch while Jack got off him and didn’t raise any protest. He took Jack’s offered arm to haul himself up, not entirely steady on his feet. The slick feeling when he took a step negated that, the need for a shower winning out.

Both grimacing, they awkwardly made their way to the guard’s station where Jack ushered Kozmotis into the shower and gathered a clean uniform for him. Tempting as it was to let the water soothe him for a good long while, he kept it short for Jack’s sake.

Before Jack got into the shower, he pointed sternly at Kozmotis.

“Don’t go out there without me.”

Frankly Kozmotis had no desire to go back to standing guard right away so he lied down on the bed. His exhaustion returned to him almost instantly, reminding him that he needed to catch up on sleep. He couldn’t yet though, not until Jack was done and someone was keeping an eye on the door.

Kozmotis resisted the lure of sleep as best as he could while sprawled on the bed, watching the door through hooded eyes. His mind was too muddled to make sense of his thoughts and what just happened with Jack that he didn’t bother trying. There was an odd sense of contentment that lingered in the wake of his orgasm and although he didn’t think he deserved to feel it, he was too tired to do anything other than bask in the feeling.

It had been a very, very long time since he’d felt something like it.

He was barely able to keep his eyes open when Jack finally reemerged. He could hear him laughing when he apparently caught sight of Kozmotis.

“Just go to sleep already.”

Jack’s voice was warm and fond, tinged with amusement. It was soothing, making the tug of sleep even stronger. When Jack ran a cool hand through his hair, Kozmotis gave in and closed his eyes, sighing softly as Jack repeated the gesture. He murmured something unintelligible in response and then sleep claimed him before he could reply to Jack’s amused “What?”

 

* * *

 

Kozmotis woke with a start, gasping and bolting upright into a sitting position. The memory of the nightmare was already fast slipping through his fingers, leaving him only with a terrible sense of dread and horror. He didn’t notice just how off kilter his breathing had gone until a hand was placed on his chest.

Kozmotis blinked at it in dull surprise, then glanced next to him to see Jack sitting there on the bed, looking concerned.

He opened his mouth to say something, only for a weird wheezy sound to escape him. His breathing was still too off to manage proper words.

“Shh, it’s okay. Just calm down.”

Jack shifted closer, keeping his hand pressed against Kozmotis’ chest. It gave him a point to focus on as his thoughts were too scattered by fear to be of any use, so that’s what Kozmotis did. He closed his eyes and turned his attention to the point of contact and the warmth radiating from Jack’s touch. Slowly his breathing evened out, rational thought returning to him.

Jack moved even closer, Kozmotis could feel him leaning against his side and soon lips were pressed against the corner of his mouth. Instinctively Kozmotis turned his head to turn it into a proper kiss, craving the comfort it provided.

Then he realised what he was doing.

He jerked his head back, almost making Jack tumble into his lap with the abruptness of his action. Jack caught himself clumsily by grabbing hold of Kozmotis’ shirt. Blue eyes glanced up, hurt and confused. It made Kozmotis feel like an idiot for not breaking it off more tactfully. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, grappling for the right words to explain.

“Jack, I’m not sure we should.”

Jack straightened and let go of him, staring at him with piercing eyes and an expression turned steely.

“Why not?”

Kozmotis had to look away.

“You’re my _subordinate_. I don’t want to- I was taking advantage of you.”

It wasn’t right. He held a position of authority over Jack and to use it this way was unacceptable.

Jack scoffed.

“Uh, no, you weren’t. If anyone was taking advantage, it was me.”

Kozmotis shook his head before lifting his gaze to meet Jack’s again.

“You didn’t. Jack-”

Jack continued speaking, raising his voice and thus cutting Kozmotis off.

“And besides, I’m not your subordinate.”

That shut Kozmotis up just out of sheer confusion, brows furrowing together in a frown. He looked at Jack questioningly while Jack stared at him with unflinching certainty.

“Out here we’re both just jailers. Nothing more than unnecessary prison guards.”

… Oh.

Jack had a point, the ‘unnecessary’ bit aside.

Out here alone with the Fearlings, Nightmare Men and Dream Pirates, there were no ranks or hierarchy of any kind. They held no weight and truth be told he’d considered Jack an equal long ago. Still, it felt odd doing this while knowing he’d been Jack’s General for years.

He glanced away, trying to turn it over in his head thoughtfully.

“It helped, didn’t it?” Jack had lost his bite, voice softer and more uncertain.

“... Yes.”

Kozmotis couldn’t deny that. They had tried distracting themselves countless times before and none had been as effective and successful as … well, what they had done. That had to be the first time he ever got so preoccupied that he forgot where he was.

“So let me help you.”

Slim fingers caught his chin and Kozmotis allowed Jack to turn his head, forcing him to look at Jack.

“I know you probably think you don’t deserve this, that you shouldn’t have happiness when your family is gone.”

This was getting too uncomfortably personal way too fast—it frightened Kozmotis how Jack seemed to look right through him and know exactly what was going on his head—that he tried to pull away.

Jack didn’t let him, his grip growing firmer when Kozmotis tried to pull his head back. There was a resolute look on Jack’s face that told him Jack would not be denied.

“You need to stop punishing yourself, Koz. It was never your fault. You don’t have to stay in this place and you’re allowed to feel good. Don’t you think they would want you to be happy?”

If his wife saw him now … she would punch him in the face and then set Emily Jane loose on him. His little girl's shin kicks had been a thing to be feared.

His expression withered.

“Jack, please … ”

Jack gave him a considering look then let go of his chin, moving his hand to caress Kozmotis’ cheek as he leaned in. Compared to the kiss the previous day, the one Jack initiated now was lazy and slow. It was a lot better than having to listen to painful words so Kozmotis didn’t hesitate to use the opportunity to keep Jack quiet for at least a little while.

The slow pace made it more sensual and intimate, Jack thoroughly exploring his mouth and sending shivers down his spine. When he was done with his exploration, Jack pulled back and left Kozmotis feeling dazed and slightly in awe. (Where _did_ Jack learn to kiss like that?)

Jack licked his own lips, still looking considering.

“If you really don’t want this, then that’s fine. You only need to say so.”

Kozmotis opened his mouth and then closed it again when the image of Jack in the throes of pleasure sprung to mind. He knew he should say no when Jack deserved so much better, but Jack had sparked a desire he once thought lost.

He couldn’t bring himself to lie.

Jack’s face relaxed at the continued silence, a smile spreading across his face as he tugged Kozmotis closer.

Kozmotis shifted so he could fully face Jack, his hands tentatively settling on Jack’s waist. It made Jack’s smile grow brighter. Brighter than Kozmotis had seen in a while, he realised. He decided it was high time to change the subject matter around.

“What do _you_ want, Jack?”

That visibly caught the young man by surprise and Jack glanced down, apparently thinking it over. When he looked back, he almost looked bashful. _Almost_ , because there was a sly hint in his eyes that did not fool Kozmotis. He’d seen it far too often to be tricked now.

“I really want you to … to take me.”

Kozmotis’ eyes widened at the thought and he had to breathe in deeply to steady himself.

“But not here,” Jack added apologetically.

There went his hopes, dashed.

Either this was all an elaborate ploy to get Kozmotis to give in and come back to the civilised world or …

Jack was glancing at the prison door, the smile gone and replaced by a troubled, anxious look. Kozmotis understood.

This really wasn’t the place for it.

When Jack looked back, the attempted smile fell short compared to the one before it.

“Anything else is good though,” he said, sidling closer.

“Like?” Kozmotis let his hands slip to the small of Jack’s back, making Jack arch against him. Two arms found their way around his neck and the look on Jack’s face was far from bashful now.

“Well, what we did before was nice. And I could do with a good make-out session right now.”

“Is that so?” Kozmotis brought his face inches away from Jack’s.

“Uh-huh,” Jack breathed, nodding with contained eagerness.

Amazingly Jack didn’t close the distance right away as Kozmotis expected he would do. He kept still, obediently waiting for Kozmotis to move in which he did eventually, taking mercy.

If he’d known this was what it took to get Jack to listen, he might have employed such tactics much sooner.


	6. Hope Renewed

It took a while for Jack to trust him to stand guard alone again and in that time they hadn’t really done anything that went beyond kissing and hands slipping under shirts to explore bare skin. To keep an eye on Kozmotis, Jack sacrificed even more sleep than usual and of course that ended up taking its toll on Jack.

The young man had put up an admirable fight, he’d stayed up on his feet an impressive amount of time, but when he almost fainted Kozmotis had had enough. With some convincing he ushered Jack off to bed to cash in his heavy sleep debt.

In the end it kind of backfired on Jack because now Kozmotis was left standing alone longer than usual. Kozmotis did not mind, the Fearlings hadn’t tried taking on his daughter’s voice again ever since that first time.

So it figured they did it again the moment he’d been standing alone for a good while, having been lulled into a false sense of security.

“ _Daddy_.”

It sounded as if the soft, plaintive whisper was spoken directly into his ear.

Kozmotis gritted his teeth, automatically reaching for the locket. This time he thought better of opening it and looking at Emily Jane’s picture. Instead he just merely gripped it, feeling the cool metal digging into his palm.

“Daddy, please!”

He turned his thoughts resolutely away from his daughter or anything remotely pertaining to his family. He thought of Jack and what they might do after he woke up. He had the feeling he was going to be in dire need of a distraction after this and it would be worth showing some initiative for. Jack had said anything else was fine and that left many, many interesting options. Kozmotis had been in the army since he was young so he had plenty of knowledge and experience he could put to use and show Jack.

It created a sense of anticipation, something to look forward to, and that made the voice behind him easier to ignore as it begged and wailed.

It remained a difficult task though. Hearing his daughter’s voice tugged at his heart and made paternal instincts rise to the surface, his mind wanting to panic and reach for the door. Kozmotis refused to give in this time, he resisted. He closed his eyes, counted his breaths, thought of _Jack_.

“Hey, handsome.”

The familiar voice made him open his eyes to the welcome sight of Jack standing right in front of him, a tired smile on his face. He looked even more worse for wear than before he went to sleep (and that was saying something), no doubt thanks to the nightmares. Likely Kozmotis looked just as miserable, offering a wan smile in return. This place was really not doing them any good. Wordlessly he reached out to Jack.

Jack ignored the offered hand in favour of just stepping forward, wrapping his arms around Kozmotis’ middle and slumping against him.

Kozmotis had no qualms about that and he returned the embrace readily, soaking in the contact and letting it steady him. They stayed put like that until the Fearlings ceased using Emily Jane’s voice.

When they finally stopped, Jack pulled away enough to look up at Kozmotis.

Kozmotis saw the spark of mischief in Jack’s eyes even before Jack let his hands wander down to squeeze his ass.

“Do you want me to take your mind off things?”

Jack’s hands drifted to his waist then his stomach before Jack dropped all subtlety and moved one hand downwards, palming him through his trousers and causing Kozmotis to breathe in sharply.

“Yes.”

Maybe it was a moment of weakness or maybe it could be considered a moment of strength in admitting that he needed the help. Whatever the case might be, it stopped mattering the moment Jack stepped back, flashed him a grin and then got down to his knees.

Jack’s hands were placed on his hips and Jack wasted no time in declaring his intentions by leaning forward and nuzzling his crotch. Kozmotis’ breath stuttered in his chest and his hands found their way into Jack’s hair without his permission, fingers curling into white tresses and holding tighter than he meant to.

“ _Jack._ ”

He felt Jack’s smirk through the fabric and the rush of arousal it caused nearly had Kozmotis swaying on his feet. Just by mouthing him through his pants, Jack had him hard in no time. Fortunately for him, Jack didn’t seem to be in a teasing mood or perhaps Jack was taking mercy on him because Jack proceeded working open his trousers without pause.

Jack pulled his cock out, stroking it a few times and providing sweet relief.

That relief did not last long when Kozmotis finally noticed that he had nothing to lean against. The nearest pillar was some feet away, as was the door (though even if it was closer, the door was not something Kozmotis wanted to touch much less lean against) so he was forced to stay standing and he could already feel the strain in his legs. Asking Jack to move this elsewhere would be like giving in and admitting defeat to an unspoken challenge.

Kozmotis did not want to do that nor was he given a chance to because next thing he knew, Jack was taking the tip in his mouth and sucking _hard_.

Kozmotis’ knees nearly buckled at the overwhelming pleasure that slammed into him. He had to double over slightly and tighten his grip on Jack’s hair to steady himself. It didn’t help that he could _feel_ Jack grin around him.

He was only granted a tiny moment of reprieve and then Jack was slowly sucking him down to the root. It took all of Kozmotis’ self-control to keep his hips still while simultaneously trying to keep his moans as quiet as possible, not wanting the dark creatures behind him to hear.

Jack paid no attention to his plight, only making it harder. He’d worked his way down to the root and was pressing his tongue up, making Kozmotis see sparks, before pulling back and sucking on the upstroke. Jack tongued the tip briefly and then started bobbing his head.

Kozmotis had to bite his lip hard to keep from crying out. His legs were trembling with the effort to keep himself upright and he was so focused on staying on his feet and keeping quiet, he forgot to pay attention to what his hips were doing. It resulted in him unintentionally bucking into Jack’s mouth.

Jack paused, mouth completely filled with Kozmotis’ cock, and inhaled harshly. Kozmotis wanted to apologise, but words were momentarily escaping him and it turned out the apology wasn’t necessary.

Jack changed his grip on his hips, actually guiding him and _encouraging_ the movement. Kozmotis nearly lost it then and there, tethering on the edge of orgasm. The first few jerks of his hips were halting and careful, but Jack kept pulling him in deeper, egging him on and Kozmotis was quickly coming undone.

He lost what little self-restraint he had left as Jack kept pushing. Soon he was holding Jack’s head in place, thrusting up into his mouth while Jack moaned around him. It took maybe two unrestrained thrusts before Kozmotis was tugging at Jack’s hair in warning.

Jack didn’t heed it. Or at least not in the way Kozmotis had been intending it. Rather than pulling off, Jack sucked him down again and Kozmotis came with a quiet, drawn out groan slipping past gritted teeth just as Jack was swallowing around him.

There was an explosion of stars behind his eyelids and by the time he came back to himself, Jack was already tucking him back inside his trousers and underwear, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Kozmotis’ legs were trembling so badly, he was close to collapsing to the floor. He had to move his hands to Jack’s shoulders as Jack got to his feet to keep himself steady.

“You are … ” Kozmotis murmured breathlessly as he stared into Jack’s grinning face, trailing off as he tried to find the right word to describe Jack. His brain must have been turned to mush because he couldn’t think of anything that even came close.

“Amazing?” Jack filled in after an amused pause.

That didn’t feel like a strong enough word. All the same Kozmotis nodded earnestly. Jack was that and more. So much more.

The confirmation made Jack’s grin turn into a wider, genuine smile. Kozmotis had to tear his gaze away from Jack’s face because at this point he was certain he was starting to look like an awestruck fool. He was looking him over when he noticed Jack’s predicament. Jack’s trousers looked uncomfortably straining and that wouldn’t do.

After making sure his legs weren’t about to give up on him, Kozmotis removed one hand from Jack’s shoulder with the intention of returning the favour when Jack suddenly caught his hand when it was halfway lowered. Kozmotis glanced up in surprise and was met with a sly look.

Jack stepped back, giving Kozmotis’ hand a gentle tug as he turned towards the guard’s station. Kozmotis got the message and followed, Jack clearly had something in mind already and Kozmotis wasn’t going to question it.

He was ushered into the guard’s station and sweetly asked to lie down on the bed. Considering the state of his legs feeling like jelly, Kozmotis was all too happy to comply. Once he was lying down on his back, Jack clambered on top of him, straddling his hips. He wanted to ask what Jack wanted, but apparently Jack’s desperation was a lot greater than he let on because he almost immediately rolled his hips, grinding down against Kozmotis’ stomach.

He didn’t get the opportunity to reach out and touch Jack or grip his hips to feel them shift under his hands, Jack reached out and grabbed both his hands, lacing their fingers together and thus pinning his hands to the bed.

Kozmotis really couldn’t complain about Jack using his body to get off like this, not when he had such a prime view of Jack giving in to his desperation for pleasure. There was no shame or hesitation as Jack kept rolling his hips, the movements growing more fervent. Jack looked wonderful with his eyes shut tight, his lips half-parted and his head thrown back as a flush was spreading underneath the dusting of freckles. Kozmotis drank in the sight greedily.

There was something distant about Jack’s look too, like he wasn’t entirely here with his thoughts and that made Kozmotis terribly curious.

He couldn’t help asking.

“What are you thinking of?”

Jack’s eyes fluttered open and he tilted his head forward to look at Kozmotis, eyes hazy with lust. Jack slowed his movements, taking a moment to gather himself enough to reply.

“Doing this, but with you inside me.”

It was an easy thing to imagine with Jack seated the way he was, nearly moving up and down, and the answer with the subsequent imagery that came to mind made Kozmotis groan.

Jack flashed him a dazed smile and Kozmotis was convinced that Jack knew full-well what he was doing to him.

Suddenly he wasn’t alright with lying there and letting Jack have his way with him. He _needed_ to touch Jack. He squeezed Jack’s hands and disentangled their fingers. Jack thankfully caught on and let go, placing his hands on Kozmotis’ chest instead. Kozmotis reached out and caught hold of Jack’s hips, pulling him forward a bit so he was in easier reach.

He wasted no time making short work of Jack’s belt and opening his trousers so he could pull Jack’s cock free. Even before he could wrap his fingers around Jack’s length, Jack was already whining and squirming for more friction.

It was so very tempting to tease Jack, keep his touches featherlight and see what other enjoyable noises Jack would make and how long it would take for him to start begging. But Jack had been generous with him so Kozmotis decided to grant him the same courtesy.

He gripped Jack firmly, stroking up and down and falling into the rhythm dictated by the seeking movements of Jack’s hips. He hardly had to pump Jack’s cock, Jack was doing most of the work by rutting into Kozmotis’ hand and Jack was close already, Kozmotis could tell by the way Jack was gripping his shirt and how his thrusts were growing erratic.

When Jack came with a shout, Kozmotis tried to catch all of Jack’s come in his hand. Unfortunately his attempt at keeping his uniform clean was ruined when Jack abruptly bucked and Kozmotis gave up the effort, settling for stroking Jack through his orgasm and then just lazily exploring Jack’s length with his fingers now that he had a chance to do so with the desperation out of the way.

His hand was eventually batted away when Jack got too oversensitive. That’s when Kozmotis noted that Jack, somewhat bend over, was still shuddering. He pushed himself up into a sit as much as he could, moving his clean hand to rub Jack’s back.

“Are you alright?”

Jack lifted his head and met Kozmotis’ eyes, looking rather dazed.

“Yeah. That was just- kind of intense.”

“Was it?” Kozmotis couldn’t quite keep the satisfaction from seeping into his voice.

Jack nodded before sagging forward, burying his face against Kozmotis’ neck. Kozmotis held Jack with one arm, awkwardly trying to wipe his other hand off on the sheets. Jack wasn’t being very helpful, practically turning himself into a space whale barnacle with how he wound his limbs around Kozmotis and hung on.

“Lie down again.”

Kozmotis snorted at the command.

“Yes, sir,” he replied in a voice dripping with sarcasm, earning a quiet chuckle from Jack, but he lied back down all the same.

Jack stopped being a limpet, letting go and shifting to make himself comfortable on top of Kozmotis. Kozmotis was fine with staying put for a while, enjoying the sated feeling and marvelling at the wonder that was Jack.

His hand moved idly along Jack’s back, tracing nonsensical patterns. The gesture was entirely automatic, something he’d done many times with his daughter, when he realised what he was doing, Kozmotis’ hand paused at the stab of heartache the reminder caused. Jack tensed, making a noise of discontent, until Kozmotis continued and Jack relaxed under his hand again.

That’s when Kozmotis noticed that Jack was fast asleep.

Clearly Jack hadn’t caught up on his sleep debt enough yet. Deciding that it was sorely needed and thus worth the nightmares, Kozmotis let him sleep. He awkwardly reached between them to get Jack decent again (though trying to buckle Jack’s belt in this position was impossible without disturbing Jack too much so Kozmotis left that alone) and then settled, turning his head to watch the door.

He contemplated the benefits of just staying in the station and never going out again. They could see the door perfectly fine from here and spending the days in bed together, further away from all the noise, would be more enjoyable than being out there where the darkness felt even more tangible, permeating his skin.

It wasn’t feasible though and Kozmotis knew it. The station was very small and spending large amounts of time in here made Kozmotis feel cooped up. Out there by the door there was plenty of space to pace or walk around the docks to stretch his legs. Jack was usually even more restless than he was, he would probably go stir-crazy within a day.

Still, it was kind of a nice scenario to imagine. Just staying in and chasing after pleasure and physical comforts.

Kozmotis let his mind wander while Jack slept on top of him.

He would be there for Jack when he woke from his nightmares.

 

* * *

 

Although Kozmotis’ little fantasy of never leaving the station again wasn’t entirely realised, they did spend more time in there and they were more apt to indulge in physical needs. They were both less hesitant in initiating and quick to resort to it as a distraction when noticing the other was having a hard time.

In none of their sexual encounters did they ever get fully undressed. At the most trousers were tugged down just enough to expose what truly needed to be exposed, but otherwise they stuck to the unspoken rule of ‘clothes on’. It didn’t take anything away from the experiences. If anything, it sometimes made it all the more intense. Like the one memorable occasion where Kozmotis had ended up bending Jack over the bed and grinding against his ass. He wasn’t going to forget that one any time soon.

It wasn’t always for the comfort of it either. Jack had no problems using their growing physical familiarity with each other for his own devious purposes. Such as making sure Kozmotis kept losing the games they continued to play by being extremely distracting. His favourite way of distracting Kozmotis had developed one day while they were sitting on the ground playing cards and Jack had shoved his foot against Kozmotis’ crotch.

He walked around barefoot most of the time, a habit Jack had even back aboard his flagship and had seemingly never lost, and although Kozmotis had kicked off his boots to retaliate, Jack was a lot more nimble with his toes and Kozmotis had lost despite his valiant efforts.

It was a weird kind of camaraderie they developed on top of the closeness they already had.

Ultimately it started to make Kozmotis wonder about their relationship more and more. That it was unconventional and born out of desperation was certain, but to say it was only about sexual gratification was wrong. It was more than that. Kozmotis just couldn’t figure out _what_ exactly and he was starting to feel guilty about it because he still loved his wife too and that would never stop. There were feelings involved on Jack’s part, that had been made obvious from the start, Kozmotis just had no idea how he himself felt.

Yes, Jack was very attractive—he’d always thought so, anyone who didn’t see that was blind—and Kozmotis had started desiring him after their first sexual encounter. And of course he liked Jack, that had been the very reason he’d chosen Jack to come aboard his ship in the first place. He even dared to think that he loved Jack after everything they had gone through. He just didn’t know what kind of love it was. Their circumstances in which their odd relationship had come to be were so vastly different from how he and his wife had come together, he couldn’t compare them.

He’d been head over heels in love with his wife and that had left no doubt in his mind. He’d been completely certain from the start. With Jack it was different, though no less intense in its own way. There was passion between them, but his feelings were a complicated, tangled web that Kozmotis wasn’t sure how to start untangling.

Gradually it was coming to weigh on him and as expected, Jack with his annoyingly perceptive ways eventually noticed.

It was after another good romp that left them lazing on the bed when Jack caught on. Kozmotis was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling and getting lost in thought while Jack was lying beside him, half-draped over Kozmotis’ torso.

“You’re looking troubled again.”

Jack’s face came into view as Jack lifted himself up to peer at him.

“I’m not troubled,” Kozmotis said automatically, reaching up and brushing Jack’s unruly hair out of his face.

Jack did not look impressed at his absent-minded answer, pursing his lips.

“Liar.” Jack poked his nose in retribution for his dishonesty, avoiding Kozmotis’ hand when he tried swatting Jack’s finger away. “You’ve been looking like that every time we … do stuff.”

“ _Stuff_ ,” Kozmotis repeated, deadpan.

A flick to his forehead was his next punishment for daring to mock Jack’s eloquence.

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

Jack sat up properly, his expression turning more serious as he regarded Kozmotis with an unfathomable look. Kozmotis could feel another Talk coming on. He hated them even though they usually helped to work things out for the better, they still remained uncomfortable.

“Tell me what’s wrong, please?”

Kozmotis sighed and took a deep breath, moving to sit up to stretch for more time as he tried to think of how to start, staring at his own hands. There wasn’t any subtle way to try and lead into it that he could think of, so he simply threw it out there.

“I still love my wife.”

There. He said it.

“Of course you do.”

That … was not the reply he’d been expecting even though he hadn’t been expecting anything.

He glanced up to see Jack giving him his patented ‘ _my captain is an idiot, please excuse him_ ’ look that had been a popular one during the campaign. Kozmotis frowned.

“What, did you think I would expect you to stop? That I would ask that of you?” There was something like hurt briefly flickering across Jack’s expression. “I would never, Koz.”

Kozmotis grabbed Jack’s hand, squeezing it gratefully and feeling rather silly for having fretted. Jack continued while Kozmotis was still grasping for words.

“I know I’ll never replace her and what we have is, well, different.”

Kozmotis nodded, adding, “I feel it’s … complicated.”

Jack’s expression did something interesting, turning unreadable again as Jack adopted a casual air and shrugged his shoulders.

“It doesn’t have to be. It could just be a bit of fun.”

Kozmotis recognised it for what it was: Jack’s insecurities showing. Jack was predictable in the ways he tried to cover his vulnerabilities, always pretending that it didn’t matter to him when it did, hiding behind a casual facade and the guise of fun. Some things never changed.

“It’s _not_. It’s more than that.” The vehemency in Kozmotis’ voice surprised even himself. Jack blinked at him, startled, then ducked his head.

Despite Jack’s attempt at hiding it, Kozmotis could see the small pleased smile painted on Jack’s lips. He ran his thumb along the back of Jack’s hand, the gesture meant to reassure Jack and yet he felt just as reassured by it.

“We’ll figure this out,” Jack said, meeting his gaze with warm, fond smile.

In that moment, Kozmotis felt that was true. After all …

“We certainly have all the time in the world,” he remarked humorously with a flippant hand motion indicating outside.

Jack laughed, a sound that had become more precious and rare ever since he joined Kozmotis’ side in this horrid place. Kozmotis felt lighter for hearing it and having had this talk. As far as their talks went, this wasn’t a bad one. Jack hadn’t asked him how he felt about him nor did he have any adverse reactions, instead he was patient and unusually wise beyond his years.

One of these days Kozmotis was going to have to take Jack’s mirror and ask his sister—Mary—to thank their mother for raising such an incredible young man.

For now Kozmotis settled on showing his deep gratitude by drawing Jack in for a long, thorough kiss.

Maybe he was thinking of taking this further, that he was finally ready.

Just maybe ... he was considering going home with Jack.


	7. Message in a Dream

Technically not a whole lot changed. The days were still blending together, the noise of the prisoners was an ever-present constant and their oppressive surroundings were taking their toll on the both of them and it became obvious in their appearances. Gaunter faces, dark circles under eyes that would have been startling to see were they not used to it already, bodies that appeared to grow thinner by day. The nightmares were getting worse, enough to disrupt their sleep and make the circles under their eyes more pronounced. Jack smiled and played games less, growing more withdrawn as did Kozmotis. He didn’t even talk to his sister much anymore, not wanting to shock her with his appearance.

Still, Kozmotis felt it was more bearable with Jack by his side even if they just stood together in silence.

A lethargy had taken hold of them that made it so they did not even seek out bodily comfort as often anymore. They were too exhausted to do anything other than hold hands or lean against each other, the sleep-deprivation not doing either of them any good in that department.

Kozmotis wanted to leave. Wanted to use the emergency line to ask for the Moonbots to be sent back or something else to be thought up so he and Jack could go.

He thought he was ready and he wouldn’t be doing this just on Jack’s behalf.

But he wasn’t entirely certain when his feelings were such fickle things and he was afraid Jack would notice any bit of uncertainty and refuse and then not believe him the next time Kozmotis said he was ready to go.

That wasn’t his only fear or doubt or dark thought.

As much he thought the drone of whispers and mutters no longer affected him and he could ignore them perfectly fine even when they were using his daughter’s voice, it wasn’t true. The noise _was_ getting to him, but in a slow, insidious way that took a while for Kozmotis to notice.

He was growing more fearful and paranoid and that too was keeping him from leaving.

The most terrible thought that occurred to him was the fear that, as soon as they got back, Jack would have no reason stay with him and would leave for greener pastures and he would be right to do so after what Kozmotis has made him suffer through. Out here Jack had no choice but to stay with him. (Which wasn’t entirely true, they had an emergency collapsable schooner that could be used to leave and Jack could easily use that to escape whenever Kozmotis was sleeping, but fear worked in weird, illogical ways.)

He felt terrible for his treacherous thoughts, yet they couldn’t be stopped. They crawled into his mind like spidery creatures that weaved a web of darkness through which everything was filtered, skewing his perception.

Kozmotis was trying to figure out where the dark influence and paranoia began and his own thoughts and feelings started. He needed to be certain before he could convince Jack.

Although maybe Jack was desperate enough to just leave regardless of Kozmotis’ sincerity. Especially when the nightmares started turning into night terrors.

The first time Jack had one, Kozmotis had been terrified when Jack would not wake up no matter how hard Kozmotis shook him. He’d eventually woken up on his own, crying and trembling, and it had taken a long while of Kozmotis holding him for him to stop, after which he’d begged Kozmotis for a distraction and Kozmotis had to muster all his energy to provide Jack one.

Supposedly the dark creatures couldn’t feed on their nightmares from beyond the door.

Kozmotis was starting to have strong doubts about that.

This place was truly getting to them and he wondered how long it would take before he and Jack were turned into wisps of their former selves. Perhaps they would turn into Fearlings themselves.

That thought, irrational as it was, was the most frightening. It threatened everything that he had worked so hard for and Jack’s sacrifice of coming out to stand guard with him. He couldn’t allow that to happen. They needed to go.

He was about to propose the idea to Jack when he found out he could not string a coherent sentence together. His tongue was like cotton in his mouth, his throat as parched as the desert planet Venus. Kozmotis realised he was in dire need of sleep again.

He should go and get as much sleep as possible and then, hopefully with a slightly clearer mind and better working vocal cords, he could try convincing Jack.

With his mind made up, he took Jack by the hand (not wanting to leave him out alone by the door) and took him with him as he retired to the guard’s station. One longing look at the bed was all it took for Jack to understand what Kozmotis needed.

Kozmotis was about to lie down after Jack seated himself on the bed when Jack crooked his finger at him, then patted his own lap. By now these little gestures were all they needed to communicate with each other. With a faint smile Kozmotis shifted and lied down, his head on Jack’s lap.

Jack instantly started running his fingers through Kozmotis’ hair, idly stroking and playing with it. Jack started humming a tune that Kozmotis only vaguely recognised. It invoked a distant sense of nostalgia and he was quickly ushered into unconsciousness by the soothing touch and sound of the melody.

He fell asleep.

And then the most extraordinary thing happened: he dreamed.

 

* * *

 

Kozmotis instantly realised he was not having a nightmare, the differences were too stark. First off, he was vividly conscious of everything, not caught up in mindless panic and fear that made everything murky and terrifying for no reason. Secondly, it was vibrant and full of colours. His nightmares were always painted in dark, muted hues just like how the prison planet was perceived.

To see so much colour after so long was like a shock to his system. Had the world always been this _bright?_

Kozmotis was standing in a field of Lunar flowers in full bloom, their ethereal glow lighting up the ground and their glowing pollen creating dancing lights in the air. It was familiar scenery and Kozmotis remembered why it was so familiar when he turned around and saw a building he would recognise anywhere. His home.

His villa in full glory, unscathed and looking more beautiful than Kozmotis remembered it.

He held his breath and waited for a catch for surely this had to be some trick. Any moment now the villa would go up in flames and he’d be thrown back into a nightmare.

A moment passed. Then another.

Nothing happened.

Kozmotis slowly exhaled as he took a tentative step forward. The flowers he brushed against glowed a little brighter as they always did when touched. A gentle wind caressed his face and made the pollen dance higher. The sweet smell of the flowers was so distinct and real it nearly overwhelmed him.

Still nothing happened. The scenery stayed tranquil and undisturbed.

Kozmotis remained distrustful and wary. After so much misery, this was too good to be true. He was glancing around for any spot of darkness, any hint that would reveal that this was not a dream but a nightmare in disguise and he was being lulled into a twisted sense of security until a soothing voice suddenly spoke up. It seemed to come from inside his head as well as everywhere around him.

 

 

_’It’s alright, have no fear.’_

 

The voice brought with it a blanket of calm and a sense of trust. Whoever the speaker was, Kozmotis knew irrevocably that they could be trusted. He relaxed, all tension and doubt melting away, leaving him feeling more at peace than he had in many years.

When he spoke, it was with the calm certainty that he’d always held in his voice as a General at the beginning of his career, before he’d lost his family.

In this dream, he felt like his old long forgotten self.

“Who are you?”   

 

_’I am Sanderson Mansnoozie. A Star Captain.’_

 

A Star Captain. That explained a lot. If his apprehension hadn’t already left him, it would certainly do so at hearing that. He’d met the cheerful men of the League of Star Captains before and they were always welcome company - if not highly sought after by those who wanted wishes granted.

Speaking of …

“Are you here to grant a wish?”

Kozmotis did not remember making any wishes, but there was no other reason a Star Captain would approach him so personally in a dream that Kozmotis could think of. 

 

_'Yes, indeed. I’m here to grant Emily Jane’s wish.'_

 

Before he could recover from his shock and tell the good Star Captain that his daughter was long dead, his awareness dimmed and he was plunged further into the dream.

Events unfolded before him and Kozmotis came along for the ride. It was like watching a picture show while caught between awareness and unconsciousness.

Which was the reason why he did not recognise the young girl with too much hair whom he was following in the dream, but he did feel as if this child was of grave importance. He watched as the girl snuck out of her house at night to sail a schooner among the Star Fish and her home got attacked soon after. He saw it all from where the girl was standing on her schooner. It was a dreadful sight to see, turned even more ghastly as a figure fell from one of the windows, though Kozmotis could feel nothing but a serene calm.

He dreamt the girl’s entire journey. How she ended up in the care of an old Constellation, how the years passed and she grew so resentful she eventually turned into a shooting star as a curse for her blind rage. It was a story of a child lost, a child waiting and growing even more lost.

But there was hope.

The story kept unfolding, and the girl-turned-shooting-star found someone—a Star Captain— who could temper her, who wanted to help, who kept her from turning into a sun when she stopped moving. The dream ended just as the girl revealed her name to the Star Captain. The name resounded in his head like the tolling of a crystal bell. 

 

 

_Emily Jane._

 

* * *

 

Kozmotis woke with a laugh of amazement. The dream felt distant and unreal now as all dreams did upon waking, but he knew the dream to be true. He didn’t know how he knew, he simply did and the conviction was invigorating.

Jack was staring down at him as though he’d gone mad. Usually when they awoke it was with gasps or screams, so Kozmotis supposed he probably did look insane. It didn’t matter.

He reached up and took Jack’s face in his hands, beaming up at him with unadulterated joy that brought tears to his eyes.

“She’s _alive!_ ” He exclaimed, laughing still.

It took him a moment to contain his ecstatic joy and gain enough composure to tell a bewildered Jack what he dreamed of. Jack was skeptic at first though Kozmotis’ bright excitement soon worked infectiously. Jack knew just as well as Kozmotis did that no hopeful or even regular dreams occurred when sleeping so near the prison.

It didn’t take long until Jack was grinning back at him, the both of them clutching each other’s hands so tight it was painful.

“You should go. Go find her.”

More than anything, Kozmotis wanted to so he could tell her that he’d thought her dead all this time and soothe her anger away with that misunderstanding cleared. But he couldn’t leave. It would mean leaving Jack behind because someone had to stay to stand guard and the thought of doing that was unacceptable.

His joy was gone, his heart suddenly torn with the desire to rush off to find his daughter and staying by Jack’s side. Emily Jane had been hurting for so long and what parent could stand the thought of letting their child hurt one day- no, one _second_ longer? Kozmotis couldn’t and neither could he stomach the thought of leaving Jack in this place.

It was an impossible choice.

“No, Jack. I can’t leave you here alone. We can call for back up-”

“And wait? No, you’re going,” Jack said firmly, placing his hands on Kozmotis’ cheeks and trying to smooth away the distress on his face with gentle fingers. “She needs you more than I do. I got to have you for ten years, now it’s her turn.”

The joke got a helpless smile out of Kozmotis, but he shook his head. Jack cut in before he could argue.

“Besides, I’m not alone. I can talk to my sister, remember?”

“... Promise me. Promise me you’ll talk to her,” Kozmotis ground out with reluctance and a heavy heart. Having someone to talk to was what had kept them sane, it was important that Jack continued to have that.

“I promise. I will and I’ll go call for back-up, okay? So hey, maybe if they’re fast enough I can follow you and see you on the other side.”

Jack’s eyes were shining with tears as Kozmotis studied his face with a pained expression.

“If you don’t go now, I’ll never forgive you,” Jack choked out.

Kozmotis gave in, resting his forehead against Jack’s as he breathed shakily, gathering his resolve.

“If they’re not fast enough, I’ll come back for you.”

“I know you will.”

Jack’s voice was filled with confidence and trust, making it even harder to leave. He clung to Jack a moment longer, kissing him hard and desperate until Jack tore himself away to insist he leave.

That the kiss felt like goodbye was a feeling Kozmotis tried his best to ignore because it _wasn’t_. He was going to see Jack again as soon as possible once he found his daughter again. The sense of foreboding was likely a result of his paranoia and what had happened with his family when he’d said goodbye in the past.

Jack helped him set up the schooner and gather a few scarce supplies. Even though everything was said and done, Kozmotis lingered on the dock once he was set to go, the reluctance to leave Jack weighing heavy on his heart and rooting him in place. Jack was having none of it, he distracted Kozmotis with another bittersweet kiss before physically pushing him into the schooner.

“I’ll be okay, _I promise._ Just go and give Emily Jane a big hug for me. If I don’t make it back before you, you can ask Mary for the mirror.”

Kozmotis watched the forced smile on Jack’s face, a pained expression still on his own face.

“Jack, I … ”

There were words he wanted to say, important words that were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t quite get himself to say them. If he did, he wasn’t sure if he could get himself to leave. Kozmotis faltered.

Jack’s smile eased a little into something more genuine, understanding instantly.

“I know.”

Although Kozmotis wanted to say the words all the more for it, Jack’s easy understanding made him feel a fraction lighter. In the end that Jack knew was all that mattered so he nodded, smiling gratefully.

“I’ll see you soon,” Kozmotis said the words with an unspoken promise. One way or the other, he would see Jack again as soon as possible, even if he had to come back and fetch him himself.

Not allowing himself to hesitate any longer, he gave Jack a final smile and cast off.

Jack was running to the edge of the dock to wave Kozmotis off, entirely unaware of the silvery round object falling from his pocket until the sound of a shattering mirror reached his ears. By then Kozmotis had already turned around and moved to the front of the schooner, completely oblivious. His mind was filled with thoughts of reuniting with his daughter. That, and Kozmotis hadn’t realised how much he missed sailing until he cast off and the stellar winds seemed to greet him with open arms, filling his sails.

He set course for the nearest planet where he could replace the schooner with a better ship that would get him to Zeus where he could fetch his flagship, the fastest ship in the entire Galaxy. The dream had left him with a notion of where to find Sanderson Mansnoozie and Emily Jane, he only needed the fastest way to get there.

The schooner was too slow, relying too heavily on the winds and it made the trip to the nearest planet rather frustrating. Once he had been capable of great patience, now that ability seemed lost. It was a great relief when, after days of drifting on winds, he finally got to a civilised planet.

The further he got away from the prison, the more he felt like he was stepping into a dream again. Everything was vibrant and rich in colours, seeming so much more lively. Kozmotis gave himself no time to marvel at any of it or to even wonder how long it’s been since he’d been standing guard at the prison.

It turned out that it wasn’t long enough for the people to forget who he was and that was enough for him to know to be satisfied. The monarchs of the planet were happy and eager to help him once he explained what was going on and that the prison wasn’t left unguarded. He was given the fastest ship they had (insisting it was fine when Kozmotis tried to promise he would bring it back) and his journey sped up considerably.

The journey to Zeus would still take some time, but now Kozmotis got to re-experience the rush of going as fast as possible on a hardier ship than the schooner. He’d loved sailing, he always had and it was a love he had passed on to his daughter. Sadly it was a love he’d forgotten during the war and it seemed to come back to him now. Either because of how long he’d been deprived of sailing and stuck in one place or because of the return of his lost daughter.

He couldn’t entirely enjoy the exhilaration though, not with the knowledge that Jack was back at the prison. He needed to be as fast as possible for Jack’s sake as well. Once he had both Emily Jane and Jack by his side _then_ he could truly enjoy sailing, possibly they could go do so together. It was a daydream that hurried Kozmotis on.

It wasn’t likely that it would become a reality very soon for there was also the matter of Emily Jane being trapped inside a star. It was something to worry about later though, at the moment finding her was what most important. Kozmotis was confident that they would figure out how to get her free.

For the first time since he’d lost his family, Kozmotis had hope again.

 

* * *

 

Back at the prison planet, a mirror had broken and Jack was alone.

Until a young girl’s voice cried out.

“ _Jack, I’m scared._ ”


	8. Reunions and Catastrophes

There was understandably a lot of confusion when people saw him arrive back in the Constellation Zeus. Kozmotis was trying to explain that there was nothing to fear—no, nothing had happened at the prison—as he wormed his way through the crowded docks to get to where he needed to go and find someone who could get him to his ship.

Fortunately that someone came to him.

Less fortunate was that they announced themselves by punching Kozmotis in the face out of nowhere hard enough to send him sprawling. People scrambled out of the way, gasping in shock, forming a semicircle so that when Kozmotis looked up, he could instantly see who the culprit was.

“I can’t believe you,” Caelem was fuming, rubbing the knuckles of one hand with an absolutely livid expression on his face. He was donning the outfit of the royal guard, looking more dashing than ever.

When Kozmotis moved to push himself up, Caelem stepped forward and looked as though he would tackle Kozmotis down again the moment he got up. Kozmotis wisely decided to stay put, half propped up on his elbows and still rather reeling from the impact.

“Caelem, I’m sorry.” Kozmotis tried to put as much feeling and genuinity in his words as he could muster to try and diffuse the tension and placate his old friend. Caelem had every right to be upset and Kozmotis understood that. They had been friends since their Academy days and he’d left with nothing but a measly letter for him. He deserved Caelem’s anger and he knew he’d been selfish.

“Yeah, _you better be_ ,” Caelem said with vehemence, though his expression was softening.

For a good moment they merely stared at each other. Kozmotis could see the anger gradually seeping out of Caelem until eventually Caelem rolled his eyes and offered his hand.

“You complete idiot.”

Kozmotis smiled at the insult, accepting Caelem’s hand after which he was hauled to his feet and promptly pulled into a one-armed hug, Caelem still clutching his hand tight with the other. Kozmotis leaned into it gratefully, realising that he’d been missing not just sailing, but a lot more than he thought.

When he pulled back, the smile he managed was warm, albeit tired.

“You look good.”

Caelem grinned at the compliment then looked him up and down pointedly.

“I can’t say the same about you.”

The sounds of people starting to shuffle along on their away again reminded Kozmotis they were making quite a public scene. He grimaced, letting go of Caelem who suddenly seemed distracted. He was glancing over Kozmotis’ shoulder expectantly.

Kozmotis didn’t understand why, a quick glance behind him told him there was nothing out of the ordinary, until Caelem looked back at him with obvious confusion.

“Where’s Jack?”

The question made dread curl in his stomach instantaneously. If Caelem was with the royal guard and he hadn’t heard anything …

“You haven’t received a message from him?”

Caelem shook his head, his puzzled frown mirroring Kozmotis’ own.

Kozmotis took a deep breath, reminding himself that it didn’t have to mean anything. Maybe Caelem just hadn’t heard. He would simply have to go and check.

“He’s still at the prison.”

Caelem’s eyes widened and Kozmotis stopped him before he could give voice to the indignation and horror that appeared on his face. He started walking again, beckoning Caelem to follow.

“Come on, I will explain everything to you.”

And he did.

Caelem was as joyful as he and Jack had been, only their joy was dampened by the fact there had been no word from Jack. Caelem told him no one had left for the prison planet as far as he knew and the horrible feeling in Kozmotis’ gut would not leave.

It only got worse.

At the headquarters they confirmed that there had been no message from the prison planet at all. Considering it had taken Kozmotis quite some days to get here, it was extremely foreboding. Caelem had to talk him down from a near panic attack and together they decided to check with Jack’s sister and mother to see if they had any news.

As much as he wanted to go search for his daughter, he couldn’t leave in good conscience without knowing what had happened with Jack.

Mary’s surprise at seeing General Kozmotis Pitchiner on her doorstep was all too telling. He would have turned around to run back to the docks if Caelem hadn’t caught him by the arm and pulled him inside. Jack’s family deserved answers.

He was a ball of anxiety seated across from Jack’s sister while Jack’s mother made tea. Mary was even lovelier to see in person though she looked very different from her brother. Brown hair and brown eyes. Compared to Jack, she seemed plain, but she was a beautiful young woman all the same.

She explained to Kozmotis, growing as anxious as he, that she hadn’t heard from Jack in a good while. In turn Kozmotis explained what had happened and why he was here instead of with Jack, trying his best to keep a calm composure as he stared at his tea. Mary saw right through him for she kept sharing worried looks with him. Neither Jack’s sister nor mother looked accusing even if they had every right to in Kozmotis opinion. He never should have left Jack.

He left Jack’s family with promises to find out what happened to him and he had every intention to do exactly that. He was already rushing back toward the docks with Caelem darting after him.

“Kozmotis, wait! Hold on-”

Caelem caught him by the elbow, jerking him to a halt.

“I need to get back.” Kozmotis didn’t resist and stopped in his tracks, though his entire body was tensed and thrumming under Caelem’s hand. His voice was tight, face drawn. There was a terrible sense of dread consuming him. Jack had promised him and for all the trouble and disobedience he’d shown in the past, Jack was reliable and trustworthy when it mattered. That he hadn’t kept his promise to Kozmotis to keep in touch with his sister and to call for backup meant that something had gone horribly wrong.

“Yeah, but what about your daughter?”

The question tore into Kozmotis. The choice too impossible to make.

“Caelem, I-”

“I’ll go,” Caelem declared, eyes resolute and smile winning. “You go find your daughter and I’ll take some men with me and we’ll check out the prison.”

Kozmotis wanted to go to the prison himself, but if anyone could be trusted with finding Jack (and who Kozmotis trusted with his own life as well as his family’s), it was Caelem. He’d been Kozmotis’ second-in-command for good reason. With a pained expression, he nodded reluctantly.

“Don’t worry,” Caelem said, squeezing his arm reassuringly. “We’ll find him.”

There was one thing Kozmotis _could_ do to help Jack.

“Take my old ship.”

Caelem’s eyes widened almost comically. “But-”

“Take it. It’s the fastest and this matter is more pressing than mine,” Kozmotis insisted. It would likely be better if he took a smaller ship he could steer on his own anyway. He might as well stick to the one he was given.

“Alright … ” Caelem nodded solemnly, letting go of Kozmotis and moving to turn around.

“And Caelem?”

Kozmotis’ words halted him, making Caelem glance back to him over his shoulder. Kozmotis fixed him with a grave look. “Be careful.”

“Have you known me to be anything else?” Caelem’s charming grin was nearly blindingly bright.

Kozmotis didn’t dignify that with a response (they both knew the answer was a resounding ‘ _yes_ ’), his lips were pulled in a fond smile as he shook his head in mock exasperation. They shared one last look—the kind lifelong friends had that conveyed more than words ever could, Kozmotis was relieved they still had that after everything—and then parted ways.

Caelem ran one way, presumably to wherever his flagship was kept now, and Kozmotis ran back to the docks as fast as his legs would carry him to get back to the gifted ship.

The sooner he found Emily Jane, the sooner he could get back and go find Jack.

 

* * *

 

Some more supplies loaded by the generous merchants present on the docks (all too eager to help the ‘savior of the Golden Age’) later and Kozmotis was on his way again. All enjoyment of sailing was gone, he was only urged on by a strong sense of urgency and premonition. There was no time to do anything other than sail straight on for his destination, not even sleep. Kozmotis ate only to keep his strength up—the foreboding feeling told him he would need it—while barely leaving the ship’s wheel. He sailed as fast as the small ship could possibly go.

It didn’t help that he only had a vague sense of where to go. He knew he needed to trust it like he’d trusted the dream to be true, that was the point, but not knowing where exactly to go made it frustrating. There were no courses to chart, just a dream to chase after and a feeling he had to rely on to see if he was going in the right direction. It was a hard thing to do when he was so used to sailing in logical ways. For all he knew, he could be sailing throughout the entire galaxy for who knows how long to find his long lost daughter and he couldn’t afford to waste so much time.

No, that kind of thinking wouldn’t do.

He had to _believe_ he was going the right way.

But the more days passed, the harder believing became. It was difficult to hold on to hope and positive thinking when the Fearling influence still seemed to darken his thoughts even though he was no longer anywhere near the prison. He’d been exposed for so long that negative thinking was as first nature to him. He had to be careful not to give in to despair.

So it was fortunate that, when he came close to doing so, a shooting star came his way.

Sanderson Mansnoozie had come to meet him halfway.

The star slowed down as it neared and Kozmotis could only stare in a mixture of awe and disbelief, letting his own ship slow. _It was real._ He could hardly believe it. He watched as the star went past and then doubled back, coming to drift alongside his ship. Slowly, feeling as though he were captured in a dream again, Kozmotis pulled away from the wheel and his feet carried him over to the side of the ship.

Sanderson Mansnoozie smiled warmly at him, waving from his cabin. Kozmotis inclined his head in a respectful greeting automatically before glancing to the star—his _daughter_ was in there—and then back to Sanderson with questioning eyes. Sanderson nodded encouragingly and something about the Star Captain’s presence made him feel less nervous. He took a step forward, leaving him pressed against the railing of the ship, his hand outstretched. Very tentatively Kozmotis put his hand on the star, feeling warm sand shift under his fingers.

He was so overwhelmed by the multitude of emotions that vied for his attention, it took him a moment to find his voice and even when he did, it was naught but a small, hopeful whisper.

“Emily Jane?”

It was silent long enough for Kozmotis to start feeling foolish, to feel the suspicion that maybe he was being tricked.

But then he heard it. A soft voice coming from inside the star.

“Father?”

The sound of that voice, changed yet unmistakable, brought tears to Kozmotis’ eyes. In less than a blink of an eye, he’d lost all reserve and pressed both hands as well as his face against the sandy surface of the star. He wanted nothing more than to reach right through and pull his daughter out for a proper embrace.

Perhaps Sanderson had already explained the misunderstanding for she sounded calm, if not just as hopeful as him.

“Oh, _sweetheart_ ,” he choked out between heaving breaths, nearly losing his voice again as the emotions made his heart swell impossibly. He had to keep talking. Even if Sanderson had told Emily Jane already, it was important that she heard it from his own mouth. She had to know.

So he kept talking, even though his voice turned terribly hoarse as it broke.

“I’m so sorry, I thought you were dead. They told me you were. I didn’t know you’d escaped. If I had, I would have-” His throat constricted too much to continue, Kozmotis had to swallow back sobs to manage a few more words. “ _I’m so sorry._ ”

If only he’d known, he would have saved her so much sorrow and anger. He never should have believed the Dream Pirate Captain’s words back then. He felt as wretchedly guilty as he did joyful in this moment.

The thought was wiped away the moment Emily Jane spoke again.

“Daddy, I’m sorry.”

His heart broke at her lost tone and the use of a word he hadn’t heard in a decade. His response was practically instinctive as he pressed himself against the star as much as possible, willing himself to become part of it if it meant getting to hold his daughter again.

“Shhh, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologise for. It’s going to be alright.”

The spots where his hands were placed suddenly felt warmer and Kozmotis imagined Emily Jane’s hands must be pressed against the other side. The barrier between them felt maddening, it gave rise to anger and desperation.

The frustration was gently soothed when something touched the back of his hand. Kozmotis glanced up, seeing through a blurry vision that Sanderson was leaning out of his cabin, his hand placed on top of Kozmotis’, a comforting smile on his face. Sanderson’s manner was blissful and soothing. It was no wonder the Star Captains were such sought after company

Kozmotis mouthed an earnest ‘ _thank you_ ’, wishing he could convey the depth of his gratitude in some way that was actually sufficient. Sanderson’s smile merely widened and the Star Captain nodded. It was clear he understood even without the words.

He pressed his face back against the star, inhaling deeply as though he could smell her again from inside. His imagination filled the lack of actual scent in with the smell of Lunar flowers. She'd often smelled of them after running through the gardens, a second favourite past time after sailing her small schooner.

A silence fell despite the fact he felt like there was so much to tell her, so much to catch up on. But the silence was profound and necessary in its own way, until Kozmotis eventually broke it after regaining his composure, Sanderson's calming presence helping a great deal in achieving that.

“You know, when I said you were a star, I didn’t mean it quite so literally.”

There was a pause and then a laugh resounded from inside. The sound was like the feeling of coming home after being gone for a very, very long time. It lifted Kozmotis' heart and it made a heavy weight he didn't know was there disappear from his shoulders.

If his baby girl could still laugh, then all would be well.

Sanderson patted his hand in approval and Kozmotis flashed him a quick smile.

It was easier to talk after that, though the conversation started a little haltingly and awkwardly. He told her of the things he'd seen during his travels across the entire galaxy, beautiful sights he'd seen that reminded him of her and that he'd always remembered in a bittersweet way. Places she would love and he would have loved to take her.

In turn, Emily Jane slowly started to tell him her story of what happened. Although it was something Kozmotis already knew thanks to Sanderson's dream, he listened carefully all the same. The both of them avoided talking about events that were too unpleasant to mention. Heavy talks could wait until later, right now they simply enjoyed their reunion in which old hurts were soothed bit by bit. At some point, Kozmotis came to talk about his crew and how they were faring.

"Jack told me to give you a big hug. He never stopped missing you either."

The thought brought a smile to his face until Emily Jane spoke.

"How is he?"

"I- I don't know. I fear something terrible has happened. We were standing guard at the prison together, but he insisted I go find you. He was supposed to call for back-up and he never did... " Kozmotis faltered as the deep dread slithered its way back inside his heart.

"Then we must hurry back."

Emily Jane's voice sounded resolute, a clear determination in it that allowed for no denial. Kozmotis couldn't help but feel impossibly fond of her. For everything that had happened to her, all the sorrows she'd had to endure, there were parts of her that hadn't changed at all. Headstrong and caring in her own way, the Emily Jane he remembered.

"I agree," he said, finally detaching himself from the star to frown at it. "But we should get you out of here as well."

Sanderson removed his hand, reminding Kozmotis of his presence. He quickly looked to the Star Captain, expression apologetic and sheepish.

"Although I would hate to deprive a Star Captain from his star."

Sanderson shook his head cheerfully, utterly unbothered by the thought. His smile told Kozmotis that he wanted Emily Jane to be free - it was her wish he was granting after all. Kozmotis nodded his understanding just as his daughter spoke up.

"It can wait. We have to help Jack. Let's go, Father."

Her stern tone that strongly discouraged any and all arguments reminded Kozmotis so strongly of his wife, that he gave in instantly. She'd inherited his own stubbornness and Kozmotis knew that she'd grown up to as fierce a woman as her mother had been. Not to mention that he was worried sick about Jack as well.

"Alright, let's."

As terrible as it was to cut their reunion short, there were more important matters to think of. If something had happened to Jack and the doors to the prison had been opened ... Kozmotis shuddered to think of it.

Under Sanderson's gestured instructions, Kozmotis tied his ship to the star. He actually had to grab hold of a banister when Emily Jane started moving and gaining speed rapidly. Like this, they would be back in Zeus in no time. A star moved far faster than any ship alone could and Emily Jane had to be the fastest star there ever was. It made Kozmotis feel a sense of pride though it was overshadowed by the uncertainty of the current situation. He'd always been known to be fearless, but now Kozmotis was very afraid. Afraid of what might have happened to Jack.

After only just regaining his lost daughter, he couldn't lose Jack too.

 

* * *

 

 

They reached Zeus in far less time than it took for Kozmotis to find Sanderson and his star. Kozmotis was more than glad for the hasty speed. He reluctantly had to leave Sanderson with Emiy Jane, orbiting around the planet while he went to get information on what happened.

He came back to a planet that was in a state of chaotic panic the likes Kozmotis hadn't seen since during the height of the war. It told him enough of what had happened. His worst fears must have been realised. Suppressing the gut-churning dread, Kozmotis rushed to the headquarters. If he thought the civilians were chaotic, the military was even more so. There was action everywhere he looked, soldiers rushing back and forth, orders being yelled out, calls for evacuation spread around.

Worst of all, there were wounded being carried to the hospital wing.

Kozmotis moved swiftly to find the nearest commanding officer. Blindly grabbing one by the arm to keep them—her, it turned out—from hurrying past.

The officer startled, turning with an expression of irritation until she saw who it was that had caught her by the arm. The sudden relief was plain on the officer’s face, it was almost painful to see considering he had no idea what was going and thus could not justify that look of deep relief.

“Lord Pitch-”

Kozmotis let go of her now that he was assured he’d caught her full attention, immediately launching into the matter at hand after acknowledging her salute with a quick nod.

“What happened?”

Briefly she looked taken aback by the fact he didn’t know and she was the one who had to fill him in. It didn’t last long before the surprise was replaced with a grim expression.

“They got out.”

It was true. The thing he’d feared most had come to pass.

She paused, giving him a sympathetic look as the horror of it all sunk in, waiting politely for him to get past his shock and nod at her to continue. It was clear from her demeanour that there was more bad news to be had.

“I’m afraid your ship has been taken, only a few of those on board managed to escape and they’re in bad shape.” She gestured in the direction of the hospital wing. “No one is really sure what happened.”

_Caelem._

And Stars, what of Jack?

“Thank you,” he said numbly, moving past the officer to move to the hospital wing as fast as possible without breaking into a run in the hallways. His heart was beating in his throat, threatening to choke him with his fear.

He wished with all his might that Caelem and Jack were alright. That they were in the hospital wing and they would recover.

_They had to be alright._

If not, it would be all his fault.

He was starting to be noticed by more of the officers, heads turning as he rushed past. Kozmotis paid them no attention, his thoughts too consumed by the desperate wishes he was making in his head. He all but burst into the hospital wing, face rigid.

There were a few officers laid out on the beds, all seemingly sleeping or unconscious. Kozmotis strode forward to where a doctor and some nurses were gathered, glancing at the officers as he went past. A few he recognised as having served in his fleet and all of them had something in common.

There were obvious wounds inflicted on them, only there was an inky blackness oozing from the wounds like dark smoke instead of blood. All their faces looked drawn and pale as though they were asleep and suffering from terrible nightmares.

One familiar face made Kozmotis stop and stare in horror.

“Caelem.”

The name slipped past his lips without Kozmotis even noticing and when his body started moving again, he was walking toward his friend without being fully aware of it. It was only when he was reaching out to touch Caelem’s face and something stopped his hand that he realised what he was doing.

The doctor had grabbed his hand, shaking her head at him when he glanced up at her.

He withdrew his hand and straightened, putting his old military composure back in place.

“What happened to them?”

“We’re not sure. When they arrived, most were already unconscious and the few that weren’t … well, they weren’t very coherent. They eventually fell unconscious as well and we haven’t been able to wake them since.”

Kozmotis shoved all emotion aside as best as he could to appear the professional General he was supposed to be, leaning down slightly to study the wound carved across Caelem’s chest. The black smoke looked familiar, Kozmotis had seen it before.

“Fearling possession?” He questioned, looking back to the doctor.

She shook her head again.

“No. It seems to work more like an infection of sorts.”

That did not bode well at all. The only upside was that there was at least some hope for recovery. That would not be the case if it were possession. No cure had ever been found and those afflicted were doomed to become Fearlings themselves.

He longed to reach out and touch Caelem if only so he could be certain that his friend was alive, he looked so pale he appeared dead, but the doctor still had her eyes on him. He looked at her with the hint of a plea in his eyes.

“We’re doing everything we can to figure this out, Lord Pitch.”

Kozmotis nodded and momentarily diverted his gaze, scanning the other beds to see who else was brought in. No one else he was very familiar with.

He had his answer from just that and yet he still had to ask.

“Was a white-haired young man brought in?”

The doctor’s expression turned sympathetic. That alone said enough.

“No, I’m sorry.”

This was exactly like losing his family all over again.

With effort he kept his breathing even, his demeanour composed.

“Thank you, doctor. Please take care of these men and women,” he said as bowed his head. The doctor offered a reassuring smile before Kozmotis turned around, one last look shot at Caelem’s prone form, and then left.

His mind was reeling, his thoughts fractured and scattered. It was hard to think straight with the horrible news he’d received so he focused solely on the things he needed to do. He needed to get back to Sanderson and Emily Jane. He had to find the Tsar and Tsarina. The threat had to be analysed and made clear. For that it would be most helpful if the unconscious officers were healed and woken up from their nightmarish slumber. They needed to find a cure and they needed to do so fast before it was too late.

Setting goals in his mind helped keep his head clear and his emotions at bay. It made it easier to reassure to frantic people that approached him seeking words of comfort from the Lord High General of the Galaxies. Some looked accusing as he passed and Kozmotis avoided those who asked what happened, expecting him to know since he was supposed to be standing guard, citing that he had to find the Lunanoffs immediately. Guilt gnawed at his insides the entire time, stronger than ever.

A few inquiries later and he had some idea of where their royalty might be. With that information, he rushed back to the ship to return to Sanderson and Emily Jane and relay what he’d discovered.

At least their presence helped keep him calm and he managed to keep himself together as he explained what happened.

“Why search for the Tsar and Tsarina?” Emily Jane asked, she’d been quiet during the entire explanation. There was an accusing skepticism to her tone that made Kozmotis want to flinch. Clearly it would take some time for her anger to truly fade.

“They’ll want to come after me and they know the quickest way to do so is to go after those I’m loyal to.”

Kozmotis had no doubt that the prisoners would come for him and he knew how they worked; by going after what was dear to him. With Jack gone (the thought made Kozmotis’ heart break), their choice was obvious. Attacking the people he served most of all would be the best way to draw him out and get their revenge. Unless they somehow knew Emily Jane was alive then they would come after her too, but Kozmotis wasn’t going to let her out of his sight.

Sanderson was nodding his understanding, the little man’s expression grave.

“Alright.”

Kozmotis was relieved to hear that same understanding in his daughter’s voice.

Without further ado he tied the ship to the star again and they sped off. Finding the Tsar and Tsarina as fast as possible was vital. With the number of darkling creatures that had been held in the prison and now had been set free all at once … Kozmotis didn’t want to consider it. They would be able to devour the entire universe in no time at all, especially considering that they had his old flagship. His Galleon was the fastest ship there was.

Although he hated that his daughter was trapped inside a star, at the moment he was grateful for her speed. Time was of the essence and every single second counted. They had no idea what happened and how far the Fearlings could have gotten so they had to assume the worst.

It was very fortunate then that the Moon Clipper was already heading Zeus’ way.

The moment Kozmotis boarded with Sanderson by his side—Emily Jane drifting alongside the Moon Clipper with Kozmotis’ ship—he was received with open arms, though the fear was palpable on the ship too.

It wasn’t a welcome Kozmotis deserved when everything was his fault. Still, the forgiving arms thrown around him by the Tsarina were a relief. Perhaps Sanderson’s presence helped, there was recognition on the Lunanoffs’ faces when they saw the Star Captain.

“Oh, Lord Pitch, what happened?”

Kozmotis urged for them all to sit down before he took a deep breath and started explaining everything. About his daughter being alive and leaving to find her on Jack’s insistence, about what he heard had happened on his return to Zeus.

As always they were completely understanding and accepting, not blaming Kozmotis one bit for going after his daughter. Kozmotis rather wished they did. He never should have left Jack, he felt utterly selfish for doing so. Then again he’d been selfish from the start in his wish to stand guard, Jack had been right.

If only he had listened to Jack from the start, none of this would have happened …

“I want to see the wounded,” the Tsarina said suddenly, drawing Kozmotis out of his thoughts and pulling him away from the war of grief and guilt waging inside of him.

“It might be safer to stay here,” Kozmotis said with a frown. On the Moon Clipper they could leave whenever necessary. On a planet they would not have such a speedy getaway and the risk was much higher.

The Tsarina shook her head stubbornly, the Tsar placing his hands on her shoulders in a show of support.

“We want to go.”

There wasn’t much arguing against such a united front. Sanderson indicating he wanted to go see the wounded as well did not help Kozmotis’ cause either. He ended up relenting and together they made their way back to Zeus.

The Tsar and Tsarina’s appearance with the Lord High General of the Galaxies by their side did wonders to soothe the populace’s anxieties. It was as if a hush had fallen, replacing the chaos with calmness. Nightlight had come with them, carrying Prince Lunar in his arms, and so had Sanderson.

Kozmotis had to leave Emily Jane in orbit again with great reluctance, but she insisted he go and take care of ‘Uncle’ Caelem. If Fearlings came, they would not get to her inside her star. Sanderson had vouched for her fierceness.

So for a second time Kozmotis found himself in the hospital wing with an entourage. The doctors and nurses were all too happy to receive royalty. Kozmotis was starting to understand why the Tsarina had insisted on coming to see them, not only out of personal concern for the Lunanoffs cared deeply for the people, but also to give the people some hope.

Kozmotis stood back as the Lunanoffs and Sanderson examined the officers one by one meticulously, uncertain why they were doing so when there was nothing any of them could do. … Or could they?

The Tsarina had a thoughtful expression on her face when she finished examining the last officer - Caelem. She looked like she knew something and she must because she was beckoning to him.

No wait, not to him. To Nightlight who was standing beside him.

The spectral boy nodded and came to her side, handing her the sleeping baby before he turned to inspect Caelem.

Kozmotis watched uncertainly as Sanderson joined Nightlight. The both of them seemed to come to some sort of unspoken agreement because after sharing one look, Sanderson floated up to sit by Caelem’s head and placed his hands over Caelem’s eyes while Nightlight held out his hands above Caelem’s wound.

The doctor was about to protest, taking a wavering step forward, when the Tsarina stopped her and reassured her that it would be fine.

Whatever the Star Captain and the spectral boy were doing, it appeared to be working. Caelem’s slowly face relaxed, no longer looking so drawn, and his breathing deepened. Now he looked more properly asleep and Kozmotis realised that Sanderson must be coaxing him into a dream.

As Caelem sunk into blissful sleep, the wound seemed to flare up like a flame. The dark smoke seeped more aggressively, coiling in the air. It was as though Sanderson’s dream was pushing all the darkness that had spread through Caelem’s body to one spot, making it shy away from the light of dreams. That’s where Nightlight came in. The spectral boy lowered his hands to gently cover the wound and Kozmotis watched in amazement as the boy glowed brighter and brighter.

And _brighter_.

Kozmotis had to shut his eyes. The last thing he saw was the darkness twisting desperately in an attempt to escape and then dispersing under Nightlight’s touch.

When the brightness eventually dimmed, Kozmotis found himself blinking at Caelem’s sleeping form looking considerably better. The oozing blackness was gone, leaving only a shallow cut along Caelem’s chest.

Sanderson and Nightlight backed off, looking pleased as Caelem inhaled deeply, stirring as his eyelids fluttered.

He was waking up.


	9. A Plan is Hatched

Kozmotis held his breath as Caelem came to, unconsciously taking a few steps closer to the bed. For the briefest moment, Caelem looked blissful as he floated between a state of consciousness and dreams, smiling dazedly at Kozmotis when he spotted him. It changed abruptly when he came to full awareness, blinking hard to rid his eyes of a sandy substance Sanderson must have placed there. Caelem’s expression turned into one of mounting horror and he bolted upright.

He would have fallen out of the bed if Kozmotis hadn’t rushed forward to catch him.

“Koz-” Caelem’s breath hitched in his frantic urgency and he gripped Kozmotis’ arms so hard that Kozmotis was certain there would be finger-shaped bruises left when his friend let go. Caelem’s wide eyes were full of fear as Kozmotis stared into them, equally wide-eyed and fearful at Caelem’s violent reaction. “It’s Jack.”

Kozmotis didn’t even know what Caelem meant by that, the dumbstruck expression on his face surely giving that away. Whatever it was, from Caelem’s actions and grave countenance he dreaded finding out.

“What about him?” Kozmotis’ voice was shaky as the words tumbled awkwardly from his mouth.

Caelem shook his head desperately, dropping his head to gather himself before glancing up at Kozmotis’ face again. The look on his face was one of great pain. Kozmotis wanted to soothe it away, to pull his friend in an embrace if only so he didn’t have to look at that wretched expression anymore, but he was frozen in fear.

“They possessed Jack.”

Oh, stars _no_.

“... They?”

Caelem looked reluctant to reply so Kozmotis shook him urgently.

“All of them.”

Not a single Fearling remained in the prison. Kozmotis’ stomach turned at the thought of so many creatures forcing themselves into one small, slight frame. He was going to be sick. Only the fact that he had an audience kept him from tearing himself out of Caelem’s death grip to heave into the nearest trash can.

It was a fate so much worse than death.

And it was all his fault.

This time it was Caelem who kept him from falling as he started sinking to his knees. He was maneuvered in such a way he ended up sitting on the bed, his back to the other conscious people in the room. Caelem let go of him once he’d gotten Kozmotis to sit, releasing his arms and taking hold of one of Kozmotis’ hands.

Kozmotis was too far gone in his shock and despair to even cry. Distantly he heard Caelem conversing with the Lunanoffs, explaining what had happened when he’d set out to look for Jack and how they were attacked when they got to the prison, a few of them barely managing to escape on an emergency boat.

Kozmotis heard the words as though he was listening in on the conversation from under water. He was more aware of Caelem’s hand tightly clutching his own and how his other hand, curled tight into a fist, was gently being coaxed open.

Kozmotis blinked, finally registering that it was a small, glowing hand caressing the back of his own.

Nightlight was peering up into his face. It reminded Kozmotis so strongly of Jack he had to squeeze his eyes shut to block out the sight and keep the tears at bay. The action at least made his awareness return enough for him to hear Caelem talking about Jack.

With a shuddering sigh, Kozmotis opened his eyes and lifted his head, gathering the pieces of himself and forcing some semblance of composure.

“We have to- we have to stop him.”

Caelem glanced back to him with a worried frown, his grip on Kozmotis’ hand growing firmer.

Everyone else exchanged uncertain glances and it irritated Kozmotis that they all immediately seemed to be walking on eggshells around him.

Caelem intervened before his temper had a chance to rise, nudging Kozmotis aside as he started slipping out of bed, dismissing the doctor’s protests as he did so.

“I’m going to have a talk with Kozmotis, privately. I’m fine now so just worry about waking the others.”

Caelem was linking his arm with Kozmotis’, urging him to his feet. Kozmotis obeyed and Nightlight gave his hand a last pat. The spectral boy was smiling up at him reassuringly and despite himself Kozmotis’ lips twitched up ever so briefly in response.

Caelem wasted no time dragging Kozmotis out of the room. Or rather, _attempting_ to drag Kozmotis along. He was rather unsteady on his feet and Kozmotis had to support most of his weight once they were out of the doctor’s sight.

Caelem dragged him into the nearest quiet room, away from the chaos.

It turned out to be a supply closet of some sort.

“How clandestine. Reminds me of our good ol’ days,” Caelem joked as he carefully settled himself.

Although Kozmotis could appreciate the attempt at lightening the mood, he didn’t feel it. He just sat down in front of Caelem somberly. It prompted Caelem to drop the act and lean into Kozmotis’ personal space, capturing his gaze.

“Koz, you can’t give up hope. He’s not dead.”

Kozmotis wanted to punch Caelem. Jack was possessed by thousands of Fearlings, there was no hope for him anymore and Caelem knew that. Instead of lashing out, Kozmotis shot him a baleful look that got his intention across as well as any punch would.

“A cure for possession was never found. He might as well be.”

Nothing that wasn’t a blade through the heart or any other action that permanently ended a life anyway. That was the only thing he would be able to do for Jack now: a mercy kill.

Caelem shook his head stubbornly.

“That’s what I thought before I lost consciousness too. I didn’t think I would ever wake up again, I was trapped in … I don’t know, a world of nightmares, I guess. But I woke up and here I am.”

Kozmotis started to turn his head away, but Caelem wouldn’t let him. He caught Kozmotis’ face between his hands, forcing him to keep looking into determined green eyes.

“I know how much he means to you. We’ll get him back, Kozmotis. We’re not losing anyone anymore.”

Kozmotis desperately wanted to believe that. After only just getting his daughter back, he couldn’t lose Jack. If he actually stopped to feel the grief, he was certain it would destroy him. He couldn’t cope with another devastating loss in his life. He wanted to believe they could save Jack. That maybe he and Jack could find happiness after all. Jack deserved that much.

As impossible as the task of freeing Jack seemed, he deserved it for Kozmotis to at least try find a way or die trying.

So Kozmotis nodded minutely.

A relieved smile broke out across Caelem’s face and he leaned forward, resting their foreheads together.

“That’s it. That’s the captain I remember and missed dearly.”

Kozmotis mustered a fond smile, closing his eyes and relishing the fact that he hadn’t lost Caelem. His oldest friend was alive and (mostly) well against all odds. Now they only had to get Jack back and this Kozmotis would not make the same mistake twice.

No more prisons. He would eradicate every Fearling, Nightmare Man and Dream Pirate and make sure their ilk would never rise again by killing them all.

They stayed put like that for a while, Kozmotis gathering his resolve and soaking in Caelem’s company after so long apart, until they were drawn from their private moment at a sudden commotion outside.

With a resolute glance shared, they steeled themselves before stepping outside and following the noise. They soon found themselves in the command center.

Reports were pouring in about the destruction that was rapidly spreading across the galaxies. Planets were plundered, stars extinguished, dreams stolen only to be replaced with misery and despair, people—most notably, children—turned into Fearlings. This was worse than the first War of Dreams. Now the Fearlings, Nightmare Men and Dream Pirates were working together as an unstoppable force.

Their odds were very much against them. No one was prepared for such a large scale attack when they had been convinced their peace would last forever. Even if they managed to gather the fleet back together, they had fallen too much behind and they would still be vastly outnumbered.

Kozmotis instantly knew that they would have to go about this a lot more differently than they had in the past. The benefit of having fought the same enemy for decades was that he knew how they thought and worked. That was something Kozmotis could (and fully intended) to use to his advantage.

The start of a plan was already forming in his mind. One that would involve using the same dirty tactics the Dream Pirates had used on him. He could have his revenge once and for all _and_ get Jack back.

But they had to move swiftly before any more could fall victim to the dark creatures’ savage path of carnage.

He nudged Caelem to draw his attention, jerking his head to the exit to indicate they go back to the Lunanoffs. Caelem looked confused for a grant total of three seconds before he saw the glint in Kozmotis’ eyes and grinned, following without question.

Kozmotis wasted no more time with sorrow or guilt, he strode with purpose and approached the Lunanoffs with certainty. He met the Tsar head-on.

“I might have a plan,” he declared and after a flicker of surprise, the Tsar looked back to him with confidence.

“We’re almost done here then we can return to the Moon Clipper and discuss it there.”

Some of the patients had awoken and others were sleeping more peacefully while Sanderson and Nightlight were working on the last patient.

Kozmotis bowed his head to the Tsar and turned around to face an eager-looking Caelem.

“You stay here.”

The eagerness disappeared from Caelem’s face in a flash, replaced with indignation.

“What?! No! I’m fine, you know I am! It’s just a small flesh wound now-”

Kozmotis held up his hand to halt any further rambling about how Caelem was in top condition, giving him an imploring look.

“I want you to gather the fleet back together and form a line of defense in case the plan fails. If it does, it’ll at least buy you enough time to do that much. If, on the other hand, it succeeds, I’ll still need the fleet to be ready for battle.”

Caelem deflated, anger gone as he understood the grave importance of the task Kozmotis was bestowing on him though a hint of reluctance remained. Kozmotis knew that Caelem would want nothing more than to be by his side in the heart of the action, but he needed someone to stay behind and make certain the people would stay safe. Caelem was his second-in-command and therefore he was the one most fit for it, essentially taking on his role as General.

“Will you at least tell me what the plan is?”

Kozmotis hesitated, knowing that out of all people it would be Caelem who would most likely raise objections as it was a risky plan. Caelem was staring at him sternly as if he already knew.

With a sigh, Kozmotis relented and took Caelem aside to explain what he’d thought of. It wasn’t a whole cohesive plan just yet, but important pieces that made for a good start. It was also dangerous and if he failed, it would make matters even worse for the galaxies.

Which is why he saw Caelem’s reaction coming from miles away.

“You’re _insane_. If that fails-”

“It won’t. Trust me. I know how they think, it will work.”

Caelem stared at him in an odd mixture of disbelief and awe with a dash of anger. It took him a small moment to stop gaping at Kozmotis.

“It better. I swear, Kozmotis, I will hunt you down and kill you myself.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less.” His smile was as genuine as his words. Caelem shook his head, still somewhat disbelieving, before he pulled Kozmotis into a tight embrace. Kozmotis didn’t hesitate returning it, onlookers be damned.

“Save him and come back alive, Koz.”

He knew better than to do so, but …

“I promise. Take care of everything here.”

Caelem nodded solemnly when the embrace was broken. With a last hearty clap to the shoulder, they parted ways.

Kozmotis returned to the Moon Clipper with the Lunanoffs and Sanderson and he was relieved to see Emily Jane unharmed. They let the Moon Clipper drift along with the winds so that Emily Jane could stay with them and they gathered on deck (so she too was in on the discussion) for a meeting.

Nightlight stood nearby, Prince Lunar in his arms as usual. That accounted for everyone relevant to his plan.

Kozmotis stood up from where he was seated at the table that was brought on deck for the meeting, drawing the attention of everyone. He cleared his throat and folded his arms behind his back, taking on the authoritative posture of the noble General he once was.

“I’ll start this off by saying that I intend to try and save Jack.”

The Tsar and Tsarina did not look surprised in the slightest, they simply nodded their understanding to Kozmotis’ astonishment. It seemed like they had already put their faith in Kozmotis’ half-formed plan despite not knowing what it even entailed. Kozmotis wasn’t sure if that was wise, but he appreciated it all the same.

“A very hard task,” the Tsar said seriously. “But I assume you have something in mind. How many men do you need?”

“I need only a few of those who are present right here,” Kozmotis replied before turning to Sanderson. “Can I ask for your help?”

Sanderson beamed at him, nodding with enthusiasm. Seeing the Star Captain so eager and willing heartened Kozmotis and he inclined his head gratefully.

He then turned to the star floating alongside the ship. Kozmotis loathed involving his daughter, but he’d seen how she fought the Dream Pirates in Sanderson’s dream and her strength and speed would be sorely needed.

Still, he hesitated for what father would ever want to put their child any where near danger?

She must have noticed his reluctance somehow because she spoke up, clear and unhesitating. Kozmotis had to remind himself that she was no longer a child, but a grown capable woman.

“How can I help?”

“I’ll need your swiftness,” he said, briefly abandoning his formal stance to press a hand against the surface of the star, hoping that she would sense his gratitude in some way. He marveled at her readiness to help after everything she’d been through, brushing his hand along the star as he dropped his arm and turned back to the assembly in front of him.

“Now, here’s what I have in mind.”

 

* * *

 

By the end of his explanation, the Lunanoffs seemed more confident about his plan than he himself was. They’d been most helpful, offering suggestions that helped formulate his plan into something more whole. It was valued help, though Kozmotis shook his head when they asked if they could help any further.

“You should go somewhere safe.”

They were, after all, the Tsar and Tsarina - the most beloved house of their age. The people would need them to look to and if anyone were to survive, it would have to be them. They would keep hope alive.

The Tsar and Tsarina looked at each other, coming to some silent agreement with just a glance. It was the Tsar who spoke up for them both.

“At least let us lend you our Moon Clipper. It sounds like you will need every little bit of help you can get.”

Kozmotis could not deny that the ship would be of great help. The Moon Clipper’s swiftness matched that of the Galleon, any bit of speed could help turn the tide. But the safety of the Tsar and Tsarina was more important.

“No, you’ll need it.”

The Tsarina shook her head firmly.

“We insist. We’ll stay in Zeus. The fleet is being gathered there, no? It will be the safest place for us. Even if we kept the Moon Clipper, it’s unlikely we would be able to outrun them now.”

The Tsarina walked over, soothing away Kozmotis’ guilty grimace by placing a gentle hand against his cheek.

“It’s better we stay with the people.”

“Alright,” Kozmotis agreed reluctantly and she smiled warmly at him before returning to her husband’s side.

“Then we’ll start with the preparations,” the Tsar declared. The Lunanoffs moved away to start giving the crew of the ship instructions.

While the Moon Clipper was steered back the way they came from, Kozmotis stood silently by Emily Jane’s and Sanderson’ side, lost in brooding thoughts. Neither Emily Jane nor Sanderson did anything to interrupt those thoughts, allowing him to process everything carefully while appreciating their comforting presences.

It was a while before the Tsarina reappeared, coming to stand next to Kozmotis casually.

“You love him, don’t you?” She asked.

“Yes.”

It surprised Kozmotis how easy it was to admit it when he hadn’t been able to say it to Jack personally.

He turned to properly face the Tsarina and saw that there was no judgment in her gaze, only warmth and love.

“Then allow me to lend you the best help we can.”

She stepped aside, revealing Nightlight.

Kozmotis’ eyes widened, a protest immediately on his tongue. It was true they would need Nightlight in his plan, but that was later on when the threat had been mostly neutralised.

“But he-”

“It would be easier if he was with you from the start, yes?”

Kozmotis nodded wordlessly, the lie too obvious to get away with if he said no.

“Prince Lunar-”

The Tsarina again cut him short with a shake of her head.

“We’ll have your dear friend to protect us.”

Caelem. Of course Kozmotis could count on him to keep the Lunanoffs safe at all costs, but to take away both the Moon Clipper _and_ the prince’s personal guard was too much.

The hesitance must have shown on his face for the Tsarina suddenly looked stern.

“It’s important you succeed for all us. It would spare us another war and a great deal of loss.”

It was true. If Kozmotis succeeded then a full out war could be avoided like the one that was threatening to engulf the universe right now. The Tsarina’s words were a reminder that this wasn’t just about him and Jack. The galaxies were at stake as well.

No pressure or anything.

“Thank you.” Kozmotis bowed deeply in acceptance of the offer. There wasn’t time to argue and convince her to keep Nightlight when he knew she was right nor was he one to defy authority such as the Lunanoffs in the first place. (Anyone else had been fair game in the past though.)

When he straightened, she was smiling brightly at him, pleased. In a more personal gesture, she stepped closer and took his hands.

“We know you can do it. We believe in you.”

Kozmotis nodded, not knowing what to say in response. The Lunanoffs had such unfaltering faith in him—probably because his first campaign had been a success— he wondered if it was truly deserved. Selfishness and a need for revenge had led him to imprison the darkling creatures instead of killing them and selfishness had made him leave Jack and that had led to the prisoners being freed.

He desperately wanted to know what had happened. What made it so that they could escape and possess Jack.

Hopefully he would find out soon though he dreaded it at the same time.

The Tsarina gave his hands one last reassuring squeeze before she moved away, leaving Kozmotis with Nightlight. The boy saluted him happily when Kozmotis caught his gaze. Amused, Kozmotis saluted in response, causing the spectral boy to laugh.

It was a bright sound, tinkling like wind chimes that reinforced the belief that this boy was very special. One of a kind. Somehow the sound managed to lift Kozmotis’ spirits, making him feel lighter and more assured.

“We’ll save him, Father.”

Emily Jane’s voice spoke up, alerting Kozmotis to the fact she and Sanderson had been here the whole time and no doubt must have heard his declaration of love for Jack. He’d be embarrassed if Emily Jane didn’t sound so soft and gentle. This was not the way he’d wanted her to find out, but then nothing had gone the way Kozmotis wanted them to go since he left the prison.

Sanderson was nodding heartily.

“Yes, we will,” Kozmotis said and perhaps he was actually starting to believe it.

With a being of dreams they could fend off the nightmares and with a being of light, the darkness could be kept at bay. The odd against them were staggering, but they only needed a small window of opportunity for the plan to succeed.

Kozmotis had hope.

They dropped the Lunanoffs off on the main planet of the Constellation, leaving them in the capable hands of Caelem and the army. The Moon Clipper was made battle-ready and some extra supplies were brought on board in case their journey went awry and took longer than expected. Not only was Kozmotis entrusted the ship, but also the Moon Clipper’s crew by extension. It had to be the oddest group he’d ever sailed with—a crew made up entirely out of Moonbots and Moonmice—but they worked fast and efficiently. Kozmotis vowed to protect them as he’d always done with his own crew to the best of his abilities. He was determined to make it so that there were no more losses this time around.

With everything set, they sailed out to meet the new threat with only Kozmotis, Emily Jane, Sanderson, Nightlight and the Moon Clipper’s crew aboard the ship. (Or tied to, in Emily Jane’s case.)

It was Kozmotis’ turn to do the unexpected and show up with a small crew when their enemies would be expecting a large fleet.

There would be great satisfaction to be found in using the Dream Pirates’ strategy against them.

_If_ the plan succeeds, that is.


	10. The Plan’s Execution

Finding out Jack’s whereabouts was not very difficult. They only needed to follow the trail of destruction and misery left in his wake. They could see the damage that had been done with their own eyes and terrible tales reached them of what had happened in some places. All of it made Kozmotis sick to his stomach to think the creatures were inflicting that much hurt with Jack’s body. He was afraid what that would do to Jack’s psyche. No one had ever recovered from possession before so there was no telling what it would do to a person. 

Was Jack aware the entire time?

Stars, Kozmotis hoped not. 

He also dreaded to see what Jack would look like under the Fearling influence. What he’d seen in the previous war had given him an all too clear idea of what to expect. Figures wasted away, turned into twisted, wispy shades of their former selves that oozed darkness. Sometimes they looked grotesque as if the person being possessed had resisted with all their might, breaking and contorting limbs to get away from the Fearlings in the confines of their own body.

Jack would have fought. Kozmotis was sure of it.

And that made it all the more terrible.

He tried, in so much he could, to steel himself for what was to come. There were so many ways his plan could go wrong, it relied purely on Kozmotis knowing how the enemy thought and that might have changed now that they had possessed Jack and the Nightmare Men, Fearlings and Dream Pirates conspired together. It left much to be worried about.

When he wasn’t directing the crew, he was pacing restlessly on deck. Not stopping until Emily Jane told him off or Sanderson or Nightlight made him sit down with them in their calming presence.

The anxiety was eating away at him more and more the closer they got to their target. Eventually it turned into plain terror when shouts coming from the mast informed everyone on board that the Galleon was in sight.

For all his fear, Kozmotis sprung to action immediately, traveling to the helm of the ship to see for himself.

It was an awful sight. His once beautiful ship was tarnished and ragged, turned into some ghost ship that had been raised from the abyss. It only vaguely resembled Kozmotis’ old ‘home’ in shape. 

It was now a Nightmare Galleon.

While they were still some way behind, he quickly told Emily Jane to follow the plan and she shot off in another direction.

Just in time too, because the Nightmare Galleon was turning around. They must have been spotted.

The crew was quick to move into position, everyone ready for whatever may come.

Sanderson was tugging at his sleeve, finally getting Kozmotis to look away from the nightmarish ship that was once his own. The Star Captain held up a pouch, as promised. 

“Thank you,” Kozmotis murmured as he tied the pouch to his belt before hiding it underneath his long officer’s coat. Nightlight had joined his side as well, wearing a severe expression that looked far too old for such a young face.

The time was now.

“We stick to the plan. Don’t intervene unless absolutely necessary.”

Both Sanderson and Nightlight nodded and Kozmotis strode to the very front of the ship where he would be most visible, taking the white flag offered to him by one of the Moonbots on his way. 

He moved into position, holding the white flag aloft and praying hard that their enemy wouldn’t immediately attack and obliterate them. They seldom followed any code of honour, but the fact that _he_ was aboard this ship and holding a white flag should give them pause.

_Should_ being the keyword.

From where he was standing he could make out the crew aboard the Nightmare Galleon as they drifted closer and closer. The deck was swarming with Dream Pirates holding harpoons at the ready.

At the helm stood a very familiar figure that made Kozmotis’ stomach lurch.

Jack.

Strangely he did not appear as all other possessed persons had done. He was … whole, for the lack of a better word. It was more as if someone had thrown a black and white filter over him. His pale skin had turned a ghastly smudged grey, his hair was stained with the same inky black darkness that had seeped from Caelem’s wound. His outfit was tattered and instead of light blue the uniform was now shades of black and grey. With a pang of hopeless fondness, Kozmotis noted that he was standing on bare feet.

The most stark and jarring difference was Jack’s gaze. No longer the brilliant blue Kozmotis had come to love so dearly, his eyes glowed an eerie yellow like that of a predator at night. Twisted delight was stretched all over Jack’s features at seeing Kozmotis.

Perhaps this was worse than what Kozmotis had imagined. This way he still appeared so very like _Jack_ that it keenly hurt. If his plan failed and he had to go for his first idea of a mercy kill, Kozmotis wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it.

He pushed the thought aside, focusing on the task and believing with all his might it would not come to that.

They were close enough to be heard now and they still hadn’t been attacked so Kozmotis took the opportunity to declare his intention, swallowing back his fear.

“Parley!”

Everyone on board the Moon Clipper held their breath as a tense silence settled. Jack- No, the creature that used to be Jack, stared at him with widened eyes in surprise before he tilted his head to one side in an exaggerated show of consideration. It was done at an angle that did not seem physically possible for Jack’s body and Kozmotis had to force himself to keep staring back and not look away in sheer revulsion and horror.

Seeing that he wasn’t intimidated, Jack grinned—his pristine teeth seeming sharper—and turned to the Dream Pirates behind him, apparently speaking to them though Kozmotis could not hear what was being said. The tension aboard the Moon Clipper was so strong it was nearly tangible.

Then Jack turned and waved his hand for Kozmotis to come aboard.

Kozmotis breathed out in relief. This wasn’t the worst part yet, but it was the one that had been the most unpredictable. The Dream Pirates could have fired upon sight, it was lucky that they hadn’t.

The ships turned so they were side by side and a board could be extended to allow passage between them, the Dream Pirates jeering at them menacingly from the Nightmare Galleon. With one last look at Sanderson (Nightlight had hidden himself from view, as agreed upon) and a solemn nod exchanged, Kozmotis boarded the Nightmare Galleon, finding himself surrounded by the Dream Pirates he’d despised for so long and whose hatred for him probably matched his own after managing to imprison them. They parted to allow Kozmotis through, scornfully taunting him as he went.

Soon he was standing right across from Jack, who stood in the center of the crowd.

He looked even more dreadful up close.

“Hello, _lover_ ,” he purred, his voice dissonant with the way it carried the hissing of Fearlings in its undertone. For Kozmotis, who was so used to blocking out Fearling whispers, it was easy to imagine that he was only hearing Jack and that the Fearling noise was simply the background noise it had always been. Hearing it brought forth an ache that was hard to suppress. “How nice of you to come see the terrible mistake you’ve made.”

Kozmotis clenched his jaw, fighting to not let himself be affected by the taunt. He steeled himself and stared unflinchingly into haunting, glowing eyes. When he spoke it was not to Jack, but to the Fearlings housed inside him.

“What did you do?”

Jack shrugged his shoulders carelessly, looking utterly nonchalant and bored. It reminded Kozmotis strongly of the way Jack had looked whenever he was assigned a task that was ‘boring and unnecessary’.

He had to remind himself this wasn’t Jack. These were Fearlings that paraded around in Jack’s body, making a mockery out of it. He couldn’t let himself be fooled by that appearance any more than the voices they had used back at the prison. 

Seeing Jack standing there though … This was even harder than Kozmotis imagined and it had already been a monumental task in his mind.

“Nothing we haven’t done before.”

Kozmotis’ temper rose and he narrowed his eyes.

“Meaning?”

Jack narrowed his eyes in return and then suddenly threw his head back and laughed, sounding and appearing completely deranged. Perhaps he had been driven mad by the possession … 

Kozmotis tensed, resisting the urge to take a step back when Jack looked at him again and took a step forward.

Jack opened his mouth, but what came out was not Jack’s voice or even the unsettling voices of the Fearlings.

“Jack, I’m _scared_.”

Kozmotis knew that voice. It was a flawless mimicry of Jack’s sister.

His fear was quickly replaced by red hot anger though that was quickly overshadowed by his confusion. Jack would have known better than to fall for that. Especially considering he could talk to his actual sister at any time.

Kozmotis’ brows knitted together in a heavy frown of skepticism. 

“But the mirror … ”

“Oh, that old thing? It broke just as you left. Slipped out of his pocket when he ran to wave goodbye. It took a while, but he finally listened.”

Kozmotis’ insides turned to lead. It really was all his fault. He went rigid, the guilt threatening to consume him whole. Before he had the chance to snap himself out of it, Jack was suddenly right in front of him, leaning into his personal space. It took all of Kozmotis’ willpower to stand his ground and not flinch.

Despite his efforts, it didn’t stop him from blanching when two hands found his waist and a slight body was pressed against his.

“He’s still in here, you know. He misses you oh so very much.”

Cold lips were pressed against his own before Kozmotis could respond and he was rooted to the spot. The contact was like a shock of lightning stunning him. A fanciful thought flitted across Kozmotis’ mind. One that suggested that maybe everything had been a simple nightmare, that he was still at the prison and Jack was kissing him awake as he sometimes had when the nightmares were particularly bad.

His resolve very nearly broke, making him instinctively turn his head with the intention of returning the kiss until he caught himself just in time.

“ _Koz._ ” The voice was pitched perfectly, sounding exactly like Jack when he was desperate for distraction or close to climax. Kozmotis hated that it made heat curl low in his gut instantly.

“ _Stop it,_ ” he ground out between gritted teeth.

Jack chuckled darkly, sweetly pressing a kiss against one corner of his mouth before leaning back. He didn’t pull away entirely, still pressed against Kozmotis and Kozmotis refused to show weakness. He stayed put.

“But I miss you, daddy.”

The ache of arousal those words in Jack’s voice send rocking through his body made Kozmotis want to throw himself into the nearest sun. While he was distracted with hating himself, Jack pushed himself on tiptoe, his cheek pressed against Kozmotis’ as he whispered into Kozmotis’ ear, voice husky and low. “Think of all the fun we could have.”

_It’s not Jack._

Kozmotis willed himself to grab hold of the Fearling creature wearing Jack’s skin, grasping him by the arms and pulling him away to hold him at arm’s length.

“I said _stop_.”

Jack grinned at him, his lips stretching too far and his sharp teeth gleaming in the starlight, effectively breaking the illusion. He shrugged himself out of Kozmotis’ grip and Kozmotis allowed him. He had no choice when he was surrounded by Dream Pirates watching his every movement with weapons at the ready. 

Jack brushed his arms off as though he’d been touched by something filthy, demeanor returning to a nonchalance that bordered on icy cold cruelness. When he was done, he fixed Kozmotis with an impassive look on his face.

“You came out here all this way on your own just to talk?”

There was a menacing undertone to Jack’s voice, suggesting that Kozmotis would not leave this ship alive if that was the case. It’s pretty much what Kozmotis expected. Of course they wouldn’t hold to the rules of Parley.

“I want to negotiate.”

This was the moment. Everything had to go right here or else they would be doomed.

For the moment it was working. Jack looked piqued, the icy facade melting away and showing a hint of eager curiosity. 

“Is that so?”

Kozmotis nodded, taking a deep steadying breath before he continued.

“I want you to take me instead of Jack.”

Jack’s eyes widened, the sheer surprise making him look innocent and thus so very Jack-like that Kozmotis almost reached out to touch him. Fortunately the surprise didn’t last, it was rapidly replaced with exultation. 

“Oh, _Kozmotis_. You and your guilt complex.” Jack was in his personal space again, winding slender arms around his waist and resting his chin on Kozmotis’ sternum as he stared up into his face with a look of dark glee. “It never grows old.”

It was working. So far, so good.

“Take me and let him go,” he insisted, not having to force the pleading guiltiness in his voice.

Jack was quiet and calculating for a moment, staring at him with those unnerving eyes. Kozmotis’ fear that he wouldn’t take the offer wasn’t one he had to cover up, it would work to his advantage in making the offer seem more genuine.

And it did. Jack’s expression transformed into one that made him appear as pleased as the mooncat that caught the canary. 

“You drive a hard bargain.”

To Kozmotis’ relief, Jack was letting go of him and stepping back.

“And all you want is for him to be let go?”

“Him and everyone on that ship. You’ll let them get away.”

Jack pretended to look thoughtful and Kozmotis played along, letting the desperation seep into his tone.

“I’ll be of more use to you than Jack,” he urged. Jack was mockingly silent for a moment longer to really let the tension settle in, though Kozmotis wasn’t fooled. He knew what they were thinking: they would give Kozmotis what he wanted and later go kill Jack anyway.

“Alright, deal.”

Now came the hardest part. Although considering how well the Fearlings were playing along so far, Kozmotis felt confident it would work.

“Before we do this, let me talk to him first.” Kozmotis glanced around pointedly at the Dream Pirates and then back to Jack. “In private.”

“‘Talk’, is it?” Jack bit his lower lip, making a very indecent noise as tugged on his shirt to reveal more grey-smudged skin suggestively. The Dream Pirates jeered and whistled loudly.

Kozmotis kept his face stony, nodding.

Jack dropped the act with a pout though a second later he offered his hand.

“Let’s ‘talk’ then.”

As if they could resist rubbing his mistake in his face and torturing him with it. Kozmotis knew them too well and right now that was a huge relief.

This would be it. The moment it came down to.

His heart was trying to claw its way out of his chest as he accepted the offered hand and was led to the captain’s cabin. _His_ cabin. To Kozmotis’ surprise, it wasn’t as changed as the exterior. It almost made him feel nostalgic. Even Emily Jane’s flower crown that Kozmotis had preserved in a glass dome was still standing on top of a shelf, the light long gone from the petals.

He probably would be nostalgic if he wasn’t too busy keeping an eye on Jack who was shutting the door behind him and then moving to sit on the desk, eyeing Kozmotis like something to be devoured. He was breathing deeply as though sniffing the air for something.

Kozmotis didn’t understand why until Jack spoke.

“I sense dreams on you.”

_Oh no._ Kozmotis suppressed the flit of panic, keeping himself composed. 

“There is a Dream Master on board the Moon Clipper.”

A look of delight passed across Jack’s face and for a heart stopping second Kozmotis thought he was had.

But no.

“You brought me a snack? Oh Kozzy, you _shouldn’t_ have.”

“You’re letting him go along with Jack,” he growled, bristling.

Jack threw up his hands as though it was all a big joke.

“Aw, you’re no fun.”

Kozmotis was still glaring, heart beating in his chest so hard he was certain that Jack could hear it from across the room. Jack’s expression was darkening sinisterly as he crooked a finger at Kozmotis.

“Come here then, we’ll have a proper goodbye.”

With heavy feet Kozmotis approached cautiously, uncertain what to expect and what the Fearlings might pull. When he was within reach of Jack’s arm, he was grabbed and tugged into a rough kiss. It was heated and desperate. He could almost believe it was Jack until sharp teeth sunk into his lip and the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth.

A moan escaped him before he could stop it.

It made him feel repulsed by himself and the way his body was so quick to respond to the attention as Jack wrapped his legs around his waist and reeled him in.

“You love this, Koz,” Jack whispered in between filthy kisses, rolling his hips unabashedly. “You like it _dark_ and tainted.”

Kozmotis grabbed Jack's hips and leaned in abruptly, kissing him hard to keep him quiet. As much as it disgusted him, he had to play along and keep Jack preoccupied and unsuspecting. The move he pulled was doing that well. Jack’s arms went around his shoulders, hands coming to grip his hair tightly as the kiss grew more fervent.

When the kiss was eventually broken and Jack was staring at him through hooded eyes, he could swear there was a hint of blue shining through. It arrested his breathing and he went still, staring hard.

Jack smiled shyly, speaking fully in his own voice that sounded slightly breathy. 

“I thought about doing this so many times. It kept me warm on those long nights sailing.”

_This isn’t Jack,_ Kozmotis reminded himself harshly, all but screaming at himself inside his head. If Jack was aware in there, they would never let him have control. That’s not how the Fearlings worked. That would be too much of a risk to them.

They were using Jack’s memories, defiling them and it made Kozmotis livid. It took everything not to pull away in revulsion right then and there. Especially when they continued between soft gasps and little moans as Kozmotis lavished Jack’s neck with kisses to avoid looking at his face and potentially let anything show.

“We’re away from the prison now. We can do it here, Koz.”

They were goading him into taking Jack, having him while he was possessed and unable to truly consent. No doubt they would turn around and use that against him afterward for some final torturing.

Kozmotis wasn’t going to let it get that far.

But he did have to play along for a little longer until the right opportunity was there.

He kissed his way up along Jack’s neck to capture his lips again, rolling his hips and grinding back against him. Jack was soon a breathless mess of whimpers as Kozmotis took control. They were doing a great imitation of Jack, Kozmotis had to give them that.

Which made it as good an opportunity as any.

He broke the kiss, pulling away as much as Jack’s legs and grip would allow him. Jack was blinking at him, seemingly dazed, and licking kiss-swollen lips. An appealing sight under any other circumstances. Jack looked like he was about to protest until he saw Kozmotis reaching down to undo his own belt. He smirked and let go of Kozmotis’ hair, the grip of his legs also slackening to allow Kozmotis more room.

Although there was an approving smirk painted all over the grey face, Kozmotis thought he could see a flash of something else in his gaze. Fear. 

Maybe Jack really was aware of everything.

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._

Kozmotis desperately thought, wishing that those thoughts would somehow reach Jack. He leaned in for another rough kiss, hands still fumbling with the belt, as if he was too eager to wait. Jack moaned against his mouth, squirming impatiently. 

With Jack’s attention diverted to the kiss and his gaze blocked, Kozmotis unbuckled his belt and then his fingers moved along it to where he’d tied the pouch, dipping inside it.

He only needed a handful …

Jack was so absorbed in the heat of the moment that he remained oblivious. Once Kozmotis was certain he had enough in his hand, he moved as swiftly as he could. 

He jerked away from the kiss, bringing his closed palm between their faces. Before Jack could even register what was happening, he opened his fingers, revealing the glittering Dreamsand for a split second and then Kozmotis blew hard, blowing the grains straight into Jack’s eyes.

“Wha-”

Jack swayed, unable to finish the word as the sand worked its magic rapidly. No amount of blinking was helping Jack, his eyes grew heavy and his face slack as sleep took hold and refused to let go. It took maybe ten seconds in total before Jack fell back on the desk with a dull thud, fast asleep.

_His plan had worked._

Now it was just a matter of sneaking Jack out and keeping him confined. The worst of the plan was over.

Kozmotis could breathe in some relief, though triumph would have to wait until he was out and Jack had been cured. He had no idea how long the Dreamsand would remain effective so he had to move fast.

He buckled his belt up and tied the pouch up again to avoid spilling Dreamsand and potentially knocking himself out as he moved to the window of his cabin. He opened it and glanced down.

Just as planned, Nightlight was there on a Solar Surfer, waving up at him in happy relief when he saw Kozmotis. He gave Nightlight a thumbs up before moving back inside to retrieve Jack’s unconscious body.

He moved a chair in front of the door first, blocking the handle, before he went to grab Jack. Kozmotis lifted him from the table easily, his weight seeming even less than before. It was worrying, but not something to fuss over right now. He rushed back to the window and with some awkward maneuvering he pushed Jack through it, watching anxiously as he fell … 

And Nightlight caught him gracefully on his way up to meet Kozmotis.

When the spectral boy came level with him, they exchanged small tentative grins of momentary victory and Kozmotis climbed out of the window to join him on the Solar Surfer, taking Jack from him and hoisting the prone body over his shoulder.

It was cramped and it quickly became obvious that a Solar Surfer wasn’t made to carry three people at once. Kozmotis held on with his free hand, letting Nightlight steer and awkwardly maneuver them around. Nightlight steered the Solar Surfer down again where they would move underneath the ships and get back to Moon Clipper on the other side.

That Nightlight had made it here doing exactly that filled Kozmotis with confidence that they could make it back just as stealthily. Passing underneath the Nightmare Galleon was easy and they did so swiftly enough.

Then came the hard part. There was a gap between the two ships and anyone who looked down would be able to spot them. The chances that anyone would do so were slim, but it remained a possibility. 

Nightlight dimmed his glow until it was like that of a distant star and very carefully steered the Solar Surfer to try and conceal it under the board that was serving as a bridge between the ships. Slowly, so as not to draw attention with fast movements, they drifted forward inch by inch.

Kozmotis kept his gaze directed up, scanning the Nightmare Galleon to see if it was safe to keep going.

Unfortunately he spotted the Dream Pirate lounging over a railing too late.

“Over there!”

Chaos broke out. The Dream Pirates sprung to action as did the Moonbots, becoming a discord of noise. 

Nightlight gave him an urgent look and then suddenly let go of the Solar Surfer. Kozmotis watched in awe as Nightlight bend his knees and then suddenly shot up like a rocket, knocking the board away and severing the bridge between ships. He twisted in the air, staying aloft and catching a spear one of the Moonbots threw him.

Abandoning all attempts at stealth and caution, Kozmotis steered the Solar Surfer to shoot up to the back of the Moon Clipper rather than go around all the way to the other side. There was no time for that now.

Jagged harpoons were being fired, digging into the Moon Clipper. They had to get out of here _now_.

He landed on deck just in time to see Emily Jane’s attack. She had been meant as a distraction or just a deterrent to keep the Dream Pirates from following, but now she went on a full frontal attack. Kozmotis watched in horror as she flew straight into the Nightmare Galleon with frightening velocity, the ship seeming to cry out as it splintered and was torn apart. She was going so fast that she kept going, taking a huge chunk of the ship with her as she crashed down into a small plundered moon.

“EMILY JANE!” 

Kozmotis made to grab for the Solar Surfer when a hand caught his and a voice called out in his mind.

_’She will be fine.’_

Kozmotis glanced down to see Sanderson staring up at him imploringly. He let go of Kozmotis’ hand to point at Jack.

Right.

They had to confine him first. 

Kozmotis shot the smouldering moon one last frantic look and then darted below deck to take Jack to the brig. It had been adjusted back in Zeus so that it was made of the same dark matter that the prison was made of. It would be able to hold the Fearlings, no matter how much stronger they had gotten in Jack’s body.

He could feel Jack beginning to stir at all the commotion and his run became a mad dash to get to the brig in time.

He did, tossing Jack into it and dumping the rest of the Dreamsand in his face for good measure. They had Jack contained and they could deal with him later. Right now Kozmotis was more concerned (or rather, in full blown panic) about his daughter. 

What she had done had undoubtedly saved them all. The Nightmare Galleon was no more and he could hear the Moonbots and Moonmice taking care of the remaining Dream Pirates that were now stuck in the wreckage of the ship. Some stray Nightmare Men had scattered, but that was what the reassembled fleet would be for.

They had Jack. The plan had succeeded.

Now he just had to get his daughter back.

Kozmotis ran to get back above deck, calling for Nightlight. The spectral boy was in front of him in the blink of an eye, nearly startling Kozmotis with his speed. Kozmotis would really have to thank the Lunanoffs again for lending him someone who was such an incredible asset. “Can you watch over Jack?”

Nightlight nodded and disappeared below deck before Kozmotis could say so much as a thanks. The spectral boy had been Prince Lunar’s guard and his light warded off shadows, Kozmotis could not think of a better more fitting guard for the possessed young man.

With Jack taken care of, he rushed back to the helm, Sanderson tottering after him.

“We have to get her,” he called back to the Star Captain in case he was thinking of stopping Kozmotis again. Sanderson merely nodded and Kozmotis wasted no more time. He turned the wheel wildly as he reached it, making the ship veer sharply in the direction of the moon.

It was still smouldering, but there a was a blackness mixed in with the smoke that made Kozmotis’ heart drop when he saw it. Emily Jane had likely taken quite a few Dream Pirates down with her.

He had to get to her before it was too late.


	11. Reunited At Last

Mad races to get to certain locations were something Kozmotis should be used to by now and yet every new one seemed worse than the last. He found himself very grateful he was lent the Moon Clipper now, the speed coming in handy as he sailed down to the moon. It really was like sailing home to find he had lost his family all over again, the very same dreadful uncertainty gnawing at his insides.

He couldn’t help but think it was as if the universe would not allow him to have Emily Jane and Jack at the same time.

Frankly, the universe could go fuck itself.

He was getting them both back.

Despite the haste and the ship’s celerity, it still felt as though it took an eternity even though it wasn’t actually that long at all before the ship awkwardly landed on a barren surface. Armed with his sword and a tiny army of Moonbots plus Sanderson by his side, they left the ship in the hands of the rest of the crew and Nightlight.

It only took a few feet for them to encounter some Dream Pirates that had survived the crash. Kozmotis did not pause to question them nor did he show any mercy whatsoever, he fought and cut down every Dream Pirate in the vicinity. He would not make the same mistake twice.

The closer they got to where the crater was, the more the winds were picking up. Kozmotis tried yelling for his daughter only for his voice to be carried away by the howling winds.

A storm was raging, picking up the Dream Pirates and tossing them away to land on the jagged rocks to meet their painful demise.

Kozmotis struggled to keep walking forward as they got nearer. That’s when Sanderson took the lead and led them straight into it, somehow using the sand that was scattered everywhere and shaping it into a dome that held the worst of the winds at bay. It was the star’s sand, Kozmotis realised. With Sanderson’s help they pushed through.

At the center of the storm stood Emily Jane, commanding the winds with her hands raised to the sky, her long hair a billowing mass of black that almost seemed to move independently with her fury.

In the dream she’d already appeared stunning. To actually see her made the dream version pale in comparison. She was wild and free. His wife had had the same kind of wildness to her, only it had been contained behind the grace of a true lady of the Golden Age. Although she stood with a similar regal air as her mother, Emily Jane was a raw and untempered force.

Kozmotis knew then that he did not need to fear for his daughter, she would be able to take care of herself as she’d done all those years. When all this was over, he would have to go thank Typhan at some point. Or well, _maybe_. Because Kozmotis could not forgive cursing her so easily even though the lesson had been a necessary one for Emily Jane.

Seeing his daughter like this in person made him feel a pang of loss for all the years he’d missed seeing her grow and also for the little girl he had lost and would never see again for she was now full grown, but he also felt a strong surge of pride. She was amazing.

In the eye of the storm everything seemed to grow still, even more so when Emily Jane turned and saw him, locking gazes. The whole world seemed to slow and turn silent (possibly because the storm was lifting as Emily Jane lowered her hands) and his breath was caught in his chest as they stared at each other.

He was snapped out of it a little when Sanderson patted his leg, drawing his attention, before pointing Emily Jane’s way with an exaggerated sigh. Kozmotis got the message. He moved forward, one step in front the other, in a dream-like state until he was an arm’s length away. He tried and failed to think of something to say. His thoughts were racing so fast, it was impossible to pick one to voice out loud. He didn’t know what would be the right thing to say and Emily Jane’s expression was unreadable.

He didn’t know what to say.

But he did know what to do.

What he truly _wanted_ to do. He raised his open arms slightly and just like that the stony expression on his daughter’s face crumbled. He could only catch sight of tears for maybe a split-second before she barrelled into him, arms tight around him. He embraced her ardently, moving one arm around her while he cradled the back of her head with his other hand, stroking her hair with his thumb in an instinctive motion of comfort.

He found his voice again, shaky though it was.

“Thank the Constellations you’re alright.”

She was shaking in his arms or maybe he was shaking so hard that he could feel it through her. Maybe they were both shaking. Whatever the case, it prompted him to make soft, comforting noises as though she was still a small girl who would be soothed by them.

“Daddy … ”

His heart constricted at the word spoken in such a small, trembling voice and he held on a little more desperately than necessary. Perhaps in this moment they were their old selves again. A little lost girl found and a father who knew what happiness was because he was holding it.

Kozmotis wasn’t sure how long they would have continued to stand there holding on to each other if it weren’t for the sounds of battle around them. A quick glance told him that the Moonbots and Sanderson were fighting off a few stray Dream Pirates.

They pulled away, smiling hopelessly at the sight of each other’s tear-streaked faces. He couldn’t resist lingering in the moment a little while longer, reaching out and cupping her face in his hands to brush the tears away with his thumbs. She leaned her cheek in his right hand, her gently fingers touching the back of it. He marvelled at the realness of it all. Being able to touch her and actually see her made everything appear so much more real.

He really had his daughter back.

“You are the most beautiful star in all of the galaxies.”

A brief, small smile graced her lips and it was the strongest balm for his wounded soul yet.

“I thought that was supposed to be mother.”

Kozmotis shook his head, smiling with genuine warmth and sincerity. For once the mention of his lost wife didn’t bring the hurt of her loss back.

“Your mother would agree with me.”

There was a flutter of a smile on her face again and Kozmotis vowed to himself that he would give her more reasons to smile. The universe was a less brighter place without it and that would not do.

But that was for later, just like the talks they would need to have. Right now there were Dream Pirates to fight.

As one they both turned toward the battle, although Kozmotis was too unwilling to let go entirely so he took hold of her hand. Emily Jane allowed him to do so and it seemed to come as a welcome gesture, seeing how tightly she clutched back. With remarkable ease she sent forth powerful winds with just a flick of her free hand, knocking the Dream Pirates over and allowing the Moonbots to take them down once and for all even with their clunky movements.

He and Emily Jane rushed to rejoin the group, his daughter letting go of his hand once they reached them so she could drop to her knees and throw her arms around Sanderson. The Star Captain looked absolutely delighted, happily returning the hug and patting her back.

Kozmotis took a step aside to grant them some illusion of privacy though he could still hear his daughter whisper ‘ _thank you_ ’ to Sanderson. The little man momentarily caught his eye, beaming up at him and Kozmotis smiled back with a knowing nod.

Once the Star Captain and his Star had their moment and Emily Jane was pulling away, Kozmotis spoke up.

“Now, let’s get Jack back too.”

Everyone’s faces turned resolute as they nodded and more than ever did Kozmotis realise how wrong he’d been to run off to the prison with the intention of isolating himself. Jack had been right and Kozmotis owed it to him to say that out loud to his face. They only needed to get him back.

With no other Dream Pirate in sight—either they were all vanquished or they had wisely hidden for however much good that would do them until the fleet came—they returned to the ship at a brisk pace.

The first thing Kozmotis did was contact the Headquarters to let them know that they retrieved Jack and took down the Nightmare Galleon while the Moon Clipper was taking off. Just as they left the small moon behind and Kozmotis finished his transmission, an ungodly shrieking started.

It was coming from the brig.

With Emily Jane right by his side and Sanderson following a few paces behind their long stride, they hurried below deck to see what had happened.

As it turned out, Jack had woken up and he looked utterly livid.

He was thankfully still contained, at hearing the noise Kozmotis had feared that it would not the case, and Nightlight was standing right in front of the door in a tense, battle-ready pose, holding a spear expertly. Behind the bars shadows were rolling like the waves of the sea, staying trapped inside the confines of the dark matter prison. Possibly Nightlight’s glow was helping too. The shadows avoided the spots where the light cast by the boy fell inside the prison.

Jack did not look like himself at all. He was more a wild beast, mad and enraged, with the way he threw himself around the cell and snarled.

He stilled abruptly when he caught sight of Kozmotis, the transition from a flurry of movement to utter stillness a jarring sight to behold. The shadows cascaded all around Jack now, making it hard to see anything but the fiercely glowing eyes.

They looked accusing.

“ _You can’t keep me in here._ ”

It was Jack’s voice carrying the echo of thousands of Fearlings.

Kozmotis had to suppress a shiver and shove away the hint of doubt that crept up his spine. How were they ever going to free Jack from the Fearlings? Suddenly nothing seemed like it would be good enough.

He quickly squashed down the doubt knowing that it would lead to fear which would only work to the advantage of the Fearlings. Likely it was because of them and the way they affected the atmosphere he was starting to feel doubt in the first place.

He stepped forward, coming closer to stand before the prison. Nightlight’s glow created a buffer between him and the bars.

“I can and I will until I get what I want.”

There was a pause and then Jack jerked forward so fast it almost startled Kozmotis. Grey fingers closed around the bars as a face was pressed against them, head tilted at an unnatural angle.

“And what is that?”

Kozmotis schooled his face into something unfazed, adopting an attitude of cold indifference.

“Jack.”

“Oh, but daddy dearest,” Jack drawled, eyes flicking over to where Emily Jane was standing and Kozmotis moved automatically to block Jack’s view, bristling. “I’m right here.”

Kozmotis ignored the mocking statement entirely.

“And once we have him, I’ll make sure your kind won’t even exist anymore.”

Jack stared for a moment and then burst out laughing. It was a cruel, harsh laughter. Nothing like the laughs Kozmotis had come to know and hold dear.

Without another glance he turned around and motioned for everyone else to follow him as he strode forward. Nightlight dithered on the spot uncertainly until Kozmotis nodded at him to confirm he should come to.

He was just about to reach the threshold when Jack stopped laughing and spoke up, tone shifting drastically.

“Koz, _please._ Please let me out. Don’t let me stay in here with them! _Please!_ ”

He sounded terrified and utterly like _Jack_.

Kozmotis turned around despite knowing better. The unnatural shifting shadows had receded and Jack stood alone in the desolate cell, looking small and frightened. In the darkness, his skin looked normal.

“Koz, I love you, don’t do this to me.”

Kozmotis wasn’t sure whether to feel enraged or hurt. Both emotions were rising up so fast he couldn’t make sense of them. Those were _Jack’s_ words and that the Fearlings were using those against him was despicable.

Before he could settle on one emotion, Emily Jane touched his arm and gave him a meaningful look.

With a tight expression, he turned and continued on his way, doing his best to ignore the desperate pleading he left behind in his wake.

Coming back on deck, far away from Jack’s voice, was a relief. After getting some Moonbots stationed near the brig, he led the party to the nearest chamber where they could discuss in peace.

The first person he turned to once they were all seated was Nightlight.

“I know that we’ve agreed on what to do beforehand, but if you no longer want to do it, I understand. His situation seems … ”

“Hopeless?” Emily Jane cut in, giving him an icy stare that made him glance away, nodding meekly.

“So did mine, but here I am,” she pressed on, her tone as harsh as the cutting winds she could summon to her side.

“Emily Jane, there are so _many_ inside him.” He looked up, pleading and trying to convey his concern not just for Jack’s wellbeing, but Nightlight’s as well. “We have no idea if Nightlight will have any effect on them at all. It might be too much.”

Anger flashed across her face and it was a fearsome thing to behold. She was about to speak when somebody else beat her to it.

“I’ll try.”

The voice that spoke was an unfamiliar one, ethereal and chimelike. Nightlight had spoken and the surprise was enough to shut both him and his daughter up immediately.

Kozmotis hadn’t even been sure if the boy could speak up 'til now. Maybe the spectral boy was shy and only spoke around those closest to him. If that was the case, Nightlight looked far from shy now. His expression was determined and calm.

Blinking away his surprise, Kozmotis cleared his throat awkwardly. He felt like he should protest, but in the face of such calm confidence, he couldn’t do it.

All he could think to say was …

“Thank you.”

Nightlight smiled brilliantly at him and the sight reassured Kozmotis. By now, he should know better than to be fooled by the boyish appearance. Nightlight was the prince’s guard for very good reason, he could take care of himself.

All the same, Kozmotis didn’t want to run any risks when they could be avoided.

He turned to Sanderson next and before he could even say anything, the Star Captain was already nodding. He raised an amused eyebrow and Sanderson held up his hand, glittering Dreamsand held in his palm. Without having needed to say anything, Sanderson had already understood. Kozmotis couldn’t help but smile and nod, feeling fortunate to have met the little man.

With a tad of hesitance, he looked to his daughter. To his relief, she didn’t look quite so angry anymore, apparently soothed by Nightlight’s reassurance and Kozmotis’ acceptance of the offer. She met his gaze steadily.

“If anything goes wrong, could you use your winds to knock him back?”

“Yes,” she nodded, seeming a little warmer though her expression remained hardened.

This really wasn’t the reunion he’d been hoping for, that was for sure. The fact they’d gotten so close to arguing at such a crucial time indicated that they still had a lot of mending to do. For now Kozmotis was simply glad to have her back and have her support in attempting to save Jack despite that.

He gave each and every one of them a look of gratitude, saving Nightlight for last to let his gaze linger.

“Is there anything you need?”

Nightlight shook his head.

“So … shall we then?”

With everyone agreeing, Kozmotis took the lead and took them below deck again. Dread was already taken hold of him again before they even reached the brig. It was only soothed by Emily Jane taking his hand.

When they got to the brig, Kozmotis had steeled himself, preparing himself for the worst.

It turned out it was unnecessary at the moment. There was no pleading or screaming. Jack was sitting curled up in corner of the cell, shadows coiling all around him. He was quietly regarding them with golden eyes, expression unreadable.

Likely that did not bode well.

Regardless Kozmotis moved onward with Nightlight by his side, leaving Sanderson and Emily Jane standing back.

Jack was watching them impassively until Kozmotis produced the key of the door from his pocket and stuck it in the lock. That definitely got Jack’s attention, his head lifted and the expression on his face changed to a cross between wary and piqued when Kozmotis turned the key.

There was a loud _’click’_ as the door unlocked, the sound echoing off the walls. Jack was slowly rising to his feet, a hungry glint in his eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Kozmotis ignored the question and opened the door enough to let Nightlight in. Instantly the shadows recoiled wherever Nightlight stepped and although Jack had looked like he was about to dart forward only mere seconds ago, he was now pressing himself back against the wall, eyeing the spectral boy as if he was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen.

Kozmotis shut and locked the door behind Nightlight, praying that this idea would work.

He stayed close to the door, key clenched so tightly in his hand it would no doubt leave an indent on his skin.

Nightlight was slowly moving forward, the shadows parting before him. With Nightlight unarmed and seemingly unprepared to face a foe, Jack seemed to think he could easily take the spectral boy down because he lurched forward, ready to pounce.

He never got further than one step because Nightlight intensified his glow. The light turned so bright, Kozmotis had to squint to keep watching. The intensity was hurting his eyes, but he refused to shut them entirely. He needed to keep watching.

Jack was scrambling back, hissing and spitting like some wild creature. The shadows in the cell were in a frenzy, twisting madly and trying to reach out to Nightlight in the shape of long clawed hands only to be repelled. Nightlight himself was the perfect picture of calm, his steps slow and measured. Kozmotis could only barely make out what was happening. From what little he could see through squinted eyes, Nightlight was reaching for Jack with both hands.

There was no escape for Jack, he had effectively cornered himself in his scrambling to keep distance between him and the light.

“What are you- stop it! I said _stop_!”

Nightlight was taking Jack’s hands in his own. A slow, gentle gesture that contrasted with Jack’s desperate struggling to pull away despite having no room to do so. Nightlight held fast and that was the last thing Kozmotis saw before he was forced to shut his eyes as the light turned into an unbearable explosion of intensity.

All he was aware of was the bright white visible through his eyelids and then the otherworldly, ear-splitting shrieking starting again. This time worse than before. He could hear Jack’s voice screaming out in agony, making his stomach twist, as well as many others echoing in his voice. It was like a whole planet’s population screaming out.

_Were they really doing the right thing? What if this killed Jack?_

Kozmotis had to cover his ears to try and dim the awful noise. It didn’t work. He tried focusing in vain on his thoughts, anything to drown out the screaming. _If this didn’t work, they would need to kill Jack anyway,_ he reminded himself grimly.

But he had to believe that wouldn’t be necessary. This _would_ work. It had to.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, listening to the screaming that eventually started to dwindle down to Kozmotis’ huge relief, but at some point he could tell that the light was growing less intense.

In fact, it was starting to fade drastically so that Kozmotis could open his eyes again.

He blinked hard a few times to get his bearings, spotting Nightlight and Jack huddled in one corner of the cell. They were both slumped down on their knees, the spectral boy’s glow dimmed to an alarming degree. He couldn’t really make Jack out, he was obscured by Nightlight’s back. What little he could see made it seem like Jack was unconscious. Kozmotis fervently hoped that was the case because he couldn’t leave Nightlight like that.

He drew his sword and glanced over his shoulder at Emily Jane. She looked pale and her expression was tense though the moment he caught her eye, she nodded determinedly and raised her arms slightly.

With the reassurance that he would likely not have to use his sword when he could count on Emily Jane’s support, he unlocked the door and stepped inside. Cautiously he inched his way forward. The living shadows were nowhere to be found and he reached Nightlight without any trouble presenting itself.

He could peer over the top of Nightlight’s head and he saw that Jack’s eyes were shut, head lolled forward, but he was breathing. They were still holding hands albeit Nightlight’s grip appeared very loose.

“Nightlight?”

The spectral boy made no indication that he’d heard him so Kozmotis assumed, with a great sense of worry, that Nightlight was unconscious as well.

Carefully he reached down to place his hands under Nightlight’s arms while still holding on to his sword and keeping a wary eye on Jack. The spectral boy glowed a tiny bit brighter upon Kozmotis’ touch. Kozmotis would have marvelled at it if he wasn’t so busy marvelling over what had happened to Jack now that he could see him properly. His hands had returned to their normal skin colour and the grey in his face seemed less pronounced.

Kozmotis wasn’t aware he was staring until Nightlight stirred in his hands, head lifting back to see who was holding him. Upon seeing him, a weak smile appeared on Nightlight’s face and he nodded at Jack.

“Yes, you did great.”

Nightlight beamed at the words, glow flickering.

Ever so gently Kozmotis picked the boy up. He weighed nothing so it was easy to manoeuvre and cradle him in one arm like precious china. He practically was the most precious person they had on board considering he was the only one of his kind. Whatever his kind was.

Kozmotis kept his eye on Jack as he swiftly walked backwards out of the cell, only feeling at ease once he shut and locked the door again. Only then could he breathe more easily. Whatever Nightlight had done had worked to some degree, just not entirely yet. Parts of Jack remained grey and his hair was still stained inky black. They had to stay wary.

For now, Nightlight needed tending to though Kozmotis wasn’t entirely sure how to help him. The boy did look like he needed a good rest so Kozmotis turned around, offering a small, reassuring smile to Emily Jane and Sanderson who relaxed a bit at seeing it.

He cast a last glance over his shoulder at Jack’s prone figure, hesitant to leave him when he wasn’t sure how Jack was doing, before steeling himself and carrying Nightlight out of the brig.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that the spectral boy did not sleep, but he did ‘recharge’ in a way. When Kozmotis had started fretting about his youngest charge, Sanderson had talked to him in thought speak.

_“Keep light in your heart and he will be fine.”_

It had reassured Kozmotis for a little while. Sadly it was only a short period of time because Nightlight had to repeat the process a few times and each time he came back a dimmer than before, needing longer to recover. Each time they had to endure Jack’s excruciating cries and Kozmotis wasn’t sure how long he would be able to keep this up. He _could_ heed his daughter’s words and simply not be near the brig when Nightlight worked, but Kozmotis felt that he had to see this through to the end. It was his mistake after all.

It didn’t help that ‘Jack’ spoke to him in increasingly more desperate words and pleas.

Like the third time when Jack remained conscious throughout the whole ordeal. As Kozmotis had gone in to retrieve Nightlight, Jack had been too weak to move or do anything other than stare at Kozmotis with tired eyes.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Jack’s voice sounded wretched, all hoarse and cracked from all the screaming. He looked and sounded so miserable it tore into Kozmotis’ heart. He couldn’t let himself be fooled, he had to harden himself.

“I told you why.”

Kozmotis refused to meet Jack’s gaze as he pulled Nightlight away, sword at the ready. Despite his attempt, he could still see Jack’s accusing gaze in his peripheral vision.

“This is all your fault, Koz.”

“I know,” he said simply. It wasn’t a truth he needed to deny.

Seeing that it didn’t work as hoped, Jack continued with something else that struck Kozmotis a little harder; an unspoken fear he’d been keeping to himself from the start.

“I’ll die if you keep doing this.”

It made Kozmotis pause briefly, faltering, until he got a grip on himself. He hated himself for what he did next, hardening his heart as he glanced back with a cold gaze, mimicking the stoniness that his daughter occasionally showed.

“Rather that than have you stay possessed.”

With that he shut the door and Jack’s expression turned livid, the shadows weakly swaying as their master growled. It was a relief to see because it meant that it been the Fearlings speaking all along and Kozmotis sincerely hoped that Jack wasn’t aware enough to have heard what he said. Even though it was likely Jack would agree with him, it wasn’t something Kozmotis wanted him to hear.

Unfortunately it got worse from there on out. Accusations turned to pleas that became increasingly more desperate that sounded so Jack-like that Kozmotis was starting to have a hard time coping.

Now every time they approached the cell, Jack would go into a panic, looking anguished and pleading desperately.

“Please just kill me! It _hurts._ It hurts so much, Koz, please just make it _stop_.”

When Jack started begging to be killed, Kozmotis couldn’t take it any more. He had to leave to go above deck and away from it all before he did something rash, leaving Emily Jane and Sanderson to keep an eye on things and help Nightlight.

He stood on deck, breathing in deep, heaving breaths to try and keep his composure, hands covering his eyes to shut everything out save for the cool air he was breathing. He didn’t want to see the brightness of the stars surrounding them as the ship drifted along the seas of the galaxies. They had set course for the old prison planet, just in case something went wrong and they needed some place more isolated.

Kozmotis wasn’t looking forward to being anywhere near it again, but at the moment he would rather be there than here on the ship where he was essentially torturing someone he loved dearly.

Before he could get himself back together, though stars knew how long he’d been standing there already, his hands were pried away from his face. Too startled at the sudden contact, Kozmotis didn’t resist and found himself blinking at his daughter’s face. Her expression was soft, the grip on his hands turning firm with her earnestness as she spoke.

“If I could be saved, so can he.”

Kozmotis didn’t trust his voice so he nodded wordlessly. It probably wasn’t too convincing when his expression remained bleak.

“He looks better with each passing day. You’ve seen it too.”

She was right. With every session, Jack did start looking more like himself again as the Fearlings were purged out of his body. His skin had mostly returned to the usual paleness Kozmotis was used to and even the blackness of his hair was receding slowly.

Which made the pleas all the more unbearable.

Emily Jane let go of his hands and instead moved her arms around his neck, placing one hand on the back of his head to pull him in. Kozmotis did not have to lean forward much, his little girl had grown so tall.

“Have hope, Father.”

Kozmotis made a noise in the back of his throat that he hoped she would interpret as the affirmative he meant it to be as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight for comfort. She moved her hand through his hair soothingly and the shame of having his daughter see him like this fell away.

Just as he was starting to feel calmer and more composed, they were interrupted.

Nightlight darted above deck, waving his arms wildly. It would have been a big sign of trouble if it weren’t for the elated grin on the spectral boy’s face. Emily Jane pulled away enough to turn her head and look at Nightlight, her eyes as wide as his.

Kozmotis didn’t dare believe the thought that occurred to him at seeing Nightlight so happy and energetic after a session.

“Is he … ?”

Nightlight laughed his perfect laugh.

He and Emily Jane exchanged disbelieving glances before a smile broke out on her face.

“Go,” she said, nudging him in the direction of the brig.

Kozmotis did not have to be told twice. He gave her a gentle squeeze in gratitude and followed Nightlight down as the spectral boy disappeared below deck once more.

Kozmotis wasn’t sure how he felt, all his insides seemed to be flipping back and forth. Especially his heart was beating hard against his ribcage. He was in the state of suspense and disbelief. He had to hurry his pace to keep up with Nightlight.

Arriving in the brig, the first thing that Kozmotis noticed was the cell door left wide open. Inside the cell, Jack lay slumped against one side of the cell, fast asleep. Sanderson stood by his side.

Kozmotis slowed his approach as Nightlight stepped aside to let him go on ahead. With each step he felt like the illusion might break any second and Jack would wake up and still be possessed.

It didn’t, Jack stayed asleep and he looked exactly how Kozmotis left him at the prison. White, silvery hair, pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. Kozmotis breathed shakily, stopping just short of actually reaching Jack.

His gaze darted furtively from Sanderson and his warm smile to Nightlight who was still beaming at him encouragingly.

“Is he really … ? There are no Fearlings left? You’re sure?”

Nightlight nodded, as did Sanderson.

Kozmotis took the last few steps and dropped to his knees. He was dimly aware of Sanderson stepping aside and giving him more room, most of his attention was solely on Jack. There was something glittery near his eyes. _Dreamsand._ He wanted to ask why that had been necessary though the more he stared at Jack, the less important it seemed and Kozmotis soon forgot the question entirely.

With a trembling hand he reached out and touched Jack’s cheek. He was slightly cold to the touch which wasn’t too surprising considering the temperature in the brig. Kozmotis was oddly struck by the urge to whisk Jack away to the warmest bed he could find on the ship.

He could take Jack out of this cell and do exactly that. The knowledge made him laugh in amazement, tears in his eyes as he let his fingers travel down Jack’s cheek.

But before he did that …

He turned to Nightlight who had moved to stand beside Sanderson. Kozmotis was so overwhelmed he didn’t know how to possibly express his gratitude, not through words or actions. Part of him wanted to embrace the boy while his more sensible side argued that he did not know Nightlight nearly well enough for such a display that could be considered untoward.

Nightlight held no such reserves.

At having Kozmotis staring at him and looking so lost, Nightlight stepped forward and spread his arms. Kozmotis smiled helplessly and embraced the boy wholeheartedly.

“ _Thank you,_ ” he whispered earnestly. Nightlight laughed and Kozmotis could feel it reverberate through him. When he pulled back, Sanderson looked at him so expectantly that he felt compelled to hug the Star Captain as well.

With his thanks said, he gingerly gathered Jack in his arms to go carry him to the room with the biggest bed on board. He was fairly certain that the room belonged to the Tsar and Tsarina, a fact that Jack might get a kick out off. In a joyful daze he started on his way, the familiar weight cradled carefully against him.

He couldn’t believe it.

They had Jack back.

He only needed to wake up now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to exams, there will be no update next week, but the schedule will resume as normal after that! Likely this fic will be 14 chapters long, I'll make the number official once I've written everything out.


	12. Roads to Recovery

Jack didn’t wake up. It had been days since Kozmotis had put him in the Lunanoffs' chambers and Jack had hardly stirred since. If he was lucky, he would catch Jack turning in his sleep and that was about it. He was beside himself with worry despite Sanderson’s reassures that it was fine, Jack just needed some time.

No man slept this much. Not even them when they were sleep-deprived after staying awake for days to avoid nightmares back at the prison.

This was the longest Jack had ever slept. Perhaps he _was_ catching up on all the sleep he’d missed out on at the prison planet and Kozmotis had no doubt that being possessed by thousands of Fearlings and then purged of them would leave a person exhausted.

But still, he wished Jack would wake up soon because only then could they be sure that Jack was truly alright.

Most of the time Kozmotis could be found by Jack’s bedside, keeping watch or having dozed off himself as Jack wasn’t the only one who had some sleep to catch up on. It made him feel guilty because he was supposed to be spending more time with his daughter that he got reunited with, but he would not have peace of mind until Jack woke up. Fortunately Emily Jane understood this and actually joined his side occasionally.

Sanderson and Nightlight helped out as well. Nightlight kept him company or dragged him out for a walk around the Moon Clipper whenever he’d stayed put too long. He was the one who made sure Kozmotis didn’t languish away by Jack’s bedside.

Sanderson in turn watched over Jack’s dreams, keeping them peaceful though not always intervening whenever Jack appeared to be suffering from nightmares. Kozmotis had asked why not and Sanderson told him this too was necessary. It would help Jack heal. Kozmotis wasn’t sure if he agreed, but seeing as he wasn’t a Dreamsmith himself, he kept that to himself.

Now that they had recovered Jack and the Fearlings were vanquished from his body, the ship was turned around to make their way back to the capital Constellation of Zeus. Not having to go see the prison again was a small burden off Kozmotis’ back. He’d already informed the Headquarters that Jack was freed and the majority of the Fearlings were gone thanks to that. They only needed to worry about the stray Dream Pirates, Nightmare Men and possible Fearlings Jack might have created in his path of destruction. With the fleet reassembled, the army had that covered.

For once Kozmotis did not feel the need to join them and thoughts of revenge were lackluster at best. He had his daughter and Jack back. He wanted nothing more than to move on together with them. As a family. He was done chasing demons out there in the universe while avoiding the ones he needed to face inside himself.

It was a revelation that occurred to him while he was nodding off yet again and it brought him some modicum of peace.

He woke up, that sense of calm still pervading, to someone singing. It was a voice he would recognise anywhere, one that sounded like faraway memories …

“Nightlight, shine bright,  
Sweet dreams I bestow,  
Sleep tight, all night,  
Forever I will glow.”

It was almost enough to make him fall asleep again. He forced his eyes open, blinking blearily at the sight of Nightlight seated on the edge of Jack’s bed, singing to him.

Kozmotis kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt nor wanting to intrude on a moment that might be private. He didn’t know if he was supposed to hear or see any of this.

Although when Nightlight looked at him and noticed he was awake before Kozmotis could hurriedly shut his eyes, the spectral boy smiled. That was indication enough that it was alright so Kozmotis returned the smile and sat up straighter, rolling his stiff shoulders and waking up more fully.

That Nightlight was giving Jack good dreams likely only meant one thing.

“Was he suffering from a nightmare again?”

Nightlight nodded.

“Thank you.”

The spectral boy saluted him and the gesture made Kozmotis chuckle. He was stretching himself out and yawning when Nightlight held out his hand to him. Kozmotis glanced down at it, puzzled until he saw the glittering sand in the boy’s palm.

“Ah, no. I’ve slept enough.”

Nightlight raised an eyebrow at him very pointedly. Weirdly enough it actually did make Kozmotis feel chastised.

“Maybe later,” he added sheepishly and Nightlight scrutinised him a moment longer before nodding and pocketing the sand away, apparently placated.

Kozmotis stood up, wincing at the stiffness that remained in his limbs. A little moving around after sitting in the same position seemed in order.

“Let’s walk,” he said and Nightlight perked up instantly. It didn’t matter that the spectral boy had already shown him every nook and cranny of the Moon Clipper, Nightlight would happily do so over and over again. The boy’s presence was soothing and the walks cleared his mind so Kozmotis had come to appreciate them. Even if Nightlight often tried baiting him into a game of chase. For as powerful a being of light he was, most of the time he acted in a way befitting of his young appearance.

Gently he brushed Jack’s bangs from his face, murmuring promises to be back soon before Nightlight caught hold of Kozmotis’ sleeve and tugged impatiently. Having the Lord High General of the Galaxies follow him around seemed to please Nightlight, so Kozmotis never resisted. He owed the boy a great debt of gratitude and if a little bit of his time made Nightlight happy, who was he to deny it?

So off they went again and this time even Sanderson joined them to Nightlight’s delight.

 

* * *

 

It was an enjoyable walk—for two beings who hardly spoke aloud, they sure were chatty in their own way—and they were just returning to the deck when Emily Jane rushed to meet them, her expression urgent.

“He’s awake.”

Nothing more needed to be said. They bolted after her as she turned and rushed back the way she came. There were questions racing through Kozmotis’ mind as he followed though the tenseness and haste made them impossible to voice. He would find out and see for himself soon enough.

Emily Jane had stopped in front of the bedroom door, looking at them with a commanding air.

“Calmly,” she said deliberately.

Kozmotis looked at her questioningly though the look on her face allowed no room for argument so he yielded without asking why.

He took a deep breath, trying to slow the beating of his heart that was hammering in his chest. Emily Jane waited for them (mostly he and Nightlight) to settle down and then opened the door to let them inside.

Kozmotis immediately understood her bid for a calm approach. Jack was huddled up in the bed, arms wrapped tight around his legs and knees pressed to his chest, his eyes just peering over the top of them. He looked _scared._

Even more so when he spotted Nightlight. There was a fearful gasp and then he turned into a flurry of movement, darting away to the farthest corner of the room to hide behind a fancy-looking stool.

Kozmotis and Nightlight stared at each other with startled, helpless expressions before Nightlight stepped back with a pained expression.

He gave the boy an apologetic look that Nightlight shook off with a mournful smile.

While everyone stood back, Kozmotis approached slowly, hands out to appear less threatening.

“Jack? It’s alright. No one is going to hurt you. You’re safe now.”

Kozmotis had to stop a few feet away because the closer he got, the more frantic Jack appeared to get. There was no recognition in his eyes. He seemed like a frightened, wild animal.

In a desperate bid to put Jack at ease, Kozmotis crouched down to his level, carefully peering around the stool.

“Jack, it’s me,” he pleaded. “Kozmotis. It’s _Koz_.”

Jack was clinging on to the chair as if it was his only salvation, back pressed against the wall so hard that it suggested he was trying to merge with it. His wide, fearful eyes glanced between him and the doorway where everyone else was standing.

“Jack-” His voice broke, cutting off any reassurances that might have come to mind.

There were footsteps behind him and when they came to a stop, a hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Father,” Emily Jane’s soft voice urged.

He cast a desperate glance over his shoulder at her and although her expression was sorrowful and gentle, she shook her head firmly as she squeezed his shoulder, silently imploring him to get up and move away.

With a great deal of reluctance, he slowly rose to his feet and let her take his hand. He couldn’t keep his gaze off Jack’s scared blue eyes even as she tugged him with her until something toddled past them.

Sanderson.

The calm Sanderson exuded was probably more helpful than his fretful energy, Kozmotis understood that and yet it stung when Jack didn’t seem nearly as frightened of the little man’s approach than his own.

He was still partly following his daughter’s pull without any actual resistance. That changed when he realised she was trying to guide him out the door into the hallway where Nightlight was already standing. He dug his heels in, refusing to budge any further. Even if he couldn’t approach Jack, he still wanted to be near and watch over him.

She whirled on him, her lips pursed, and briefly he was struck with the image of a little girl pouting her lips stubbornly.

The expression of irritation passed, leaving her with a frown on her face.

“Leave Jack to him,” she said compellingly, giving his hand a gentle tug. “If anyone can help him now, it’s Sandy.”

Kozmotis knew it was true. Sanderson had been the one to calm the rage that had festered inside his daughter for so long. If anyone could calm Jack and get him to open up, it would be the ever-patient Star Captain. He knew how to handle the situation a lot better than Kozmotis did. He would be useless or even make matters worse, knowing his luck.

Still …

He glanced longingly to where Sanderson had seated himself on the floor, Jack peeking at him with a mixture of wariness and curiosity.

“Father.”

“You’re right,” he said with a sigh, forcing himself to look away and move into the hallway so Emily Jane could shut the door behind them. Nightlight patted his other hand sympathetically, managing to draw a tight smile out of Kozmotis.

He was considering just lingering outside the door when Emily Jane started pulling him down the hall, either knowing what he was thinking or having anticipated what he would want to do. Whatever the case, he was tugged along by his daughter and she didn’t stop until they were almost on the other side of the ship in the miniature garden. (It was still weird to him that a ship had a garden but this was more a luxury ship meant for living in than the battleships Kozmotis was used to.)

He was urged to sit down at the table present in the center of the garden and he had to swallow slightly hysterical laughter when it reminded him of the play pretend tea parties he’d been forced to sit through when Emily Jane was a little girl.

She sat across from him primly, Nightlight taking up another chair in between them by perching on it like some overgrown, glowing bird.

“He’ll need time, Father.” She spoke in a neutral tone, regarding him with a calm expression. “What he’s been through isn’t something a person can recover from just like that. Likely he will never be the same. ”

The words were a knife twist in his gut, hurting and making him feel foolish at the same time. He’d been so focused on getting Jack back that he hadn’t much considered what came after. He’d always known in the back of his head that it would be the case. Even when he got Jack back, things would never be the same and of course Jack suffered.

He’d just hoped that Jack wouldn’t remember anything. That it would be like waking up from a bad dream for him.

But he’d always suspected that it wouldn’t be the case and now he was forced to accept that. There was no denying the situation when he’d been forced to face it.

“I know,” he murmured softly.

She gave him a look that made it clear she was unconvinced by that weak statement.

“Did you?”

“More or less,” he replied wryly. “I just hoped it would be- better.”

She seemed a lot more satisfied by that reply, nodding thoughtfully.

Nightlight was glancing between them, his expression bordering on forlorn. The boy’s low mood was probably caused by Jack’s reaction upon seeing him. Jack must have remembered something or at least developed an association between pain and seeing Nightlight that must have stuck.

Kozmotis had been there on the forefront as well so likely Jack associated the pain with him too. It certainly explained his reaction. It was a painful thought he shied away from. What they had done had been necessary in ridding Jack’s body of Fearlings. There had been no other way when the method they had gone with had been a gamble in the first place. It had worked and Jack was alive, that’s what mattered. As long as he lived there was hope for recovery yet.

Although that didn’t make the hurt sting any less.

He took pity on the spectral boy, figuring that sitting here and listening to glum discussions between him and his daughter would not help him cheer up. He also felt responsible so he spoke to the boy next.

“It’s alright, Nightlight. It wasn’t your fault. He’ll understand that when he gets better.”

Nightlight seemed to take heart, his glow had dimmed upon Jack’s reaction and now it grew brighter again.

Kozmotis mustered an encouraging smile.

“I’m sure the Moonmice would love a good chase right now.”

That brought an enthusiastic grin to Nightlight’s face, just as Kozmotis expected it would, and he jumped off the chair to run toward the exit. The spectral boy wavered and came to a stop right before reaching it, glancing back Kozmotis’ way with an uncertain expression.

“Everything will work out just fine,” he called out, putting as much confidence as he could manage in the words.

Nightlight paused then smiled and nodded before running off to bother the Moonmice.

“Now you just have to actually believe what you’re saying,” Emily Jane said, a hint of a tease in her voice that made the accusation more light-hearted.

“I’m sure I will eventually,” Kozmotis countered casually, looking back to her with a small, wry smile on his face. He found himself grateful for her presence all over again, her firm way of dealing with him was very much needed at the moment. If she wasn’t around, Kozmotis was certain he would be a lot less level-headed and that would have done Jack no good.

Jack was awake now and for the moment there was nothing Kozmotis could do. He had to accept that fact and leave the matter to Sanderson. He was the best person for the job and possibly the only one. He could trust the Star Captain after everything he’d done for his daughter. Sanderson genuinely cared about everyone he met on his way.

So Kozmotis might as well focus on the things that he could do something about.

Like mending his relationship with his daughter.

Everything had been so hectic there hadn’t been much time for sitting down for a talk and after that he’d been too consumed with his worry for Jack. He needed to learn to stop being so single-mindedly goal-driven. It was high time he gave his daughter the attention and care she deserved.

Emily Jane would not open up to him out of her own accord so it was up to Kozmotis to start that particular conversation. Which wouldn’t be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever was.

“What about you?”

She blinked, caught off guard and noticing the shift of his demeanour with a suspicious narrowing of her eyes.

“What about me?”

He made a pacifying gesture with his hand, attempting to ease her defensiveness before she could throw up all her walls.

“How are _you_ doing?”

“I’m fine,” she said with a frown, her defensive attitude faltering at the innocuous question. It was replaced with an uncertainty of where this was going and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

She reminded him so strongly of himself he almost wanted to laugh. _His precious child._ If only she had taken after her mother’s open-heartedness a little more, but considering everything Emily Jane had been through, it was understandable how mistrustful and solitary she had become.

With her defenses lowered again, now seemed like a good time to ask the question that he’d often wondered about.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Yes.” The reply was instantaneous, but then she realised what she was saying and quickly shook her head. “No.”

Her expression faltered and she glanced down at her hands resting in her lap. There was hesitation showing in the way her brows furrowed and her lips pressed together, hands wringing. Kozmotis waited patiently without interrupting, knowing there was more to her answer.

“… Yes, but I know it wasn’t your fault,” she said eventually, glancing up at him while her head was still bowed, making her long hair obscure parts of her face like black curtains. “So … ”

“So you don’t know why you feel that way?”

She looked away again, nodding.

“It’s normal. You waited for so long, of course you’re still angry. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know.”

“Of course it does-”

He held up his hand, halting her indignant response. She was staring at him in disbelief and he could see her jaw tighten in frustration. There was a storm brewing in her eyes. Either anger at herself, at him, or both. It was a good sign, Kozmotis figured. It meant he was getting through.

“No. Just because I didn’t know you were alive doesn’t mean that what happened to you was okay nor does it make your feelings any less valid.”

There was the slightest tremor in her lip and although Kozmotis knew he was upsetting her and it hurt to do so, he pressed on. It was important that he did. Emily Jane had wished to be washed clean of her old life, to be able to let go of her sorrows. Only if she threw them out here and told him the words that needed to be said would she be able to move on.

He would face his daughter’s wrath and sorrows, for once not because he thought he deserved it, but because she deserved to be freed.

“I want you tell me how you feel.”

She was standing up swiftly, posture rigid as she shook her head.

Kozmotis continued relentlessly, staying seated and watching her with a calmness that must be infuriating to see in such a situation.

“I abandoned you, doesn’t make you angry? I didn’t look. Not once.”

Maybe pushing someone who could summon forth storms wasn’t the best idea. The wind was already picking up and tossing her hair around wildly. Her expression had darkened and it was obvious she was trying to hold back her anger, her fists clenched tight and her teeth gritted.

Still, Kozmotis insisted.

“ _Tell me._ ”

She was already pushed to the edge of anger and it came easily to her now. It was the last push she needed, his annoying insistence despite upsetting her while appearing utterly calm himself. He wasn’t really, he felt absolutely terrible for doing this, but he had years of practice keeping his composure in front of his men.

She couldn’t hold it back anymore and her fury exploded into a wail that tore into his very soul, reverberating through his bones. The composure she’d tried to keep was gone, leaving her in a mess of tears and trembling with anger. A small storm had settled in the garden, the wind tugging at him savagely.

“You never came for me!” She cried out, her anguish palpable in her voice alone. “I waited and waited and I kept hoping- for so many _years_ -” She stopped abruptly, her sobbing overtaking her.

Kozmotis tried to bear it all calmly. However, he wasn’t succeeding very well. There was the sting of tears in his own eyes and he couldn’t breathe, the rise of emotions constricting his throat.

Emily Jane was shaking like a leaf in the wind though she stubbornly wiped away her tears even despite the fact they kept flowing and glared at him so fiercely it was almost frightening.

“And then you defeated them all and I knew you never even looked for me.”

There was a war waging inside her, a battle between fury and her immense grief, that made her expression twist and Kozmotis couldn’t take it anymore. He got to his feet, moving around the table to approach regardless of the wind nearly blowing him over.

She half-raised her arms to keep him at bay.

“I _hated_ you,” she said with venom and yet she looked so very, very lost.

Kozmotis only paused for a small moment at her warning gesture and then continued his approach, arms held out for an embrace. She didn’t go down without a fight, pounding his chest with the side of her fists when he got within reach. Kozmotis didn’t flinch away, he kept still until her hits started faltering, the anger beginning to seep out of her. When the blows turned to feeble knocks, he wrapped his arms around her and held her trembling frame close.

Soon there was no anger left, only a deep sorrow that made her voice a quiet, shaky thing through her sobs.

“You _promised_. You promised you’d be back soon.”

“I know,” he said, his own voice reflecting her misery. He was crying now, the tears flowing freely. He moved one hand to the back of her head, stroking her hair soothingly. “I’m so sorry.”

She buried her face against his chest, sobbing quietly. Kozmotis held on tightly and for a long while no more words were exchanged, they simply held on to each other and let their grief pass through them. They only pulled apart when the both of them had no more tears left to spill.

“I know nothing I do will ever make up for it,” Kozmotis said, reaching up to tenderly wipe away his daughter’s tears and offering her a gentle smile in spite of that painful truth. “So I’d like to start over.”

She tilted her head, seeming to consider the proposition for a brief moment before nodding.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

It was a relief to hear. Kozmotis stepped back properly, letting go of her and then holding out his hand. Emily Jane glanced down at it in confusion.

“Hi, I’m Kozmotis Pitchiner. I’m your dad.”

She snorted in amusement, the corners of her eyes crinkling. It was as good to see as hearing her laugh was. Although it was clear that she found it ridiculous from the way she shook her head, she still straightened and took his hand, shaking it.

“Hi dad, I’m Emily Jane.”

“Good to meet you again, Emily Jane.”

He squeezed her hand gently and she smiled at him, the smile seeming brighter than any she’d shown him since their reunion. The storm had long settled by now and everything was somehow more calm and clear. A burden appeared to be lifted from the both of them.

They still had a long way to go in getting to know each other again. Kozmotis wasn’t the same man he was when he’d last seen her and she had grown up without him, the both of them had changed a lot. But this was a start and it was good enough.

 

* * *

 

His relationship with his daughter was on the mend, but unfortunately progress with Jack remained much slower. Kozmotis had tried, twice, to approach him again and both times Jack had reacted negatively. Sanderson wouldn’t stand for him trying a third time and banished him from what had become Jack’s room. He would only be allowed to see Jack when Sanderson thought Jack was ready.

Perhaps that was for the better. It pained him to see what Jack had become.

They had conquered the shadows at the price of having lights extinguished, Jack’s included. Now he was a fearful creature who skittered away at the slightest startle and it was hard to bear knowing that it was all Kozmotis’ fault.

So he let Sanderson do whatever he needed to do. He was the only one who Jack allowed anywhere near him.

Kozmotis took some solace in the knowledge he wasn’t the only one banned from Jack’s room. Nightlight’s curious peeks inside had also earned the Star Captain’s ire.

To keep himself distracted and make the waiting easier, he played the games he used to play with Jack at the prison with Nightlight and Emily Jane. His daughter occasionally had to be roped into it, but Nightlight was always eager to play. The games were a nice way to pass the time and he figured it was a good bonding activity.

Sometimes he and Emily Jane played chess alone (as Nightlight did not like the game) and that was always enjoyable. There was no lingering tension between them and they played the game calmly. Unlike with Jack, who took great joy in taunting him whenever he lost, Kozmotis merely felt proud whenever Emily Jane defeated him. It was their quiet family time on their journey back.

Once they were close to civilisation again, they made a brief stop at a planet to get some fresh food and simply to stretch their legs. Kozmotis took the opportunity to walk Emily Jane around the market, enjoying the way she seemed to marvel at everything. He bought her new clothes as a treat (because of course he could not resist spoiling his little girl when he could finally do it again) and got some Moonpeaches for Jack in the hope that the light inside them would help him in some way, if only to give him some peace with the calm they provided.

It was an offering that Sanderson did not mind.

Slowly but surely Jack was showing signs of improvement, Sanderson told him. Although Kozmotis couldn’t help but feel a little vexed when Emily Jane was invited to be the first person to go visit Jack even if it made sense. She didn’t inspire the same fearful reaction in Jack he and Nightlight did. Both she and Sanderson had always stood well away from Jack’s cell during the ‘purges’ and likely they couldn’t even be seen when Nightlight’s glow turned intense.

He and the spectral boy had been close and noticeable so it was perfectly logical that Emily Jane was chosen to be the first to visit.

And yet it stung a little. Emily Jane had smiled apologetically and Kozmotis felt both guilty and frustrated at himself until she emerged again an hour later.

Jack was doing better, she told him, and Kozmotis found some comfort in getting another source of information on Jack. She was more apt to tell him the little details what with being more verbal than Sanderson. Apparently Jack hadn’t said a single word since he’d woken up, but supposedly he was making progress, no longer growing terrified at the drop of a hat.

It was hard to believe when he didn’t get to see it for himself.

Which, fortunately, he finally got to a few days later when Sanderson beckoned to him.

Even though he’d been eager and anxious to see Jack again, now that Sanderson was leading him to Jack’s bedroom, Kozmotis found himself suddenly nervous and uncertain. He didn’t know what to expect and he feared another adverse reaction from Jack. What if seeing him made Jack slip back in his progress? Sanderson seemed fairly certain that it would not happen, Kozmotis had his doubts. There was no way to know for sure until the moment was there.

He hesitated when they reached the door and Sanderson would have none of it, ushering him inside with no delay despite his spluttered half-protests. The door was promptly shut behind him and with Sanderson out of his view, he was forced to look up. His breath was caught in his throat as his eyes landed on Jack.

Jack was sitting up in bed, the blanket loosely draped over his lap, looking more tired than ever. There were deep circles under his eyes and the nightgown he was put in seemed to hang very loosely from his too-thin frame. It made Kozmotis question Sanderson’s definition of ‘better’ as his stomach clenched. Jack looked so _fragile_.

He didn’t look scared though, so he supposed that was one improvement.

Kozmotis cleared his throat uncomfortably, slowly starting to walk towards the bed. Dull, blue eyes followed his every move, wary and unreadable. There wasn’t even a hint of recognition to be found on Jack’s face as Kozmotis carefully sat down in the chair next to the bed. It was unnerving.

“Hello, Jack.”

He kept his voice soft and gentle, even mustering a small smile. As he was told to expect, there was no response. Jack simply watched him. It made Kozmotis terribly unsure of what to do. Jack’s gaze almost seemed accusing, though that was likely his own imagination.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a lengthy pause. “I don’t know if you can even hear me or understand me, but- I’m so sorry.”

There wasn’t even a hint that Jack understood what he was saying as Kozmotis stared at him pleadingly. He desperately wanted Jack to know and on impulse, he reached out because touch was the best way he knew how to communicate his sincerity. That got a reaction, just not the one he was hoping for.

Jack jerked back, leaning away with wide eyes, and Kozmotis hurriedly pulled his arm back, holding up his hand in a placating gesture.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Jack didn’t relax until Kozmotis lowered his hand again, though he seemed more wary than before. It left Kozmotis at a complete loss of what to do or say. This was hard, so much harder than he expected.

So they sat in tense silence until Sanderson came to fetch him.

The next visit went a little bit better thanks to Emily Jane’s tips and Kozmotis’ own resolve not to abandon Jack no matter how hard things got. Jack didn’t (or couldn’t) talk, so Kozmotis filled the silence for them as per Emily Jane’s suggestion. He would tell him stories, read to him or sing the songs his sailors used to sing, hoping that those would spark some memory or _something_.

According to Sanderson it was helping, so he kept it up though Kozmotis saw no visible change himself. Gradually he was allowed to stay longer and longer in Jack’s room and like before, it became the place where Kozmotis could be found most of the time. Sanderson was often with them as well and sometimes Kozmotis was joined by his daughter who he could take turns with when it came to reading aloud. On a rare few occasions she would even sing with him.

Sadly Nightlight was still barred from the room so Kozmotis made it a point to spend time with the spectral boy as well, making sure that he would not feel too left out. He divided his time between tending to Jack and taking care of the ship and its crew.

It became something of a routine and Kozmotis was beginning to find some inkling of peace with the fact that Jack’s situation might not change. As much as Sanderson claimed there was improvement and that Jack would continue to improve, it wasn’t a progress he could see. It was unconscious and out of his reach, he could not see into Jack’s dreams and unconscious mind the way Sanderson could.

So, as hard as it was to swallow, it was something that Kozmotis felt he should come to terms with. Even if Jack never changed and stayed a wary, wild creature, Kozmotis was resolved to keep taking care of him. That was the least he could do for Jack.

For that reason, tangible progress came as a shock to Kozmotis when it happened.

It was a morning like any other where he’d woken up by Jack’s bedside. That had pretty much become the norm by now, he would usher Jack to sleep with soft songs or stories before eventually nodding off himself. Although Emily Jane and Sanderson didn’t approve, they didn’t have the heart to get him to quit and sleep in a proper bed.

There was nothing different about waking up with stiff limbs in a chair that wasn’t very comfortable for sleeping in. What _was_ different was that he woke up to Jack staring at him. In itself that wasn’t something odd, but there was something in Jack’s gaze that kept Kozmotis suddenly transfixed and unable to speak.

Dull eyes no longer appeared dull and glassy. There was life in them and when their gazes met, something even more remarkable happened.

“Koz?”


	13. Through Better and Worse

Kozmotis’ heart leapt to his throat, whatever remnants of sleep that fogged up his mind dissipated instantly at the sound of Jack’s hoarse whisper. As if struck by lightning, he froze with shock, staring with wide eyes. After what felt like ages of not hearing Jack’s voice and seeing him lucid, it didn’t seem real. Perhaps Sanderson had given him a dream and he was still asleep.

That notion shattered utterly when Jack lifted his hand, reaching out to him. Whether it was real or not suddenly didn’t matter and Kozmotis snapped out of his shock. Without hesitating he took Jack’s hand, resisting the urge to grip tight and instead carefully cradling Jack’s hand in his own as though it was a small fragile bird. He placed his other hand on top, bowing forward so that his lips brushed against Jack’s fingers reverently.

There was confusion written all over Jack’s drowsy face, but at the gesture it lifted slightly in favour of a small smile. Jack’s lips quirked up and Kozmotis could feel his heart pulsing even in his throat.

“Hey, Jack.”

His own voice was a soft, trembling thing and he watched in awe how Jack reacted to it, the smile growing a little wider. Jack squeezed his hand gently and it felt so solid, this had to be real. Kozmotis needed no more convincing. Jack was finally back.

The magic of the moment didn’t last though. Jack blinked and the confusion was back as he looked away from Kozmotis to glance around the room.

“Where are we?”

Jack’s voice sounded so raspy from disuse that Kozmotis felt compelled to grab the glass of water on the nightstand rather than answer right away. He pushed the glass in Jack’s free hand, still holding the other lightly in his own. Jack frowned at him though he didn’t protest, following the silent directive and taking a sip.

That Jack didn’t know hopefully meant that he didn’t remember.

Kozmotis took a deep breath, trying to ease the tightness in his throat so that he could speak more freely. The swell of emotions threatened to choke him up, but he had to remain calm lest he made Jack even more confused which could potentially lead to Jack getting distressed and that was the last thing he wanted. He breathed out slowly, blinking hard to stop the stinging in his eyes, gaining composure before speaking.

“We’re on board a ship. You’re safe.”

Jack was setting the glass down, brows furrowed in obvious growing confusion. He was moving to sit up and Kozmotis had to suppress the impulse to push Jack back down, he looked so groggy that it made him appear weak and tired despite having rested. The way Jack struggled to push himself up didn’t make keeping his hands to himself any easier. Still, he managed and Jack sat up, blinking blearily at the unfamiliarity surrounding him.

“Wha- What happened?”

There was a brief pang of relief at the question. Jack didn’t seem to remember and Kozmotis fervently hoped it would stay that way. The relief was quickly followed up by dread because it meant having to explain what had happened and Kozmotis wasn’t sure how to go about that. He couldn’t lie, no doubt someone else would tell Jack the truth eventually, but it wasn’t news that he could gently break to Jack in any way. To launch into it immediately didn’t seem like the proper course.

Kozmotis was drawn from his troubled thoughts when Jack suddenly gripped his hand tighter. Glancing up, he saw Jack pressing his free hand to his face as though he was in pain. Distress was starting to show in his expression.

“Why don’t I remember? My head’s all-” Jack cut himself off, making a soft frustrated noise.

Kozmotis abandoned his seat and let go of Jack’s hand, instead moving to sit on the bed so he could pull Jack into a soothing embrace.

“Shh, it’s alright.”

The tenseness in Jack’s shoulders slowly disappeared as he clung to Kozmotis, gradually just melting into the embrace rather than just desperately grabbing and holding on. It felt incredibly good just to hold Jack again, feel his weight against him, regardless of the circumstances. Jack wasn’t pushing the question and for that Kozmotis felt grateful.

They simply stayed put for a while, holding each other while Kozmotis murmured soothing words, until Kozmotis found the strength to pull back a little and ask the question that needed to be asked.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

Jack bit his lip and glanced down, obscuring his expression. Kozmotis didn’t need to see it to know how troubled Jack was looking, his demeanour overall said enough. After having seen Jack only looking blank or wary, it was a refreshing sight. Jack had always been expressive with his entire body. It cemented the fact that this was _real_.

“I … You left,” Jack started haltingly, peeking up through his bangs with a thoughtful frown still lingering on his face. “Back at the prison. You left.”

Kozmotis’ breath stuttered in his chest. He wanted to stop Jack from remembering any further than that, but it appeared to be too late because Jack’s eyes suddenly widened and he gasped loudly.

Kozmotis tried to steel himself only to be thrown into confusion when Jack stared at him urgently. He was expecting horror and … there was no trace of horror to be found on Jack’s face. In fact, he almost seemed … excited? Jack was practically vibrating with sudden energy on the spot.

Kozmotis didn’t get it until Jack realised he wasn’t understanding his imploring looks and voiced the question out loud.

“Did you- did you find her?”

_Oh_. Of course.

Kozmotis had to bite back a smile, keeping his expression carefully neutral with great effort. He put on a solemn air as he rose from the bed, offering a puzzled Jack his hand.

“Come with me.”

Jack glanced at his hand and then back up at his face, reaching out to take it despite looking offended.

“Wha- just tell me, Koz!”

Kozmotis said nothing, helping Jack to his feet and guiding him to the exit of the room. Whatever protests Jack might have thought of were cut off once they set foot out the door. Save for his arrival (that Jack apparently wasn’t remembering anyway), Jack hadn’t been outside the bedroom so the sights and the crew of Moonmice and Moonbots were quite something to take in.

Although Jack kept shooting him anxious and confused looks, he was mostly distracted glancing around at the unfamiliar scenery. Everything about the Moon Clipper was grand and Kozmotis was glad it awed Jack into silence. Even if it was an antsy one.

Ignoring any of the urgent prompting looks Jack sent him, Kozmotis walked Jack to the garden where Emily Jane could usually be found. She seemed to be at home among the plants just like how she’d always been at home in the fields of Lunar flowers.  


He gave Jack an unreadable look as he opened the doors and Jack looked as though he might yell at him until he caught sight of the garden. Or rather, the garden and the tall figure standing in the centre of it.

Jack gasped quietly, transfixed, and Kozmotis finally allowed the smile he’d been suppressing to grace his lips.

“ _She’s beautiful_ ,” Jack whispered earnestly.

Kozmotis felt an inordinate swell of pride.

“Isn’t she?”

It was right after the words had left his mouth that Emily Jane turned around and spotted them in the doorway. Her eyes grew wide and after a small moment of being stunned with surprise, she hurried over with quick steps, coming close to breaking out into a run. Jack dithered on the spot before taking a hesitant step forward.

Kozmotis stayed where he was to watch the scene unfold. As Emily Jane approached, he could very clearly see in his mind the same scene only ten years earlier. A little girl hurrying over to jump into the arms of a young cadet.

Things were different now, Jack didn’t stretch his arms out and Emily Jane didn’t leap at him, but the essence was the same.

Jack seemed more hesitant, probably unsure of how to deal with a grown up Emily Jane, and Emily Jane too came to a stop right in front of him, appearing uncertain. Her uncertainty didn’t linger for long because a moment later, after seeing Jack’s hesitancy, she threw her arms around his shoulders.

“You’re awake, thank goodness.”

She glanced at Kozmotis over Jack’s shoulder to share a smile and Kozmotis could swear his face was going to split if he kept smiling like this.

Jack snapped out of his stupor, bringing up his arms to return the embrace and finally finding his raspy voice again.

“Stars, look at you, you’ve grown so much.”

Kozmotis could hear rather than see the tears from the sound of Jack’s watery voice. In this moment, he didn’t think he could feel so happy and content ever again. He felt a peace that he didn’t think was possible for him to feel in this lifetime. Now they could move forward, together, as a family. He’ll be perfectly happy retiring and spending the rest of his days in the company of those he loved.

Emily Jane pulled back, smiling down at Jack as he glanced between Koz and his daughter excitedly.

“You’ll have to tell me how you got reunited. I don’t remember much. I don’t know how I got here, but … ” Jack suddenly trailed off, distracted. His expression grew troubled and Kozmotis felt dread tugging at his stomach. “Something bad happened, didn’t it?”

“ _Jack._ ”

Kozmotis moved forward, desperately trying to think of words to say to keep Jack from remembering anything further.

“No, I … _I_ did something really bad.”

Before Kozmotis could think of what to say, Jack’s expression turned to one of complete and utter horror as he tore himself away from Emily Jane, clutching his head. Kozmotis glanced up at Emily Jane to see the same dismay reflected on her face.

Jack swayed on his feet, fingers clutching his hair so tightly that Kozmotis feared he might tear his own hair out.

“Get Sanderson.”

It was the first thing that sprang to mind and Emily Jane nodded, expression turned grim in determination as she quickly ran off without wasting a single second.

“Jack, listen to me-”

Jack wasn’t. Whatever was going on his head was too all-consuming, he didn’t notice Kozmotis’ approach or touch, much less the pleading words spilling from Kozmotis’ mouth. The hopes Kozmotis had that Jack wouldn’t remember were dashed. Any attempt to catch his attention went ignored.

His words made no difference, especially not when Jack started screaming and drowned out anything Kozmotis tried to say. He didn’t stop, no matter how tightly Kozmotis held on, until Sanderson arrived and knocked him out with Dreamsand when they couldn’t get him to calm down.

With a heavy heart Kozmotis had to carry Jack back to his room.

 

* * *

 

He feared that Jack might slip back into a comatose state and not wake for days or turn into the fearful creature again, but fortunately that wasn’t the case. Kozmotis had stayed by Jack’s bedside throughout the good few hours that he remained unconscious, Sanderson keeping watch just outside the door to keep curious, prying eyes away. The news of Jack’s awakening had traveled fast aboard the ship.

Jack woke with a groan, causing Kozmotis to bolt upright from his slouched sit, his fretting attention immediately turned to Jack’s waking form. Desperately he wished that Jack might have forgotten again in his sleep, though he didn’t dare hope.

Which turned out to be for the better.

When Jack blinked the sleep out of his eyes and turned his head to see Kozmotis there, his expression crumbled completely and tears welled up in his eyes. Kozmotis tried reaching out to him, he jerked away violently and Kozmotis quickly had to retract his hand.

Briefly he thought he’d have to call Sanderson inside, Jack was shaking so badly and looked so frightened that Kozmotis was sure he was going to start screaming again, only Jack spoke instead after a suspenseful beat.

“Koz, I’m so, so sorry.”

His voice was barely a whisper, so cracked and broken from all the screaming earlier, it broke Kozmotis’ heart to hear.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he murmured, attempting to sound soothing when his own voice had gone shaky. He tried reaching out again, wanting to comfort Jack with touch, but Jack shied away and Kozmotis let his hand fall back into his lap, doing his best not to feel hurt.

“Yes, it was. I knew better and yet … ”

Jack bit his lip hard, obviously trying to choke back tears in a futile endeavour as he turned his head and stared up at the ceiling.

“ _Jack_ , it’s not. None of what happened is your fault.”

Jack shook his head strongly and Kozmotis’ fingers itched to grab Jack by the shoulders and shake sense into him.

“Koz, the things I _did_ -” Jack cut himself off with a gasp, clasping a hand over his mouth as though he was going to be sick. The way he squeezed his eyes shut made the tears flow freely and Kozmotis felt like crying (for Jack) himself.

“That _wasn’t_ you,” Kozmotis said empathically, putting all his conviction into the words.

Jack didn’t reply, probably too far gone to manage speech. His entire frame was shaking with the barely suppressed sobs racking through his body. Kozmotis wanted so badly to provide physical comfort as words would never be enough now, but he didn’t want to cause Jack any more unease since his touch seemed unwanted.

So Kozmotis sat there, fists clenched, feeling utterly helpless. If he could, he would take all of Jack’s pain away and bear it himself in a heartbeat. Unfortunately there was no way that was possible and instead he was left with the feeling of powerlessness and his own guilt. He knew better than to voice that guilt aloud - the thought that Jack’s current situation was his fault - because as much as he wanted to alleviate Jack’s guilt (and thus suffering), blaming himself wasn’t the way. Jack wouldn’t want that.

He kept it to himself, sitting there patiently and watching over Jack until the trembling and the sobs subsided. No matter how damaged Jack might be and how hard it was to watch, Kozmotis refused to give up on him. He would get better, Kozmotis was determined to make it so. They had already defied all odds by bringing Jack back and that Jack was now coherent had seemed impossible at the time and yet here they were. They might as well continue doing the impossible.

After a moment of listening to Jack’s hitched breathing, Jack finally opened his eyes. With new resolve, Kozmotis reached out and, very slowly and carefully, put his hand down on the bed, palm upward. A silent offer that Jack could take if he wanted to.

Jack turned his head, blinking away tears to glance at the offered hand and then up at Kozmotis, looking uncertain.

Kozmotis wasn’t uncertain in any way.

“I love you, Jack.”

Where he’d struggled with those words previously, they came surprisingly easy now. It was like stating a simple truth. Because that’s what it was. He loved Jack, that had been apparent to everyone around him and after everything he’d gone through to get Jack back, he finally felt that certainty himself.

Jack’s eyes widened almost comically as Kozmotis smiled down at him, gentle and assured. After a moment of shocked surprise, Jack rolled over onto his side and reached out to put his hand on top of Kozmotis’ hesitantly. Kozmotis waited for Jack’s hand to settle before curling his fingers around Jack’s, making sure to keep his grip featherlight so that Jack could pull his hand away whenever he wanted to.

“I love you,” Kozmotis repeated, watching how the tears sprung back into Jack’s eyes.

Jack gripped his hand and pulled it closer, pressing his forehead against the back of Kozmotis’ fingers as he curled up into a ball, his sobs renewed. In that moment Kozmotis couldn’t resist gripping back a little tighter, but that was okay. Jack was clinging to his hand as if it was a lifeline so likely he wasn’t going to let go any time soon.

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

That was the only reassurance he could truly offer Jack. That Jack was loved and not alone nor would he be. Even without Kozmotis there, Jack was surrounded by people who cared about him. Emily Jane, obviously, and Sanderson and Nightlight even though they didn’t really know Jack before the possession, they still cared a great deal. When they got back to Zeus, there would be Jack’s family as well and the Lunanoffs who always cared about their people.

Although that alone might not be enough to help Jack, he figured it was a good start.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed the door move slightly ajar. Looking up, he saw Sanderson peeking into the room. There was an odd faint light spilling into the doorway from behind Sanderson and Kozmotis realised it must be Nightlight.

Kozmotis shook his head minutely, not wanting to alert Jack to another presence in the room and hoping that the gesture would be enough to tell the Star Captain that any more company would not be wise.

After a small nod, the door closed quietly to Kozmotis’ relief.

He turned his attention back to Jack, who appeared to have calmed down a bit. Kozmotis hesitated for a beat, not really wanting to ask but still needing to know. Steeling himself with a deep breath, he squeezed Jack’s hand to get his attention. With reddened eyes peering up at him, he felt even more reluctant to ask.

“... What do you remember?”

Jack uncurled slightly, sniffling and wiping his nose with his free hand. He looked thoughtful rather than distressed so Kozmotis took it that the question wasn’t too ill-received or difficult.

“Just- flashes. But they’re enough.”

Kozmotis nodded, not even wanting to press further. He cleared his throat, changing tack as he placed his other hand lightly on top of Jack’s and looked at him sincerely.

“Jack, I want you to know that none of this is your fault,” he started and then immediately plowed on before Jack could interrupt. He looked like he wanted to. “Remember, I almost opened the doors, too. If you hadn’t stopped me, I would have. You were there alone because I left and … ”

“ _Koz_ -” There was a hint of urgency in Jack’s tone and Kozmotis could guess why. If anyone knew of his tendency of feeling guilty, it was Jack. But he wasn’t going to linger on that and voice the guilt he felt out loud. Not this time.

So he shook his head and pressed on.

“And you had no one else to talk you down. That’s not on you, okay? We’d already been there for so long, it’s a wonder we hadn’t gone insane. No one is going to blame you.”

If they did, they would have Kozmotis to deal with. That was a grim thought he kept to himself.

Jack looked terribly uncertain and pained as he slowly sat up. Kozmotis noted that Jack wasn’t relinquishing the tight grip on his hand and that meant something.

“Koz, I did so many terrible things. I killed so many people-”

“No, not _you_. That wasn’t you.”

Jack glanced down, the guilt was written all over him from the tight lines in his face to the slope of his shoulders. He looked more weary than Kozmotis had ever seen him before and considering the state they’d been in back at the prison, that was saying something.

“It might as well have been.”

Suddenly he could very much understand how Jack must have been frustrated with him whenever he was feeling guilty about something. The change of perspective was quite an eye-opener though there wasn’t any room to think about it at the moment.

This role-reversal was absurd enough it almost made him want to laugh.

“Jack, look at me. You were possessed and those weren’t your actions. There was nothing you could have done.”

Jack didn’t look entirely convinced and Kozmotis reminded himself that this would take time. A lot of time. Fortunately that was something they had plenty of now.  


Jack looked like he was struggling to say something so Kozmotis kept quiet, waiting. The frustrated sigh that eventually left Jack told him he wasn’t going to hear whatever it was Jack wanted to say originally.

“I’d like to sleep some more.”

And he was right. Kozmotis kept himself from sighing, nodding instead. He wasn’t going to deny Jack sleep as an escape. Not to mention that he looked like he could use the rest, never mind how much sleep Jack had already gotten.

When Jack spoke next, Kozmotis was a little more surprised.

“Can you keep watch outside?”

“Of course.”

Kozmotis was not hesitant in his reply nor did he feel offended that Jack was subtly trying to get him out of the room. As concerned as he was, Jack deserved his space. He could join Sanderson and still be near enough to hear if anything went wrong.

He kissed the back of Jack’s hand, earning a tight, small smile, before leaving the room to stand guard outside and inform Sanderson of Jack’s state.

 

* * *

 

One step forward, two steps back was a saying that fit Jack’s situation aptly, Kozmotis quickly came to realise. The day that Jack had woken up coherent had seemed like such a leap of improvement at the time, but in the days that followed, it seemed more a curse than a blessing. Jack seemed to revert back to the frightful creature stage where he didn’t leave the room, only this time it was worse because he was lucid most of the time.

When Jack wasn’t hallucinating or suffering from awful nightmares in his sleep, he was going through breakdown after breakdown. The moments where there was some ‘peace’ were few and far between. Often Jack’s room was trashed in one of his episodes and Jack stuck to the shadows in the room, shunning the light and shying away from touch most of the time.

It was extremely difficult to watch, it was obvious Jack was remembering more and more from his possession.

The difference now was that everyone save for Nightlight was allowed to come inside the room and calm him down. Sanderson’s calming presence naturally was the most effective and in Jack’s lucid moments, he appeared to have taken a shine to the Star Captain. But he also responded remarkably well to Emily Jane, perhaps because she brought the wind with her when she went and Kozmotis figured that maybe it reminded Jack of sailing.

All the same, Kozmotis eventually _did_ see some improvement. Although the breakdowns were frequent, the space between them was gradually growing longer. It wasn’t much, but it gave Kozmotis hope.

The nightmares, or rather night terrors, were just as bad as the breakdowns. Maybe even worse because Jack’s terrified screams would fill the room and it always left Kozmotis deeply unsettled, imagining that was how Jack screamed when he’d gotten possessed.

It happened often enough not to surprise Kozmotis. In fact, he made it a point to stay nearby so he could come rushing in whenever it happened.

Tonight was no different.

The moment the screaming started, Kozmotis swept into the room and took a seat by Jack’s bed, trying to coax him awake with words of reassurance. He’d learned the first time that trying to shake him awake was a terrible mistake (the bruise on his cheek had taken quite a while to heal) so he made sure to keep some distance and wait it out no matter how difficult it was.

He didn’t move closer until Jack had woken up and had some time to recover the ability of separating reality from his nightmares, still murmuring soothing words. He sat on the edge of the bed, offering Jack his hand. To his surprise, Jack all but grabbed his hand and hauled him in so he could wrap his arms around Kozmotis’ shoulders. Not one to let the rare opportunity to physically comfort Jack slip, he returned the embrace and rubbed Jack’s back soothingly, uncaring of how soaked with sweat Jack was.

“Shh, you’re alright now.”

“Am I?” Jack’s small voice spoke up unexpectedly and the hint of sarcasm was actually good to hear. Normally Jack was silent after his nightmares.

“You will be,” Kozmotis said with complete confidence.

Jack snorted, but held on tighter for a good while. When Jack pulled back, he moved his hands to cup Kozmotis’ face and Kozmotis kept still in his curiosity and surprise. The soft, trembling lips pressed tentatively to his own were so unexpected that he was further shocked into keeping still. It felt like ages since he last kissed Jack and now even such brief, light contact was making his heart flutter.

When Jack pulled back, he was smiling ruefully at him.

“I’m kind of a lousy boyfriend, huh?”

“No, you’re not. You’re perfect as you are.” Kozmotis meant every word of it, emphasising the words by hugging Jack firmly. That he managed to get Jack back at all was a miracle, one he was grateful for even if things got hard.

Jack shifted and Kozmotis automatically loosened his hold to allow him room to move. The kiss was already unexpected so Kozmotis was not prepared for the way Jack shifted even closer, moving into his lap as he seated himself sideways, Jack’s side pressed along his front. He was certain his heart-rate was speeding up as Jack clumsily pressed another kiss to his mouth.

“You’ve been here for me and I … ”

The downcast of Jack’s gaze was so forlorn it hurt. With a gentle finger under Jack’s chin, Kozmotis got him to meet his gaze again.

“I don’t want anything from you, Jack. I only want for you to feel better.”

Momentarily Jack looked conflicted and then he sighed, tucking himself against Kozmotis.

“Then you’ll be waiting a long time.”

“That’s fine. We have all the time in the world,” Kozmotis countered easily, nuzzling the top of Jack’s head affectionately.

“We’re getting close to Zeus, so you’ll get to have your family soon, too.”

Kozmotis would have thought the prospect of seeing his mother and sister would be something that would give Jack hope. It did the opposite. Jack jolted, looking up at him with fearful wide eyes.

“ _No_ , I don’t- I can’t face them!”

Kozmotis startled at the panicked reaction, hurriedly trying to soothe Jack with a secure embrace.

“They would love to see you, Jack. They don’t blame you. ”

“No, no, they shouldn’t- I can’t … I just don’t want them to see me like this. I just- _can’t_. Not … not yet. _Please, Koz._ ”

There was no way Kozmotis could say no to the pleading, desperate look Jack was giving him. If Jack didn’t feel ready yet, he couldn’t make him lest his condition worsened further.

“Alright, I’ll ask the crew to keep us sailing for a while longer.”

“Thank you,” Jack muttered with profound relief, sagging back against Kozmotis.

They fell into a silence that wasn’t uncomfortable, Kozmotis loosely holding Jack and basking in the contact. It was a while before either of them spoke, their breathing having fallen into the same rhythm.

“Sometimes I still feel them inside me, writhing under my skin.”

The silence was broken by Jack’s soft whisper, Kozmotis almost didn’t hear. Jack hardly ever spoke about the possession, so tonight was definitely a night of surprises. Kozmotis kept quiet in case Jack wanted to say more, but nothing came.

“It will get better with time.”

_Surely._

“I dunno, it only seems to get worse.”

Kozmotis wasn’t entirely certain how to respond, much less how to make Jack feel better until his eyes wandered to the door. There was a familiar light spilling from the slight crack. Nightlight never entered Jack’s room, but he was usually found near it whenever Jack had been screaming.

“Jack, there is someone I’d like you to meet, if you’re up for it. He might be able to help.”

Jack straightened, glancing up to meet Kozmotis’ gaze with a puzzled frown though it was clear that his interest was piqued.

“Uh, sure?”

“Nightlight,” Kozmotis called out, giving Jack a reassuring smile before looking up to see the light by the door flicker. “Come in.”

There was a pause before the door opened a fraction, Nightlight barely visible as he peeked around the door inside. Kozmotis nodded encouragingly and Nightlight finally stepped inside.

Jack went rigid in his arms and Kozmotis observed his reaction to seeing Nightlight closely. Jack’s muscles were taut like the strings of a bow, there was fear on his face, but more than that, there was confusion. As if Jack didn’t know why he was reacting the way he was.

“Jack, what are you remembering?” He prompted gently.

“Pain,” Jack replied breathlessly, eyes fixed on the spectral boy in the doorway, pupils dilated.

Kozmotis ventured a guess that Jack didn’t remember all the details of how he was freed from possession. That was probably for the better.

Seeing Jack’s reaction, Nightlight was already taking a step back. Kozmotis stopped him, extending his arm and beckoning for Nightlight to come closer.

The spectral boy hesitated and then slowly approached, uncertainly taking Kozmotis’ hand when Kozmotis offered it to him once he got in reach.

Jack was all but flattening himself against Kozmotis, looking a little like a cornered animal.

“Jack, this is Nightlight. He’s the reason we got you back.”

Curiosity apparently won over fear as Jack blinked up at him before glancing back to Nightlight.

“He was … the light?”

Kozmotis hummed in acknowledgement, slowly guiding Nightlight closer until the young sentinel was standing right in front of them. Nightlight was eyeing Jack as uncertainly as Jack was eyeing him. Were it any other situation, it might have been funny.

“He’s not going to hurt you, Jack.”

Carefully he picked up Jack’s hand with his other hand, moving it closer to Nightlight’s. When Jack caught on, he briefly resisted and Kozmotis waited for Jack to relax before continuing. Nightlight was giving him a skeptical look that went ignored though he stayed pliant and followed Kozmotis’ silent directions.

When Jack’s hand came into contact with Nightlight’s, Jack flinched violently. Thankfully Nightlight appeared to have somewhat caught on to his intentions and didn’t immediately pull away. Instead he took gentle hold of Jack’s hand and Kozmotis watched with bated breath as he pulled his own hands away.

He hoped that Nightlight’s glow would chase the phantom fearlings away and ease Jack’s discomfort. It would also have the added benefit of potentially chasing the unconscious fear of Nightlight away.

Nightlight’s glow flickered like a candle in the wind and the spectral boy suddenly smiled.

“ _Oh,_ ” Jack gasped quietly.

And just like that, Kozmotis could feel all the tension seep away from Jack. The fear in Jack’s eyes was replaced with wonder and intense relief hit Kozmotis.

In one way or another, it had worked.

“Nightlight here is Prince Lunar’s guardian,” Kozmotis explained, noticing with an amused smile that the wonder on Jack’s face was joined by awe. “He can give you good dreams too, if you like.”

Kozmotis shared a conspiratorial look with Nightlight. Sanderson still gave Jack good dreams every now and then, but not as often as Kozmotis would like. The Star Captain insisted that the nightmares were necessary.

Jack had had enough nightmares for one night.

“I- yeah. I’d like that. If that’s okay,” Jack mumbled, entirely transfixed by Nightlight.

Nightlight beamed enthusiastically at the response, shifting the way he was holding Jack’s hand so that their fingers were laced and he could move closer more easily without any awkward bending of elbows.

Kozmotis felt a sense of accomplishment as he rested his head on top of Jack’s and Nightlight began to sing.

Soon Jack fell into peaceful sleep right there on his lap.

It was great progress.

 

* * *

 

Things got a little better from then on out. Nightlight was allowed into the room, first with company and then without. For all the pain Jack must be unconsciously associating with Nightlight, he took to the spectral boy extremely fast.

With Nightlight needing to be accompanied at first, more people came into the room at the same time. It was something they had been hesitant about, not wanting to crowd Jack and make matters worse, but more company actually helped Jack. Not only to adjust a little, also to keep him distracted. Kozmotis and Nightlight even managed to bait Jack out of the shadows on a particularly bad day by simply sitting on the ground and playing card games with each other until Jack joined them.

Each of them had something different to offer Jack. Sanderson was the bringer of calm and good dreams, Emily Jane had understanding for the turmoil Jack had to be feeling inside, she was the listening ear who Jack opened up to the most. He himself had love and acceptance to offer and as for Nightlight … Kozmotis had no doubt that Nightlight gave Jack courage.

It wasn’t just that Nightlight’s being had the capacity to make one feel lighter and better, but Nightlight must have represented some trauma to Jack and yet the two had become the best of friends. It was no surprise then that Nightlight had been the one to succeed in coaxing Jack out of his room, eager to show him around the ship and involve Jack in his mischief.

It had been a pleasant surprise to find Jack out and about (and quite a shock for Jack to learn he was aboard the Moon Clipper of all ships) and although Jack still stuck to the shadows and didn’t stray far from his room, Kozmotis felt proud of every little step of progress that Jack made. Even if sometimes that progress was ruined by another hallucination or breakdown setting Jack back. That Jack had made the step before meant he could do it again even if it took time and Kozmotis found it important to remind Jack of that. It helped.

He’d long since contacted the headquarters and requested a longer stay aboard the ship and, of course, the Lunanoffs had graciously granted him that, far too grateful and happy that he succeeded with his plan to care about getting their ship back right away. With that, Nightlight’s stay was also extended, but the Lunanoffs reasoned that was fine because the galaxies were safe now. The fleet was apparently doing a great job of hunting down the stray darkling creatures.

It meant that Kozmotis was free of obligation, able to fully focus on Jack’s recovery and spending time with his daughter.

Jack’s adventures outside his room grew more frequent and every time he went a little further than before, interacting with the crew or even coming to seek one of his friends out. It wasn’t always easy though and Kozmotis realised it was a good thing they hadn’t gone back to Zeus yet. Even aboard the ship Jack got overwhelmed quickly by all the people around him whenever he ventured outside his room.

Still, it was improvement.

That definitely showed in the way Jack would seek him out, wanting intimacy. What started out as halting touches and chaste kisses became a little more with each day that Jack felt more bold and confident. Compared to what they used to do at the prison, it wasn’t much. It never got much further than making out before Jack’s nerves got the better of him or he felt disgusted with his own body because of what happened, but Kozmotis took every tiny bit of affection and intimacy with equal gratitude and eagerness, treating it like the precious gift it was without ever asking for more.

There was one time where Jack had gotten Kozmotis really hot and bothered, but couldn’t continue so he’d asked Kozmotis to finish himself while he watched. There had been a hint of the old spark of mischief in his eyes and for that moment, it seemed like everything was back to normal. (And Kozmotis had never been so turned on his life, he didn’t even care that Jack teased him for coming so quickly.)

It was that small moment in which they _forgot_ and everything seemed as it should be, even for only mere seconds, that showed the most promise and hope. It didn’t matter that Jack shied away from his touch the very next day, feeling too discomfited in his own body, because there was hope they would find another moment like that down the road.

What was most promising was the night they decided to hold a little celebration with the crew for all their successes. They hadn’t had any celebration of their victory at all, not wanting to disturb Jack, but now that Jack was doing better, they decided it was time.

Jack joined them on deck that night and remarkably lasted the whole night, nestled against Kozmotis’ side by the end of it as the Moonmice sang songs. It was a little like being catapulted back in time, being in the happier times, celebrating on his ship with his old crew with only happy laughter and song all around and the knowledge he had a home and family to return to.

Only this time he had his family with him right here, celebrating.

And there was more cause to celebrate yet when Jack caught his gaze, sharing a fond smile before speaking.

“I want to go home.”


	14. Life Goes On

Going home turned out to be more of a troublesome affair than previously thought. Because of course people would rush to the docks the moment they saw the Moon Clipper to welcome the heroes home. Jack might have gotten a tad more used to being around people, but the mass that had gathered on the spot Kozmotis deemed as too much for him. Way too much. That was only further reinforced as Jack grew utterly terrified of having to face so many people after what ‘he had done’.

Now that they were at the docks, they couldn’t very well turn around and leave again though. So instead he sent Jack with Nightlight to slip away silently around the back of the ship on a Solar Surfer with promises to meet up at the palace the Lunanoffs were staying in, allowing Jack to move along a route more quiet and calm. Kozmotis was sorely tempted to go with them, not really caring for so much attention either. Sadly that would not do. He would just have to grin and bear the crowd.

It was made a little easier by Emily Jane’s steadfast presence by his side, holding his hand. He took a deep breath, nodding to Sanderson who came to stand on his other side, before stepping onto the plank the crew had lowered. The crowd erupted into excited cheers at the sight of them and Kozmotis schooled his grimace into a smile, ignoring the thought that this was undeserved when Jack getting possessed had been because of him leaving in the first place. His hand receiving a firmer squeeze helped to make his smile a lot more genuine.

What helped too was the crowd parting to let the Tsar and Tsarina through. Unabashed as always, the Tsarina threw her arms around him when they stood on the docks. Emily Jane was quietly chuckling to herself beside him until the Tsarina moved one arm and pulled her into the embrace, promptly making the chuckling stop to Kozmotis’ smug satisfaction.

“You did it,” she said with feeling, pulling back to look at their faces. Kozmotis nodded, smiling back at her with an ease that surprised even himself. She laughed happily, a sound that was as beautiful as she looked, before she let go and crouched down to give Sanderson a hug.

Tsar Lunanoff took up the space his wife previously occupied, heartily taking Kozmotis’ hand and shaking it. From the look on the Tsar’s face, Kozmotis was certain he would have received an embrace from the man as well if it weren’t for the baby cradled in his other arm. Instead they shared solemn nods and happy grins. The Tsar bowed his head respectfully in Emily Jane’s direction and then his expression turned puzzled as he glanced about.

“Where are-”

Kozmotis held up his free hand quickly to dissuade any worries from rising further.

“Nightlight is with Jack, they’re taking a quieter route.”

“Ah, yes, of course,” the Tsar replied, blinking at their surroundings as if only just noticing the crowd around them. Kozmotis supposed that it must be normal for the royal family to be surrounded by people whenever they were out in public. Perhaps they’d gotten so used to it that they didn’t even notice anymore. Kozmotis wasn’t sure whether to feel envy or sympathy.

“Let us be on our way then,” the Tsarina said, beaming, as she rose to her feet.

Having the Lunanoffs guide them to the palace was somewhat of a blessing. Although their presence did attract even more attention, it also kept people at a respectful distance. It made the journey easier to bear.

Once they reached the palace, everything calmed down. The peace and quiet inside the building was very welcome after the hectic bustle of the streets outside. Even the mention of a feast to celebrate their return didn’t dampen Kozmotis’ relief to be out of the public eye. It would have made him feel like a cranky old hermit if it weren’t for the fact that Emily Jane looked just as relieved to be inside and away from the chaos. Granted, they both had good reasons for being so unused to being in a crowd.

They moved to the sitting room and to everyone’s delight, Nightlight and Jack were already there waiting for them. Nightlight leapt up from his perch the moment he laid eyes on the Lunanoffs, flying over to take Prince Lunar into his arms and be embraced by the Tsar and Tsarina. The sound of a baby’s unadulterated laugh of joy rang through the room, making Kozmotis smile until he noticed Jack’s discomfort.

Jack had risen from his seat, standing awkwardly by the chair. The way he was eyeing the Lunanoffs could best be described as fearful, like he was waiting for them to explode like a bomb any moment now.

Giving his daughter’s hand a squeeze, Kozmotis let go and walked over to where Jack was. He came to stand beside him, gently bumping Jack’s elbow with his own in a silent gesture of solidarity. Jack glanced up at him, offering a thin smile. Even now Jack looked wan. It seemed as though the possession had permanently drained colour from a once vibrant young man. It was all the more noticeable now that they were out of space and on a planet with a sun.

Personally Kozmotis thought it made Jack look more ethereal. Then again he might be slightly biased. Jack would always be beautiful to him, at both his best and worse.

He could practically feel how Jack tensed up as the reunion between the Lunanoffs and Nightlight came to a close and the Tsarina looked up and caught sight of him.

“Oh, _Jack,_ ” she started, beginning to move closer. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

Briefly Kozmotis thought that she might embrace Jack and that Jack would bolt because he certainly looked scared enough. Neither of those things happened. The Tsarina came to stop before them, smiling down at Jack with genuine relief. Jack only hurriedly lowered his gaze, hanging his head.

“I’m so sorry,” Jack murmured, voice small, and Kozmotis knew without looking that there were tears in Jack’s eyes. It made him want to take Jack far, far away from here or pull him into an embrace, but he refrained. The Tsarina was already reaching out, expression on her face turned rueful.

“Oh, no, no, we’re the ones who are sorry,” she said, taking Jack’s face in her hands and tilting it up with gentle care. “This is our fault, we should have known better than to put people out there. Especially for so long.”

Jack looked just as stunned at those words as Kozmotis did. Not once had he thought that their monarchs would feel responsible and guilty for all that had happened too. The sad smile on the Tsarina’s face spoke volumes of the sorrow and grief she must have felt.

Kozmotis stared as she wiped away Jack’s tears and then glanced up at him soulfully.

“That goes for you both.”

To make matters worse, the Tsar joined her side and bowed deeply.

“We’re sorry,” the Tsar said with such force, there was no doubting the genuinity of his words.

Kozmotis felt flabbergasted, exchanging an uncomfortable glance with Jack that made it clear neither had expected anything like this. He wanted to protest and say that it wasn’t their fault, but all he could manage was:

“No, it’s … ” _alright? not your fault?_ Kozmotis faltered.

Then, to Kozmotis’ great surprise, Jack interjected.

“We’ll be alright.”

And perhaps they would be. Eventually.

 

* * *

 

The Lunanoffs insisted on a little feast of celebration with just them and an invitation extended to Jack’s family. So, after saying their momentary goodbyes, Kozmotis and Jack left with discrete transport provided by the Tsar and Tsarina. Leaving Emily Jane and Sanderson behind at the palace on Emily Jane’s urging that they didn’t want to intrude on Jack's moment.

As they sat traveled, Kozmotis was doubtful though. They were Jack’s support system and now that there was no Nightlight to give him courage or Sanderson to keep him calm, Jack looked like he was starting to fray at the edges with nervousness. By the time they came to a stop in front of Jack’s home, Kozmotis was doubtful Jack would want to go through with it.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Jack said with a resolution that lasted for perhaps five seconds before his face fell and he looked away nervously. “No. … Maybe?”

Kozmotis took Jack’s hands in his own, partially to give comfort but also to keep Jack from tearing his own sleeves apart with all the nervous plucking he kept doing.

“C’mon, it’ll be fine.”

Keeping his grip light so that Jack did have the space to pull back if he really wanted to, Kozmotis guided Jack out of their ride to the front door. He could feel the tremors in Jack’s hands and tried to assuage Jack’s anxiety with soothing words and tiny caresses.

It took a small moment for Jack to steel himself and allow Kozmotis to knock on the door. Although the moment he let go and turned around to do so, Jack hid behind him. With a fond ache he felt Jack press against his back, fingers curling into his coat.

All the same, he knocked and it was Jack’s sister who came and opened the door.

“Lord Pitch!”

The gasp of surprise came with a certain kind of anticipation that made Kozmotis smile. A smile that he was certain told Mary all that she needed to know.

“Hello, Mary.”

The fact that she beamed back brightly, eyes welling up with spontaneous tears, indicated that he was right.

Behind him he could feel Jack slowly loosen his hold and he waited patiently. Once Jack let go of the back of his coat, Kozmotis took that as a sign Jack was ready and stepped aside to reveal him to his sister.

“JACK!!” Mary all but screamed his name, launching herself at her brother with a speed that a cannon ball would have been envious of. Jack stood no chance whatsoever.

Kozmotis watched in amusement how they both went down in an ungraceful tumble of flailing limbs. Only a second later after the dull sound of impact, laughter filled the air, punctuated by the occasional hiccup or watery attempts at words. Kozmotis couldn’t remember the last time Jack had laughed so joyfully. He looked away respectfully, smiling to himself.

For the first time in a long while, he felt like he had done something right.

Jack’s mother appeared in the doorway, no doubt drawn to the sound of her children laughing, glancing between him and the siblings on the ground in disbelief. He could only offer her a helpless smile and before he knew it, Kozmotis was swept into an embrace by long, slender arms for the second time that day.

“ _Thank you._ ”

“Of course.” That was all he had the chance to murmur back because he was released suddenly as she turned her attention to her children, rushing over to join the laugh-crying pile on the floor.

Kozmotis kept his distance, letting Jack have his moment, and he was fully prepared to leave, but the family was having none of that and eventually dragged him inside the house despite his protests. He was received with equal warmth as Jack was and he couldn’t help feeling at home. Especially as the smile didn’t leave Jack’s face for hours. For as much as Jack had seemed to dread what might have happened during the reunion, it became clear that whatever Jack feared didn’t come to pass.

Jack's family talked to Jack excitedly about anything and everything, little cheerful things, and it did wonders to put Jack at ease. It was another small moment in which everything was back to normal. At least until they tried getting the story of Jack’s rescue out of Kozmotis and Kozmotis steered the conversation away with promises to tell the story later at the feast, thus extending the royal invitation.

One that of course couldn’t be refused.

And so they found themselves back in the palace that evening, adding two new people to the fray. Jack was getting tired though, Kozmotis could tell. They had found a quiet spot to sit in for the moment and Jack was nearly curled up in his chair, sinking into it.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

It had been a long, emotionally draining day already. Kozmotis could feel the tiredness creeping up on him and he wasn’t even the one most affected by it all. Still, he wasn’t used to being around so many people at once anymore.

“Yeah, I- I just want to be there,” Jack murmured, making a valiant attempt to sit up straighter and look more alert. “I’ll take a long nap after or something.”

Kozmotis stared at him skeptically, but then Jack batted his eyelashes blatantly, showing a hint of his old humour, and Kozmotis gave in with a fond sigh. He leaned over, pressing a kiss to Jack’s forehead and relishing the flicker of a content smile it brought forth.

That’s when a giggle drew him out of the moment. Pulling back, he saw Mary standing there with a mischief in her eyes that was all too familiar.

“Oh, don’t mind me. Do go on.”

“ _Mary_ ,” Jack exclaimed in a mock-scandalised tone, apparently regaining some energy at seeing his sister. “This is not how I raised you, young lady. Come here.”

“No.”

Kozmotis didn’t know where Jack found the reserve of energy, but he got up and chased after Mary as she turned and ran, giggling. They were the very picture of small children, never mind that they were both full grown adults. Kozmotis was both impressed and felt all the more tired from just watching them.

His gaze was drawn away when they were nearly out of sight and Jack’s empty chair found a new occupant in the form of Emily Jane. She was staring after Jack and Mary with a hint of amusement on her face.

“Do you want me to chase you, too?”

Emily Jane snorted at the ridiculous question, settling back into the chair.

“No, I’ve done enough chasing around today.”

Kozmotis raised an eyebrow, the effect of it rather lost as Emily Jane kept looking ahead. Not that the silent question was all that necessary, Kozmotis could venture a guess as to why anyway.

“Nightlight?”

“Mmhm.”

Kozmotis made a noise of acknowledgment and sympathy. Likely the spectral boy would be all the more playful and energetic for being reunited with his littlest friend.

He was glancing on ahead again, mind already wandering, when suddenly there was a slight weight on his shoulder. From the corner of his eye he could see … well, not much as it was obscured by a mess of black hair. That alone showed enough though.

Emily Jane had put her head on his shoulder and it made Kozmotis’ heart flutter with happiness. It was small gestures and touches like these, normal to anyone else, that meant a lot and showed that the rift between them was slowly mending.

He wanted moments like these to last. Preferably forever.

Fortunately the spirit of that moment lingered throughout the night. The feast was not as exhausting as Kozmotis had imagined it to be. It was a calm, intimate affair. Whereas he was expecting something like the usual celebrations he’d known back in the day, this was really more like a big family sitting at the table and having dinner, exchanging stories.

It was a highly enjoyable evening and that made saying goodbye the next morning all the harder.

 

* * *

 

It was no surprise that none of them really lasted in the capital planet of Constellation Zeus. Neither him nor Jack or Emily Jane felt at ease in the hubbub of the streets. So it was after a few days of trying to adjust that Kozmotis decided to find something better with Emily Jane and Jack came with them, leaving his mother and sister behind. Thankfully they understood and had experienced a few of Jack’s ‘episodes’ that cemented the understanding that Jack needed somewhere more peaceful.

And so Kozmotis acquired himself a ship and the first order of business was to find Sanderson a new star while they kept an eye out for a place to settle in. Once they found a star, it meant saying goodbye to Sanderson as well though there were promises for visits exchanged.

Losing quite a bit of his support system was hard on Jack, but fortunately finding a new home kept him preoccupied and distracted. On the very outskirts of the constellation they found a small moon that they could make their own. Kozmotis deliberately chose it for its location near the constellation. That way they could visit Jack’s family and it was easier for them to come visit.

Rather than get another palace like he had before, Kozmotis settled on something smaller and humble, more homely. It was just a small place that would soon be surrounded with the plant-life they decided to plant, but it was theirs. They had the ship too for the moments they didn’t want stay put. They could sail wherever they wanted to and visit whatever planet or moon that caught their fancy. It was Emily Jane who mostly used it to go out and explore on her own or join Sanderson on his wish-granting rounds along the galaxies. The first few times had been hard to let her go alone, but as time passed it became easier. It gave him and Jack some time alone as well.

One could almost call it a carefree life.

_Almost_ because Jack was far from done recovering. Jack got better, certainly, though whether or not he would ever truly recover was uncertain. Likely he would always be plagued by nightmares and fear. Jack would never be the same person again. Then again, neither would Kozmotis, so that was alright. They had peace and quiet, good days and bad days. Life went on as it always had.

It was one of the better days—quite a few months later after creating their new home—as Kozmotis sat at his desk, reading letters from Caelem. It was Caelem who had taken over his old campaign and was hunting down the last stray remnants of Fearlings, Nightmare Men and Dream Pirates. Although the letters were essentially status reports, they written more like love letters. Jack always had a ball writing equally dramatic letters in return in Kozmotis’ name.

Two slender arms slipping around his neck alerted him to the fact that he was no longer alone in the room and he smiled to himself.

“They’re almost done hunting the last of them,” Kozmotis said, setting the letter down.

“Mm, that’s great,” Jack’s sleep-addled voice spoke up near his ear, making Kozmotis smile wider.

“Did you have a good nap?”

“I guess.”

There was more Kozmotis wanted to ask, but he got utterly distracted when a hand slipped down his neck into his shirt and lips were pressed against the side of his neck. It made his breathing hitch ever so slightly.

“I see you’re in a _mood,_ ” Kozmotis remarked, trying to sound as casual as possible as warm fingers trailed down along bare skin.

Attempts at intimacy had remained the same between them, never going much further than making out, and although Kozmotis occasionally hungered for more, he was fine with that. Simply having Jack’s company was already enough for him, anything else was an extra. That way there were no expectations (which meant less pressure for Jack) and Jack knew by now that he would have to initiate contact because Kozmotis was often too afraid of pushing Jack too far.

“Yeah,” Jack muttered, breathing out a gust of warm air along Kozmotis' neck that nearly made him shiver.

Out of sheer habit he glanced at the door, despite knowing Emily Jane was out with Sanderson and wouldn’t be back in a while, before turning the chair around to face Jack, forcing him to pull back.

He’d been expecting Jack to seat himself in his lap and continue, but instead Kozmotis found his hands caught in Jack’s.

“Can we go to the bedroom?”

Kozmotis’ brows furrowed slightly. They usually just made out wherever on the spot which meant that Jack requesting them to move was significant and he was skeptical about the implication behind that.

“C’mon, Koz. Please?”

Jack tugged his hands impatiently and Kozmotis found he could not refuse. He didn’t _want_ to refuse. With a nod, he got to his feet and let Jack lead him into their bedroom. Once there, Jack wasted no time pulling him down onto the bed on top of him and kissing Kozmotis hard. Jack’s tongue in his mouth was nothing new, since Jack often couldn’t handle having something intrude into his mouth (reminding him of Fearlings pouring down his throat) unless they slowly worked their way up to it, but the way he was all but plundering Kozmotis’ mouth now was a new development.

Kozmotis shut his eyes and marveled at the way Jack was more assertive than usual, content to let Jack have his way with him while cautiously reciprocating. Whatever suspicions he might have had gradually melted away as they made out, falling back on the usual routine.

At least until Jack shoved his hands under Kozmotis’ shirt and actually pushed the shirt up.

Kozmotis broke the kiss, blinking at Jack in surprise as he tried to regather his wits.

“I want more,” Jack spoke breathlessly in a rush, staring down at him with such blatant _want_ it made Kozmotis’ throat dry.

As much as he wanted the same, he knew better than to blindly agree. Jack had said that more often and every time only ended up pushing himself more than he should.

“Jack, are you sure?”

“ _Yes_.”

There was such a strong determination showing on Jack’s face, Kozmotis didn’t have the heart to refuse him completely. They both wanted the same thing, but it wasn’t as simple as that. With a sigh he looked away to give himself an opportunity to attempt clear thinking. It worked for perhaps a few seconds before Jack sat back on Kozmotis’ legs and Kozmotis became acutely aware of Jack’s erection.

It was time for a compromise.

“Okay, but I want you to tell me exactly what you want and I want you to stop when it becomes too much. Promise?”

That made Jack hesitate briefly before he nodded.

It would have to do. Kozmotis sat up, letting the stern expression fall away in favour for a challenging one.

“So, tell me.”

Jack bit his lip, looking indecisive, and Kozmotis waited patiently.

“I want you to undress,” Jack said eventually, moving off Kozmotis to give him the space to do so.

“Very well.”

Kozmotis didn’t miss a beat, not hesitating in taking his shirt off before moving on to take his pants off. He was very much aware of Jack’s eyes on him (and how much that turned him on), the way Jack’s breathing turned shallow and how he fidgeted restlessly. Jack didn’t tell him to stop so Kozmotis kept going until he was completely undressed.

He met Jack’s gaze readily once Jack was done giving him a thorough look over. Kozmotis felt calmer than he probably should considering how significant this step was. It made it easier to stay composed and arch an eyebrow in a silent question for another directive.

Jack swallowed hard and licked his lips nervously. At the flash of Jack’s pink tongue, Kozmotis had to resist the urge to move forward and kiss him, the arousal starting to shatter his calm.

“Undress me. Slowly.”

Kozmotis inclined his head in acknowledgement before he shifted closer. As directed, he removed Jack’s shirt slowly and greedily took in the newly exposed skin, letting his hands wander down Jack’s shoulders to his chest and then down further to reach his pants. It was when his fingers caressed Jack’s stomach that he could feel the muscles under his hands tense and he heard Jack’s breathing hitch.

He paused, glancing up at Jack’s eyes.

“Are you sure?” Kozmotis asked again, ignoring the heady thrum of arousal in his veins. If Jack wanted to stop now, he would.

“Yes,” Jack’s reply came easily, but Kozmotis sensed that there was more Jack wanted to say so he kept still. Jack took a shaky breath and, as expected, continued. “Is it weird that I’m nervous? I mean, we’ve done … well, you know. Filthier things. Sort of.”

Kozmotis chuckled at Jack’s wording and shook his head, quick to elaborate.

“No, it’s not weird. This is new for us.”

They had never seen each other completely naked before. It only made sense that there would be some nervousness now no matter what they had already done in the past. He himself could feel the flutter of anticipation in his chest.

Jack nodded and Kozmotis could feel him relax a fraction under his hands. He took that as a sign to continue, so he did, letting his fingers drag along skin and letting some touches linger as he slowly worked Jack out of his clothing.

When he was done, it took great effort to pull back and keep his hands to himself and wait for Jack’s next command.

None came, but Jack did move closer and after putting his hands on Kozmotis’ shoulders, leaned forward to press a tentative kiss to his lips. It didn’t take long for the kiss to be turned into something a lot less chaste and tentative, making Jack move his arms around Kozmotis’ neck and lean his weight against Kozmotis.

They both ended up gasping simultaneously, breaking the heated kiss, at the sensation of so much bare skin pressed together, setting nerves on fire. Gasps turned into a quiet huffs of laughter that diffused the tension a bit and made clearer thinking possible.

Kozmotis pulled his head back a little further to look at Jack fondly as he moved his arms around Jack’s waist. Jack in turn smiled back shyly, carefully sitting himself down in Kozmotis’ lap. Kozmotis could feel him shudder when he’d settled himself.

“This is … more intense,” Jack muttered sheepishly, avoiding Kozmotis’ gaze.

“Jack-” Kozmotis started, not getting a chance to say or ask any further.

“I’m fine,” Jack interrupted.

Kozmotis decided not question it and they simply stayed put for a moment, holding each other and ignoring their aching erections. It gave their bodies a chance to adjust to all the new sensory input. There was something intimate and sensual about just embracing while naked as well, Kozmotis wouldn’t at all be disappointed if this was as far as they got. It was already a huge leap from the usual.

But Jack started kissing him again soon enough, not stopping until the kiss had turned hot and heavy and he was squirming in Kozmotis’ lap. It made things increasingly difficult for Kozmotis.

“Touch me,” Jack gasped the words into Kozmotis’ mouth, making Kozmotis see stars when he rolled his hips impatiently. “Everywhere.”

Perhaps Kozmotis should ask for Jack to be a bit more specific, but he was all too glad to have a directive to follow. Even a vague one. It gave him something else to focus on other than the increasing heat and desire that made him want to throw Jack on the bed and ravish him utterly.

If Jack wanted everywhere, then everywhere it was.

Kozmotis started by trailing his hands along Jack’s arms to his shoulders then his shoulder blades, committing to memory the feeling of Jack’s muscles shifting under his touch. He let his hands wander further, following the dip of Jack’s lower back further down to trace the curve of his backside.

Jack was moaning into his mouth, his attempts at kissing gone sloppy and uncoordinated. It made Kozmotis more bold, his fingers dipping further along Jack’s ass. He stroked one finger over Jack’s entrance, a simple exploratory touch, and Jack went rigid against him.

Kozmotis immediately removed his hands, settling them lightly on Jack’s back to steady him as he pulled back to look at Jack with concern.

“I don’t think I can-” Jack stammered out, looking both startled and flustered. There was a fear there in his face too and Kozmotis swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat before making a soothing sound.

“That’s fine, Jack. It’s okay. We can do something else or we can stop.”

Jack shook his head vehemently, expression turning frustrated and then desperate as he looked at Kozmotis with pleading eyes.

“No, I want us to have- I want this properly. It’s been too long, Koz.”

Stars, how could he say no? But they obviously couldn’t continue as they had with Jack’s unease with penetration. They would have to do something else. Kozmotis grew quiet as he looked away, pensive, still unconsciously reassuring Jack by rubbing his back with his thumbs as he thought it over. There was really only one other way to give Jack what he wanted.

With his mind made up, Kozmotis met Jack’s eyes again.

“We still can.”

Jack blinked at him, any frustration disappearing as confusion took over. Kozmotis had to suppress a smirk.

“How...?”

He couldn’t suppress it for long as he took Jack’s hand in his and pointedly guided it behind himself, down the curve of his ass. He took pleasure in seeing Jack’s eyes widen, mouth falling open and a flush spreading along his cheeks.

“Oh, uh, d-do you … would you want that?”

“Sure,” Kozmotis said easily, letting go of Jack’s hand and leaving it there on his backside. “If you’re up for it.”

Kozmotis almost laughed at how Jack was left staring at him speechlessly, managing to keep it contained to a low chuckle of amusement. He reached over the nightstand, procuring a small bottle of clear fluid from the drawer. He held the bottle up in front of Jack’s face.

“You can nod or shake your head.”

Jack snapped out of it at that, the start of an eager smile spreading across his face. Jack suddenly squeezed his ass, causing Kozmotis to inhale sharply, and then moved off him.

“Yeah, I am. Up for it, that is. Lie down.” The last two words were spoken in a voice that was deliberately authoritative, making Kozmotis raise an eyebrow at Jack even as he complied and lied down on his back.

“I’m starting to think you might be enjoying this a little too much,” he remarked. The mischievous glint appearing in Jack’s eyes not going unnoticed by him.

“What, making the great General do everything I say? You bet.”

His heart hurt in a good way at getting to see a glimpse of the old Jack again. The whole point of Jack getting to order him around had been to get Jack to feel as comfortable as possible. So in that regard, it seemed like he was succeeding.

Jack moved with more confidence, plucking the bottle out of Kozmotis’ hand and setting it aside. Kozmotis didn’t protest as Jack started running his hands down his chest instead, exploring. They had all the time in the world now.

The only thing somewhat worthy of protest was Jack’s fingers wrapping around his cock and stroking, drawing out a moan from Kozmotis that made him really glad that Emily Jane wasn’t at home. It had been _so long_ and embarrassingly, he realised that if Jack kept going he was not going to last very long.

“Jack, please.”

Jack got the message, some of his previous bravado falling away as he grabbed the bottle and coated his fingers.

“Just so you know, I don’t really have any experience with all this.”

“There’s not exactly a lot you can get wrong here,” Kozmotis managed to say without letting impatience creep into his voice, spreading his legs obligingly as Jack moved closer.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jack said earnestly, pausing with his hand hovering close.

As sweet as the concern was, Kozmotis really couldn’t take much more of this dawdling around. So he urged Jack on the best way he knew how to: with a challenge.

“You think you can?”

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Jack rolled his eyes though Kozmotis wasn’t fooled, he could see the upturn twitch of Jack’s lips. Not that he could linger on that little smile when Jack proceeded to press a finger inside of him.

His breathing faltered completely at the sensation and Kozmotis was quick to try and get a grip on it, closing his eyes and slowing his breathing to get his body to relax as Jack tentatively worked his finger in further. It felt foreign after so long, though not wholly unpleasant.

It felt better when Jack started moving his finger back and forth and Kozmotis relaxed more. Fingers tangling with his own got him to open his eyes again, Jack having grabbed his hand with his free one.

Jack was watching him with rapt attention, brows pinched together slightly in concentration. It was an endearing sight to see and Kozmotis mustered a lazy smile in reassurance, squeezing Jack’s hand for good measure.

That eased away Jack’s frown and Kozmotis could see curiosity start to take over.

“Have you … ?” Jack began hesitantly, then got too flustered and shook his head to dismiss the question.

Kozmotis could make a guess as to what Jack might be asking and answered anyway.

“Had fingers up my ass before?”

Jack snorted, the amusement chasing away the nervousness on Jack’s face just as Kozmotis had hoped.

“Yeah. That, or more.”

Kozmotis groaned as Jack fell into a steady and firm rhythm, losing a little of his caution as he pressed a second finger in.

“Yes, I have,” Kozmotis answered eventually.

“... Who?”

“My wife.”

It didn’t quite hurt to mention her. There was a distant ache, the one that was always there when he thought of her, but more than there was a sweet fondness at the memory.

“ _Oh,_ ” Jack breathed, expression turning unreadable. Kozmotis wanted to reassure him that it was fine, he didn’t mind that she had been brought up, but then Jack suddenly grinned before he could find the words to reassure him. “That’s hot.”

Kozmotis let out a chuckle that was cut short when Jack deliberately moved his fingers to stretch him, making it difficult to keep still. He endured it for a little while until he couldn’t anymore, pressing back against Jack’s fingers impatiently.

“ _Jack_.”

He hoped the desperation in his voice would convey enough. Luckily it did even though it didn’t stop Jack from looking at him questioningly just to be sure and Kozmotis hurriedly nodded, taking matters into his own hands by grabbing the bottle to slick Jack up himself.

The whimper that escaped Jack’s mouth the moment Kozmotis’ fingers touched him went straight to Kozmotis’ gut. Jack’s cock was a familiar weight in his hand and with the way Jack squirmed, it was tempting to keep stroking him. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t what Jack had requested, forcing himself to let go and lie back down.

Jack positioned himself and Kozmotis could tell he was trying to hold himself back and be cautious. Naturally Kozmotis wasn’t having any of that, he wrapped his long legs around Jack and reeled him in to egg him on.

It was all the encouragement Jack needed to start slowly pressing forward after lining himself up, sinking inside of him.

It left the both of them panting once Jack made it all the way in and stopped, pausing to catch his breath and—from how Kozmotis could feel Jack’s cock twitch inside him—presumably keep himself from coming right then and there.

Kozmotis took the opportunity to try and keep himself composed and also watch Jack who had squeezed his eyes shut. There was a fine trembling running through Jack’s arms, possibly because he was gripping Kozmotis’ hips hard enough to ensure there would be finger-shaped bruises left behind, and although his face was scrunched up in concentration, his mouth was slack in pleasure.

“Ohh, that’s not helping,” Jack said suddenly, grimacing as his eyes fluttered open.

“What?” It was the only confused response Kozmotis could manage in one harsh breath.

“Well, I kind of always fantasised about you bending me over the desk,” Jack said with an embarrassed laugh, sounding a little jittery with nerves. “But now I’m imagining bending you over the desk.”

Kozmotis had to breath in deeply and slowly out again, his self-restraint starting to crumble at the imagery Jack’s words were conjuring up in his mind.

“We can do that another time.”

With that said, Kozmotis used his legs to urge Jack to start moving, writhing intently.

“Koz, I’m not going to last,” Jack gasped with a hint of panic in his voice.

It didn’t matter. They could have this again—on the desk, if Jack wanted that so badly—so if their first ‘proper’ time didn’t last as long as they wanted, they could do it over later. They had the time for that now.

“That’s fine, just- _please_.”

He was close already without having been touched much at all. That would have been mortifying, but it had been a long while since either of them had pleasure like this so it was no surprise that they were both rather easily stimulated. With Jack inside of him, he just didn't have the presence of mind to be embarrassed. There was only longing.

There would be a chance to build up stamina the next time.

Jack hesitated for a few more seconds before he started moving, haltingly at first and then it became hard thrusting as Jack lost himself in pleasure. Kozmotis’ breath became a hitching, faltering thing. He didn’t even have enough air in his lungs to moan as Jack wrapped fingers around his aching cock and started stroking in time with his thrusts.

Kozmotis tried in vain to stave off his orgasm, clutching at Jack’s free hand tightly, but when Jack shifted and changed the angle of his next thrust, there was a sharp lance of pleasure that sent him right over the edge with a hoarse cry.

He tightened around Jack as he climaxed, causing Jack to falter in his rhythm. There were two more messy thrusts and Jack followed suit, coming with a delicious moan that Kozmotis was certain would be a noise he would never forget.

What followed was only the sound of their ragged breathing filling the room.

Somehow Jack managed to stay mostly upright despite how badly he was trembling, though he looked as overwhelmed and dazed as Kozmotis felt.

Kozmotis willed his heavy limbs to move so he could guide Jack to lie down beside him, biting back a whimper as Jack withdrew. He used his discarded shirt to clean the mess his own orgasm had left on his stomach before grabbing the blanket and pulling it over the both of them. Only once he’d done that and gathered Jack in his arms did he allow himself to start recovering.

Slowly their breathing evened out and Jack’s trembling stopped. Contentment stole over him as the intensity wore off and they found themselves smiling softly at each other, lazy and happy and a tangle of limbs.

It was another ‘as it should be’ moment and Kozmotis could not feel more grateful.

He had a home, he had a family, and the galaxies were safe again. It might not be the same as how he started out all those years ago when he’d decided to rid the universe of evil for the sake of his family, but he had all the things he’d always wanted.

He pressed a kiss to Jack’s forehead, hoping that it could somehow convey all the gratitude he felt for having someone as amazing as Jack in life, before closing his eyes and basking in the afterglow.

“Koz?”

Jack’s voice spoke up quietly after a while, keeping Kozmotis from drifting off into slumber.

“Hm?” He cracked one eye open to regard his lover, the corner of his mouth already lifting up into a smile.

“I think I will be alright.”

Kozmotis nodded. He’d already known that, Jack just had to believe that himself. And more than that …

“Yes, we will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who read this fic! You all made this endeavour in fic writing worth it whether you commented, gave kudos, liked the chapter posts on tumblr or simply kept reading. I’ve never written a fic this long before and you all kept me motivated to finish what I started. So thank you past, present and future readers!
> 
> I also want to extend special thanks to the regular commenters: Odd, sociallyChameleonic, BoringIsDull and tiniestrebelwitharainbow, frostandnight, 2330nm over on tumblr. (Why yes, I do read all the tags. c; ) Your continued support helped tremendously!
> 
> As always, you can find me over on tumblr at http://frostre.tumblr.com where you can shoot me questions or prompts and find updates on future fics.

**Author's Note:**

> For updates, comments and questions, check out my tumblr: http://frostre.tumblr.com/


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